Sunday, 22 February 2009
a change of life
Right, i've decided to write the 202th entry to mark the end of this blog that depicted my life since may 1 2007.
why the change you would ask. well... while i was bathing after a badminton session with the badminton khakis at bishan sports hall, it made me think abt how i'm going to be a changed person.... oh, btw the 'it' means the wierd feeling after the game and how the words from a so called coach told me just now.He said that i need to find someone to practise my basic skills....well of course my skills are lousy as compared to others... and those experts are trained in school, by proper coach..
right so tell me where to get a 'proper' coach?
i'm going to get it and this so called 'determination' from it and the 'determination' from learning music from ben makes me feel as if i'm accomplishing something i've dreamt abt.
well...what i dreamt abt is to pursue what i want, like with freedom?? like paying with my own money...of course i've yet to find a job...going to find one soon...monday..going to call the photography job..
so pursuing music is what i like... exercising is also what i wanted, but in this case, cos i'm not that 'welcome' and as a lousy communicator, i failed to talk to many pple and build rapport with them. and this exercising thing is soon going to flop cos .... i just dislike the feeling of being the odd one out. even sandra gave me this wierd look.... of unfamiliarity and awkwardness..
i dunno.. i guess if my skills are there, i'll be slightly happier in there.
and btw, my arms and thighs ache like shit. plus, i did alot of heavy moving of the washing machine, my arms are totally flabby and why i still can type this entry out, it's becos the love for blogging.. muahaha! ok..lame
anway, the 'determination' to find a job and to do part time while i am studying makes me feel that many things would turn for the better.... The year of the Ox should be at least a better year?? cos...i'm starting to get in touch with pple, starting to see why i should focus even more in perhaps studies.. my future... my ....pgd...
no need them to email me, i oso noe i am not going to make it into the Hons...
right... with many new things going to come up in my life...i feel really excited abt it and i would like to... take this opportunity to tell everyone who reads my blog that i'm converting my style of blogging from lamentation to LESSONS IN LIFE!
yeah!! *applause*
so for eg. guys are not into me, i'll say it such that the post goes like this:
¬¬¬¬
Lesson no. 1 He's just not that into you (the show coincides btw)
****blah blah like Alex......****
¬¬¬¬
get it? haha! i feel like a teacher...
Saturday, 21 February 2009
He's JUST NOT THAT into you
Watched the touching show 'he's just NOT that into you.'
it soooooooooo reflect how i felt and what all i did and all those misunderstandings i went thru!!!
the signs, girls linking up things guy does, girls fantasizing..... damn, Alex in that show was so right.
his role made me think alot. but same for GiGi that character. she made me feel that i should just clear up the misunderstanding i had wth yd.
i think i;ll just msg him to meet up to talk abt it. despite him who had already put everything at the back of his mind. i'll just have to say everyting clearly...so i wont dream or even make the same the mistakes of linking all the 'signs' up and make a fool out of myself.
but of course, according to Alex in the show, if guys really like you, they will be in contact with you, and girls just dun bug them or call them... urgh!
this is the part i dread the most.. he nv call and you'll be wondering why he didnt. and why didnt he reply my msg when he said he will..
all these... are so irritating. well.. for me, i kinda get things like these like,.... all the time..
so yah.. now i know where i stand... sigh..
i told qy abt yd, and she said that her fren is a 'GOOD PLAYER' that is, well i din exactly interpret full what she meant but she means that just frens and dun be into the whole mood of love first???
i dunno... but yeah.. .that is always the case, isnt it?? guys will initiate and girls just wait... even tryin to 'casually' stopping by his workplace would be a 'great' bad idea.
So am i still going to msg him to say that i wanna talk abt the misunderstanding??
oh, haha... until now, qy or whoever reads my blog still dunno what is the whole misunderstanding abt.. haha.. i think jy knows.
but anw, it's not the misunderstanding abt musically inclined thing but rather, it's the misunderstanding abt 'trying to hit on you', abt ' linking every actions up that i thought will lead to a bloody thing', and abt the 'blog for best frens and not for public to read' and perhaps some other details that are not so specific. ithink... i dunno...
so... i guess i'll just be GiGi for another moment, but i'll just text, and nt call. text that imma meet up with him someday to talk abt this... and this someday has to be soon. if not, i will feel guilty....
or according to the show, i dunno how the guy will think.??? hhaha.. right.. so funny.
anw, i like the part when GiGi got back home with Bill sending her off ( alex's fren, whom she tot was fictitious), den alex came all the way, wanting to tell her how much he became her( symptoms of liking someone) and gg was like saying, 'someone wise told me... blah blah'
PLUS!! with MY FAV SONG!!!
KEANE'S SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW
IT makes this confession scene sooo touching!!!!!! seriously... cos this song itself is very melodious, melancholic but inspiring...... and now, with this scene... my tears welled up in my eyes.
my God! lucky i watched it with my best female frens. i was able to relate how i felt over the whole issue and now i'm kinda enlightened by this show, i am.. haha! relieved in a way.
and i think i'm kinda lucky not to watch this show with dinnie and yd...if not... what the hell, i'm going to feel so embarrassed! cos i think both of us know...the scene when alex told gigi that he din like her at all and gigi was oh so embarrassed for showing her love by kissing him.
she cried of course, and.. blah! i did too. cos i feel she's just too pitiful....but i'd say brave becos what she said to alex was so true.... not like.. mr alex!? for that moment, i felt that Alex was a jerk for saying that outright infront of her!!!
ah... its 1238am, oh... yes..
he just msn-ed me...cos i just realised i'm on ebuddy... no signals to tell me he msn-ed me..
ya...he said i gotta chill... yeah... stillllll i sense something'sstill missing? ok gotta chill...
clear sky now.. BLUE SKY - A-Ha!
check it out! it's a great song!
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
today and 1st May
Finally, the 200th post has come... still, do i change??? perhaps not... cos.. whatever i 've written, the public had seen it... and this ' public ' sounded rude, after 1 incident...
so, i guess i gotta be careful in what i say in the future........just keep quiet lor.. abt this blog, i'll just be discreet... i guess... i'll have to rvert back to writing my feelings in a diary book...tangible and not the internet...
..................................................!........................!!........
ok, today, my dad brought his car to the shop to paint a scratch...
den i went to queenswy to by badminton shoes. .yay!!! it was fast..cos the colour was great and the size, even thoughit says 40.5, it fits nicelyfor my feet.. very happy!!! yayy!!!
after that, went to isetan, oh my goodness... there is fair again! there is ths.. TOSA jap fair... and they have this pastry made of total sweet potato, it's cold and it's SUPER NICE!!!!!!
bought one. thought of giving to yd, but since he said he dun like pple to visit him and see his terrible face, i just forget the whole thing... and i think i was dumb to ask a qn that might have hurt anyone...sigh... another mistake in life.....
ok, then, ate udon which is handmade, and sauce... bought it. then ate crispy fish...its small... and has black sesame. it sweet too. yum~
den ate, tomato jelly. can you believe it??? oh my god!!! SO YUMMY!! so is yuju--- what we call citron, 柚子.
it's very refreshing!!! they also have citron or yuju soy sauce?? urgh, it tasted, wierd.. sour like vinegar but salty like those soy sauce... but it was nice. :D
den they had sorbet of different flavour...HEAR PROPERLY, ITS DIFFERENT FLAVOUR!!
english tea, citron, orange... etc.. i din eat them all..cos... many pple were there.. and i was tired with the heavy music book...
den, bought an apple ..pie??? from sun moulin. it was soooonice!!! the apple slices are not thin but thick! no sour taste but nice sweet pleasant meat of the apple... oh my god!!! i'm more in love with apple now!!!
i love apples.. really... all kinds... can i have my english name as apple?? but that's my fren's nick oready... cherapple?? eww.. no.. sounds wierd.
ok, so .. oh wait... before we even went to isetan, my mom and i walked the dfs shopping. checked outthe watch area... i was feeling high cos it's watch!!! my dad said that he's going to get me a watch..
yay!!! i'm soo excited! my bday's coming and nv knew it came that fast..and i'm definitely going to have a nice party... inviting my frens to come.. wow
but seriously, i dunno where... i dunno where to hold that party... any suggestions??
but the criteria would be that i want games, and mingling session, if anyone wants, they can sing...and muahaha, invite Ben to play the piano..
WOW!!! sounds like i'm such a princess.. hhahaha! an ugly princess indeed.. i cant imagine.. seriously.. cos 1st, i dun know of anyone whom i can hold long convo with.. which is sad... 2nd, not rich enough
3rd, not flashing enough to tell pple i 'm the star today...cos of my complexion... and perhaps my braces?? ahaha braces is not in the list anyway. in another words, plain and ugly.
4th, i dun have a nice house, so i cant invite pple to my house,, unlike my school mate from sec, Reine. she got nice big house... and she invited people to play the violin and cellos... of course,, that i dunno for what occasion.
5th...etc..
yeah, my mom's going to give me key pendnt or some necklace.. wow... i love them to bits.. not that i'm materialistic.. but judging from the way they splurge the money despite financial low ability, i am really grateful to them...
probably, i'll just list down the pple i want to invite, tentatively..
(JCU)Qy and her bf(hopefully), Annie, Jessie, Wisnu, esther?? louis?? jy?? corlizz??, rebecca group??, melissa and group??
(JC)Simin, Adeline, Rebecca, michelle, sock shyan.
(Sec) jo, cy,hwee, jade? yuehan?? hansong??? ws?? xavier?? conrad?? handi??
btw,, those sec with ??, they are more like the group frens of mine.. not like best buddies.. cos irarely mingle with them like cy hwee and jo... dunno la.. see how..
if they want to ask them along, it's going to be great. cos it's wierd to invite them myself..
as well as jcu and jc ones...
ok... den, perhaps... dinnie, ben, yc...ching?? nicolas???the badminton khakis?? jiesheng and aunt( my cuzzie), paulvin singh and family??, (xiewli, aaron and uncle??),
looks like there's alot.. hahaha, but pple, anyone i know, if u want to come, perhps you can msg me? den i see if the place is enuff for fill that many pple first..not that oyu're not impt in my life.. cos i believe that everyone has an effect on everyone they know/ :D:D:D
but depends on what kind of place i book, cos even the above pple, i might have to sdly, remove from the list. ya.
probably, i might get a chalet or somethin?? so whoever wants to stay over, can do so... i'm sure there will be games.. going to consult my JC SC and debators for games... hehehehe!!! oh, whoever knows, please tell me! thanks
oooh... i m sooo excited!!!
Monday, 16 February 2009
Fires between Nokia and Sony Ericsson. LOL
i realised that i'm so cut off from the world outside.... sigh....when can i really get out of my shell??
i'm sure it's all got to do with nature and nurture. how the family shapes you and how you're born makes a great difference to what kind a person is and how they interact.
anyway, it's my 2nd last post, i want to end it with a bang.. but on the other end, i dun wish to change....
should i change??
anyway. sad topic please shoo....
*Tong tong, mic test*
* 'ahem'. the emcee clears his throat into the mic, pulled his blazer proper and braced himself up and smile. He speaks into the mic with the utmost enthusiasm.*
* "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MAY WE STAND AND WELCOME THE MOST HAPPENING PHONE OF THE YEAR AND FOR THE FOLLOWING YEAR. PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR SONY ERICSSON, X1.
XPERIA!!!!!!!!!!!!
(((((((( That above was written on 16 feb,))))))))
* some one barges in the big grand doors, and stood there, panting. guards at the back finally chased up and stood there, gaping at the bad situation that was going to happen.*
*It's a lie! dont believe single word he said.*
* mumbles..and wierd looks at the man that barged in*
*"nokia 5800 and E75 are far more advanced and stable than X1. what's important is the price."*
*more and louder gasps*
* beaded sweats trickles down the round and baldy forehead of the emcee. he swallowed, his adam apple went down like the lurch of his stomach, and up.*
*" take a look at yourself, pity yourself! attending a gala that is one big illusion. thinking you're the best?? go and look at your reflection in the tiny surface of your wine. your reflection stares back at you, utterly disfigured. would you accept yourself in believing all these so called 'truths'? all these so called, prestige? "
* ladies and gentleman, may we resume our opening of the latest handphone? may we, ignore this filthy, insane unruly man? He of course, is not speaking the truth. he is a bold as a lion but as foolish as a ~~~~can we say mule here?? i forgt what animal to use here~~~~
Guards, please escort this gentleman out."*
*" Foolish people! dun take a word from that man, HE'S LYING! HE'S LYING. NOKIA 5800 AND E75 ARE BETTER THAN X1! "*
*The door shuts tightly and there is an air of uncertainty. mumbles start and the emcee brings the mic quickly to his dry lips. " Accept my apologies for that embarrassing moment. That was
not expected in today's programme though. May we turn our attention to our Chairman of Sony Ericsson as he speaks about the ever first windows mobile handphone for son ericsson? please put our hands together to welcome, mr. ......"*
* as the chairman speaks, one brave soul stands up suddenly and shouted, 'you're absolutely lying! how can you be so thick-skinned to promote your product when the whole thing is not revised and tested? you should have done more surveys!'*
O right, right up to now, guess who that brave soul?? the twin of the man who barged in.
ok ok... that will spoil the ending... it's actually a spy from the nokia.
*" As a police, i have the right to arrest you for your groundless claims and claims that will dothe market no good. You may remain silent but whatever you say may be used as an evidence against you. May i have my colleagues escort you from the stage?'*
just as finished his sentence, the chairman, scoot off quickly, as 2 body guards from the company bring him to the back door to escape. the police officer in his nice blazer, along with others gave chase.
gun shots were heard, and the crowd screamed and bent down to hide under the tables. some ran around to find the exit, trying to escape. it was the secretary of the chairman's that pulled the trigger. the policemen took cover and both xchanged a few rounds before the secretary ran out of bullets. he made a run for the back door and a few shots almost hit him. but alas! he escaped even though the police ran up to the topmost floor because they took flight.
the moral of the story goes like this: please compare and ask around first before deciding on one thing.
sigh... this story took a twist after my fren told me the pros and cons of both kind of hps. and that's 17th feb
but nevermind... just use it...
finally, a piece of art in mind
right...chatted with ben from 330 like that toabt 6 plus??? i need to read up alot of things..cos most of the tiime it's him who's talking..sigh.. so sad for me... no input..
den decided like so happily that he will teach me piano. so we went up to united sq this floor where kids learn instrument.den he chose a grad 1 theory exam booklet..
he took abt 1 hour i think to teach me the basics..
paying him of course, he's a dip in music piano.. wow! but glad to have met a fren like him
it's worth it.
i cant believe i'm learning music!!!!!!!!
i am soooo excited!!!!!!!!!!
oh my God....Thank God for all these arrangement. finally a chance to learn... imust really put my heart into it becos i long wanted to learn.
i like listening to classical music...and i like singing... dancing to the rhythm...aesthetic.. wow...
but no confidence so no more dance.. but i still like it alot... :)
i actually like violin.. but no body i know of can play...and yamaha at ps charge 107 in a group per mnth.
i still have my reserves bah...
i saw a piano.. it's around 6600. ex right??? walao...
violin... about 1000???
guitar about 770...
sian...
but for the love of music... i'll perservere..
his image still imprints in my mind, hardly fading away. i may have gave him the wrong impression and disappointed him. but i guess, there's no hurry. :)
Sunday, 15 February 2009
embarassment
al right... he really read my blog....sucks to the core man...
actually wanted to stop writing after 200 entries but he made it clear to me via sms abt e musical inclined issue...
i realised something... wat ever he said, he meant it like.. innocently?? or rather... he sees it as one plane... whereas me or if u want... girls generally would see it in 2 planes or more...
haha
sounds mathematical
well.. it's just me that's extra... cos....he did tell me once that he lost faith.... dunno anyone would be faithful to him... and he dunno to find one or not or he meant it as he's not ready kinda stuff...
dots.... i just realised that the 'watever' in is preventing me from becoming a good counsellor...
i need to be precise!! help me!!!
ok, back to the topic..yeah... so i am now totally embarrassed...
and he didnt pop The Qn, so i'll just stay s it is-- Friends
anyway, i shall treat him like how i treat ben- brother... older or younger?? older perhaps, cos i m a blur queen?? lol.. watever la... my role now is like a counsellor and a fren.
all right
whoever reads my blog, thanks for patronizing, and JY and Rebecca, i know you're reading my blog too.. hahaha!!!
People who reads my blog, just msn me to get the new url. i thank u all..
*bows*
ok..decide to fill the last 4 entries with other stuff. :)
PS to Yan: if you happen to read my blog, please, dun worry, there's no misunderstanding seriously!!! they are all my rants, nothing much... afterall, i noe how to view things!!! i know how to counsel myself... so ya... no misunderstandings but frens. :)
Saturday, 14 February 2009
V day
Happy V day to all kinds of pple!!!
today met up with Danny, before that, i called uncle francis and realised that there's no badminton! alamak!!! so i decided to meet yd at 7.
ok.... danny's 19 and i'm 21...that's 2 yrs diff... and we think differently too. he's a thinker, he likes to do things alone and he's a leader himself... great for guy like that. but he thinks too much i guess, we rarely talk... and wierdly we talk more of ns stuff when we walk around ps area. wanted to watch movie to tide time but there's no availabe time. he's very nice to walk around with me despite having blisters on his feet.
he's got nice pair of eyes, though, big and intense pair. of course, a nice smile. that's not including his teeth. hahahahah!!!
how mean right?? whatever, i say what i feel though, but there's no harm seriously!!!
yeah, i told him that i m meeting a fren, but i went back home instead, felt bored though...
met yd at bishan eventually and watched the wedding game or matter... it's super funny!!! my god!!!
esp the wrestling part... or rather slightly b efore that part! i laughed till i nearly had asthma!!! and sadly, i laugh disgracefully infront of yd... it's v day and i shouldnt do that...must be more feminine abit.
but heck la... it's funny and i m not going to restrain myself. be it my bf or potential guy bside me. muahahahahahahahaha!!!!
bought drinks from Mac and later, he told me to wait, i wait by playing with straws and later, he pop out and say, for you ..(i think. cos i'm shocked that he would buy) i was like... happy but surprised. i nv tot he'll buy. cos
1stly, i treated him as friend... and i thought he treat me the same way too.
2ndly, i tot normally guys will give when they meet e girls immediately. but he gave like in the middle??? or rather when we're going home.
3rdly, i dun see the need when we;re frens... but of course, v day, a day where guys thought it would be gentleman to buy a flower for a girl.
anyway,, it's a full bloomed one.. as compared to the one danny bought me... he said it's a complimentary gift.. like that kind of 1st time meeting gift?? yeah...
but i kept my tots abt the flower...
we walk around market and best denki...and i was still drinking my drink... milo... and i kinda got high i think...and i think i said something really wrong...
i said im attracted to guys who are musically inclined... and he said.. i'm not that kind of guy who's musically inclined.. i'm musically retarded. den the anti climax came, i said, who's attracted to you............
.............*crows fly by*...........*red flushes*.........*deep embarrassment* cos he said something that meant like 'i dun mean that i like you, and yo're getting the wrong idea! i dun like you, you're just a friend!?!?'
sigh.... i guess i'm high on milo... and on that show too. blame it on the v day i think... but seriously, he's quite gentleman.
....
and btw, i'm notthe only female fren any guy have only lor, including yd.
and he's just broke up with his gf.. i saw two neoprints in his wallet though, with his gf. really pretty. but it's just a glimpse anw.
so yeah bck to that awkardness, he said he's going washroom. so i went there too... i feel bad...
we din speak when we were walking to the mrt... he sent me home... that's very sweet.. or rather...just another job of a gentleman a guy would do???
oh... at the mrt station, i told him that the flower that's fully bloomed is for older ladies.. i think or matured women?? i forgot...but he said next time i buy you seeds.
and when we watched the wedding game, i was puzzled when i noticed there's no rest bar on my left. i sat at the inner most column, so he's on my left. yeah i even fiddled around to see if theres's really no rest bar forthis cinema.
whatever la... today was great. :0)
