Born New

a change of life

2009-02-22T01:10:00.002+08:00

Right, i've decided to write the 202th entry to mark the end of this blog that depicted my life since may 1 2007.

why the change you would ask. well... while i was bathing after a badminton session with the badminton khakis at bishan sports hall, it made me think abt how i'm going to be a changed person.... oh, btw the 'it' means the wierd feeling after the game and how the words from a so called coach told me just now.He said that i need to find someone to practise my basic skills....well of course my skills are lousy as compared to others... and those experts are trained in school, by proper coach..

right so tell me where to get a 'proper' coach?

i'm going to get it and this so called 'determination' from it and the 'determination' from learning music from ben makes me feel as if i'm accomplishing something i've dreamt abt.

well...what i dreamt abt is to pursue what i want, like with freedom?? like paying with my own money...of course i've yet to find a job...going to find one soon...monday..going to call the photography job..

so pursuing music is what i like... exercising is also what i wanted, but in this case, cos i'm not that 'welcome' and as a lousy communicator, i failed to talk to many pple and build rapport with them. and this exercising thing is soon going to flop cos .... i just dislike the feeling of being the odd one out. even sandra gave me this wierd look.... of unfamiliarity and awkwardness..

i dunno.. i guess if my skills are there, i'll be slightly happier in there.

and btw, my arms and thighs ache like shit. plus, i did alot of heavy moving of the washing machine, my arms are totally flabby and why i still can type this entry out, it's becos the love for blogging.. muahaha! ok..lame

anway, the 'determination' to find a job and to do part time while i am studying makes me feel that many things would turn for the better.... The year of the Ox should be at least a better year?? cos...i'm starting to get in touch with pple, starting to see why i should focus even more in perhaps studies.. my future... my ....pgd...

no need them to email me, i oso noe i am not going to make it into the Hons...

right... with many new things going to come up in my life...i feel really excited abt it and i would like to... take this opportunity to tell everyone who reads my blog that i'm converting my style of blogging from lamentation to LESSONS IN LIFE!

yeah!! *applause*

so for eg. guys are not into me, i'll say it such that the post goes like this:

¬¬¬¬
Lesson no. 1 He's just not that into you (the show coincides btw)

****blah blah like Alex......****

¬¬¬¬

get it? haha! i feel like a teacher...

He's JUST NOT THAT into you

2009-02-21T00:14:00.005+08:00

Watched the touching show 'he's just NOT that into you.'

it soooooooooo reflect how i felt and what all i did and all those misunderstandings i went thru!!!

the signs, girls linking up things guy does, girls fantasizing..... damn, Alex in that show was so right.

his role made me think alot. but same for GiGi that character. she made me feel that i should just clear up the misunderstanding i had wth yd.

i think i;ll just msg him to meet up to talk abt it. despite him who had already put everything at the back of his mind. i'll just have to say everyting clearly...so i wont dream or even make the same the mistakes of linking all the 'signs' up and make a fool out of myself.

but of course, according to Alex in the show, if guys really like you, they will be in contact with you, and girls just dun bug them or call them... urgh!

this is the part i dread the most.. he nv call and you'll be wondering why he didnt. and why didnt he reply my msg when he said he will..

all these... are so irritating. well.. for me, i kinda get things like these like,.... all the time..

so yah.. now i know where i stand... sigh..

i told qy abt yd, and she said that her fren is a 'GOOD PLAYER' that is, well i din exactly interpret full what she meant but she means that just frens and dun be into the whole mood of love first???

i dunno... but yeah.. .that is always the case, isnt it?? guys will initiate and girls just wait... even tryin to 'casually' stopping by his workplace would be a 'great' bad idea.

So am i still going to msg him to say that i wanna talk abt the misunderstanding??

oh, haha... until now, qy or whoever reads my blog still dunno what is the whole misunderstanding abt.. haha.. i think jy knows.

but anw, it's not the misunderstanding abt musically inclined thing but rather, it's the misunderstanding abt 'trying to hit on you', abt ' linking every actions up that i thought will lead to a bloody thing', and abt the 'blog for best frens and not for public to read' and perhaps some other details that are not so specific. ithink... i dunno...

so... i guess i'll just be GiGi for another moment, but i'll just text, and nt call. text that imma meet up with him someday to talk abt this... and this someday has to be soon. if not, i will feel guilty....

or according to the show, i dunno how the guy will think.??? hhaha.. right.. so funny.

anw, i like the part when GiGi got back home with Bill sending her off ( alex's fren, whom she tot was fictitious), den alex came all the way, wanting to tell her how much he became her( symptoms of liking someone) and gg was like saying, 'someone wise told me... blah blah'

PLUS!! with MY FAV SONG!!!

KEANE'S SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW

IT makes this confession scene sooo touching!!!!!! seriously... cos this song itself is very melodious, melancholic but inspiring...... and now, with this scene... my tears welled up in my eyes.

my God! lucky i watched it with my best female frens. i was able to relate how i felt over the whole issue and now i'm kinda enlightened by this show, i am.. haha! relieved in a way.

and i think i'm kinda lucky not to watch this show with dinnie and yd...if not... what the hell, i'm going to feel so embarrassed! cos i think both of us know...the scene when alex told gigi that he din like her at all and gigi was oh so embarrassed for showing her love by kissing him.

she cried of course, and.. blah! i did too. cos i feel she's just too pitiful....but i'd say brave becos what she said to alex was so true.... not like.. mr alex!? for that moment, i felt that Alex was a jerk for saying that outright infront of her!!!

ah... its 1238am, oh... yes..

he just msn-ed me...cos i just realised i'm on ebuddy... no signals to tell me he msn-ed me..

ya...he said i gotta chill... yeah... stillllll i sense something'sstill missing? ok gotta chill...

clear sky now.. BLUE SKY - A-Ha!

check it out! it's a great song!

today and 1st May

2009-02-18T22:36:00.004+08:00

Finally, the 200th post has come... still, do i change??? perhaps not... cos.. whatever i 've written, the public had seen it... and this ' public ' sounded rude, after 1 incident...

so, i guess i gotta be careful in what i say in the future........just keep quiet lor.. abt this blog, i'll just be discreet... i guess... i'll have to rvert back to writing my feelings in a diary book...tangible and not the internet...

..................................................!........................!!........

ok, today, my dad brought his car to the shop to paint a scratch...

den i went to queenswy to by badminton shoes. .yay!!! it was fast..cos the colour was great and the size, even thoughit says 40.5, it fits nicelyfor my feet.. very happy!!! yayy!!!

after that, went to isetan, oh my goodness... there is fair again! there is ths.. TOSA jap fair... and they have this pastry made of total sweet potato, it's cold and it's SUPER NICE!!!!!!

bought one. thought of giving to yd, but since he said he dun like pple to visit him and see his terrible face, i just forget the whole thing... and i think i was dumb to ask a qn that might have hurt anyone...sigh... another mistake in life.....

ok, then, ate udon which is handmade, and sauce... bought it. then ate crispy fish...its small... and has black sesame. it sweet too. yum~

den ate, tomato jelly. can you believe it??? oh my god!!! SO YUMMY!! so is yuju--- what we call citron, 柚子.

it's very refreshing!!! they also have citron or yuju soy sauce?? urgh, it tasted, wierd.. sour like vinegar but salty like those soy sauce... but it was nice. :D

den they had sorbet of different flavour...HEAR PROPERLY, ITS DIFFERENT FLAVOUR!!

english tea, citron, orange... etc.. i din eat them all..cos... many pple were there.. and i was tired with the heavy music book...

den, bought an apple ..pie??? from sun moulin. it was soooonice!!! the apple slices are not thin but thick! no sour taste but nice sweet pleasant meat of the apple... oh my god!!! i'm more in love with apple now!!!

i love apples.. really... all kinds... can i have my english name as apple?? but that's my fren's nick oready... cherapple?? eww.. no.. sounds wierd.

ok, so .. oh wait... before we even went to isetan, my mom and i walked the dfs shopping. checked outthe watch area... i was feeling high cos it's watch!!! my dad said that he's going to get me a watch..

yay!!! i'm soo excited! my bday's coming and nv knew it came that fast..and i'm definitely going to have a nice party... inviting my frens to come.. wow

but seriously, i dunno where... i dunno where to hold that party... any suggestions??

but the criteria would be that i want games, and mingling session, if anyone wants, they can sing...and muahaha, invite Ben to play the piano..

WOW!!! sounds like i'm such a princess.. hhahaha! an ugly princess indeed.. i cant imagine.. seriously.. cos 1st, i dun know of anyone whom i can hold long convo with.. which is sad... 2nd, not rich enough

3rd, not flashing enough to tell pple i 'm the star today...cos of my complexion... and perhaps my braces?? ahaha braces is not in the list anyway. in another words, plain and ugly.

4th, i dun have a nice house, so i cant invite pple to my house,, unlike my school mate from sec, Reine. she got nice big house... and she invited people to play the violin and cellos... of course,, that i dunno for what occasion.

5th...etc..

yeah, my mom's going to give me key pendnt or some necklace.. wow... i love them to bits.. not that i'm materialistic.. but judging from the way they splurge the money despite financial low ability, i am really grateful to them...

probably, i'll just list down the pple i want to invite, tentatively..

(JCU)Qy and her bf(hopefully), Annie, Jessie, Wisnu, esther?? louis?? jy?? corlizz??, rebecca group??, melissa and group??

(JC)Simin, Adeline, Rebecca, michelle, sock shyan.

(Sec) jo, cy,hwee, jade? yuehan?? hansong??? ws?? xavier?? conrad?? handi??

btw,, those sec with ??, they are more like the group frens of mine.. not like best buddies.. cos irarely mingle with them like cy hwee and jo... dunno la.. see how..

if they want to ask them along, it's going to be great. cos it's wierd to invite them myself..

as well as jcu and jc ones...

ok... den, perhaps... dinnie, ben, yc...ching?? nicolas???the badminton khakis?? jiesheng and aunt( my cuzzie), paulvin singh and family??, (xiewli, aaron and uncle??),

looks like there's alot.. hahaha, but pple, anyone i know, if u want to come, perhps you can msg me? den i see if the place is enuff for fill that many pple first..not that oyu're not impt in my life.. cos i believe that everyone has an effect on everyone they know/ :D:D:D

but depends on what kind of place i book, cos even the above pple, i might have to sdly, remove from the list. ya.

probably, i might get a chalet or somethin?? so whoever wants to stay over, can do so... i'm sure there will be games.. going to consult my JC SC and debators for games... hehehehe!!! oh, whoever knows, please tell me! thanks

oooh... i m sooo excited!!!

Fires between Nokia and Sony Ericsson. LOL

2009-02-16T22:23:00.004+08:00

i realised that i'm so cut off from the world outside.... sigh....when can i really get out of my shell??

i'm sure it's all got to do with nature and nurture. how the family shapes you and how you're born makes a great difference to what kind a person is and how they interact.

anyway, it's my 2nd last post, i want to end it with a bang.. but on the other end, i dun wish to change....

should i change??

anyway. sad topic please shoo....

*Tong tong, mic test*

* 'ahem'. the emcee clears his throat into the mic, pulled his blazer proper and braced himself up and smile. He speaks into the mic with the utmost enthusiasm.*

* "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MAY WE STAND AND WELCOME THE MOST HAPPENING PHONE OF THE YEAR AND FOR THE FOLLOWING YEAR. PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR SONY ERICSSON, X1.

XPERIA!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((((((( That above was written on 16 feb,))))))))

* some one barges in the big grand doors, and stood there, panting. guards at the back finally chased up and stood there, gaping at the bad situation that was going to happen.*

*It's a lie! dont believe single word he said.*

* mumbles..and wierd looks at the man that barged in*

*"nokia 5800 and E75 are far more advanced and stable than X1. what's important is the price."*

*more and louder gasps*

* beaded sweats trickles down the round and baldy forehead of the emcee. he swallowed, his adam apple went down like the lurch of his stomach, and up.*

*" take a look at yourself, pity yourself! attending a gala that is one big illusion. thinking you're the best?? go and look at your reflection in the tiny surface of your wine. your reflection stares back at you, utterly disfigured. would you accept yourself in believing all these so called 'truths'? all these so called, prestige? "

* ladies and gentleman, may we resume our opening of the latest handphone? may we, ignore this filthy, insane unruly man? He of course, is not speaking the truth. he is a bold as a lion but as foolish as a ~~~~can we say mule here?? i forgt what animal to use here~~~~

Guards, please escort this gentleman out."*

*" Foolish people! dun take a word from that man, HE'S LYING! HE'S LYING. NOKIA 5800 AND E75 ARE BETTER THAN X1! "*

*The door shuts tightly and there is an air of uncertainty. mumbles start and the emcee brings the mic quickly to his dry lips. " Accept my apologies for that embarrassing moment. That was

not expected in today's programme though. May we turn our attention to our Chairman of Sony Ericsson as he speaks about the ever first windows mobile handphone for son ericsson? please put our hands together to welcome, mr. ......"*

* as the chairman speaks, one brave soul stands up suddenly and shouted, 'you're absolutely lying! how can you be so thick-skinned to promote your product when the whole thing is not revised and tested? you should have done more surveys!'*

O right, right up to now, guess who that brave soul?? the twin of the man who barged in.

ok ok... that will spoil the ending... it's actually a spy from the nokia.

*" As a police, i have the right to arrest you for your groundless claims and claims that will dothe market no good. You may remain silent but whatever you say may be used as an evidence against you. May i have my colleagues escort you from the stage?'*

just as finished his sentence, the chairman, scoot off quickly, as 2 body guards from the company bring him to the back door to escape. the police officer in his nice blazer, along with others gave chase.

gun shots were heard, and the crowd screamed and bent down to hide under the tables. some ran around to find the exit, trying to escape. it was the secretary of the chairman's that pulled the trigger. the policemen took cover and both xchanged a few rounds before the secretary ran out of bullets. he made a run for the back door and a few shots almost hit him. but alas! he escaped even though the police ran up to the topmost floor because they took flight.

the moral of the story goes like this: please compare and ask around first before deciding on one thing.

sigh... this story took a twist after my fren told me the pros and cons of both kind of hps. and that's 17th feb

but nevermind... just use it...

finally, a piece of art in mind

2009-02-16T01:42:00.004+08:00

right...chatted with ben from 330 like that toabt 6 plus??? i need to read up alot of things..cos most of the tiime it's him who's talking..sigh.. so sad for me... no input..

den decided like so happily that he will teach me piano. so we went up to united sq this floor where kids learn instrument.den he chose a grad 1 theory exam booklet..
he took abt 1 hour i think to teach me the basics..

paying him of course, he's a dip in music piano.. wow! but glad to have met a fren like him

it's worth it.

i cant believe i'm learning music!!!!!!!!

i am soooo excited!!!!!!!!!!

oh my God....Thank God for all these arrangement. finally a chance to learn... imust really put my heart into it becos i long wanted to learn.

i like listening to classical music...and i like singing... dancing to the rhythm...aesthetic.. wow...

but no confidence so no more dance.. but i still like it alot... :)

i actually like violin.. but no body i know of can play...and yamaha at ps charge 107 in a group per mnth.

i still have my reserves bah...

i saw a piano.. it's around 6600. ex right??? walao...

violin... about 1000???

guitar about 770...

sian...

but for the love of music... i'll perservere..

his image still imprints in my mind, hardly fading away. i may have gave him the wrong impression and disappointed him. but i guess, there's no hurry. :)

embarassment

2009-02-15T09:28:00.013+08:00

al right... he really read my blog....sucks to the core man...

actually wanted to stop writing after 200 entries but he made it clear to me via sms abt e musical inclined issue...

i realised something... wat ever he said, he meant it like.. innocently?? or rather... he sees it as one plane... whereas me or if u want... girls generally would see it in 2 planes or more...

haha

sounds mathematical

well.. it's just me that's extra... cos....he did tell me once that he lost faith.... dunno anyone would be faithful to him... and he dunno to find one or not or he meant it as he's not ready kinda stuff...

dots.... i just realised that the 'watever' in is preventing me from becoming a good counsellor...

i need to be precise!! help me!!!

ok, back to the topic..yeah... so i am now totally embarrassed...

and he didnt pop The Qn, so i'll just stay s it is-- Friends

anyway, i shall treat him like how i treat ben- brother... older or younger?? older perhaps, cos i m a blur queen?? lol.. watever la... my role now is like a counsellor and a fren.

all right

whoever reads my blog, thanks for patronizing, and JY and Rebecca, i know you're reading my blog too.. hahaha!!!

People who reads my blog, just msn me to get the new url. i thank u all..

*bows*

ok..decide to fill the last 4 entries with other stuff. :)

PS to Yan: if you happen to read my blog, please, dun worry, there's no misunderstanding seriously!!! they are all my rants, nothing much... afterall, i noe how to view things!!! i know how to counsel myself... so ya... no misunderstandings but frens. :)

V day

2009-02-14T23:39:00.008+08:00

Happy V day to all kinds of pple!!!

today met up with Danny, before that, i called uncle francis and realised that there's no badminton! alamak!!! so i decided to meet yd at 7.

ok.... danny's 19 and i'm 21...that's 2 yrs diff... and we think differently too. he's a thinker, he likes to do things alone and he's a leader himself... great for guy like that. but he thinks too much i guess, we rarely talk... and wierdly we talk more of ns stuff when we walk around ps area. wanted to watch movie to tide time but there's no availabe time. he's very nice to walk around with me despite having blisters on his feet.

he's got nice pair of eyes, though, big and intense pair. of course, a nice smile. that's not including his teeth. hahahahah!!!

how mean right?? whatever, i say what i feel though, but there's no harm seriously!!!

yeah, i told him that i m meeting a fren, but i went back home instead, felt bored though...

met yd at bishan eventually and watched the wedding game or matter... it's super funny!!! my god!!!

esp the wrestling part... or rather slightly b efore that part! i laughed till i nearly had asthma!!! and sadly, i laugh disgracefully infront of yd... it's v day and i shouldnt do that...must be more feminine abit.

but heck la... it's funny and i m not going to restrain myself. be it my bf or potential guy bside me. muahahahahahahahaha!!!!

bought drinks from Mac and later, he told me to wait, i wait by playing with straws and later, he pop out and say, for you ..(i think. cos i'm shocked that he would buy) i was like... happy but surprised. i nv tot he'll buy. cos

1stly, i treated him as friend... and i thought he treat me the same way too.

2ndly, i tot normally guys will give when they meet e girls immediately. but he gave like in the middle??? or rather when we're going home.

3rdly, i dun see the need when we;re frens... but of course, v day, a day where guys thought it would be gentleman to buy a flower for a girl.

anyway,, it's a full bloomed one.. as compared to the one danny bought me... he said it's a complimentary gift.. like that kind of 1st time meeting gift?? yeah...

but i kept my tots abt the flower...

we walk around market and best denki...and i was still drinking my drink... milo... and i kinda got high i think...and i think i said something really wrong...

i said im attracted to guys who are musically inclined... and he said.. i'm not that kind of guy who's musically inclined.. i'm musically retarded. den the anti climax came, i said, who's attracted to you............

.............*crows fly by*...........*red flushes*.........*deep embarrassment* cos he said something that meant like 'i dun mean that i like you, and yo're getting the wrong idea! i dun like you, you're just a friend!?!?'

sigh.... i guess i'm high on milo... and on that show too. blame it on the v day i think... but seriously, he's quite gentleman.

....

and btw, i'm notthe only female fren any guy have only lor, including yd.

and he's just broke up with his gf.. i saw two neoprints in his wallet though, with his gf. really pretty. but it's just a glimpse anw.

so yeah bck to that awkardness, he said he's going washroom. so i went there too... i feel bad...

we din speak when we were walking to the mrt... he sent me home... that's very sweet.. or rather...just another job of a gentleman a guy would do???

oh... at the mrt station, i told him that the flower that's fully bloomed is for older ladies.. i think or matured women?? i forgot...but he said next time i buy you seeds.

and when we watched the wedding game, i was puzzled when i noticed there's no rest bar on my left. i sat at the inner most column, so he's on my left. yeah i even fiddled around to see if theres's really no rest bar forthis cinema.

whatever la... today was great. :0)

wierd day tmr

2009-02-13T22:47:00.003+08:00

hmm.... jy and rebecca read my blog??? oh my goodness.. i gotta really stop writing abt yd... oh ya.. yd oso reads my blog!! alamak!!! must refrain.... must refrain....

ok... i still feel wierd when i look at yd... cos... he's just to small sized!!! makes me feel so big sized... that's the prob i think... it's me that i cant get over bah....

and also , he's really not in my category of guys!!! how??!! (a BIG W for whatever, and L for Loser...and M for me..... :'(

tmr's a wierd day... and even wierder at night. playing bad with ben tgt with bad seniors.. so excited!!!! and yes.. i've yet to buy my badminton shoes...

anyway, the wierd part is, not going for dinner after badminton , but go to changi airport or ecp?? that's far man! going to starve....

narf narf..

right... v day need not to be couples going for candle light dinner or spending time together... meetup with frens like that stupid ben is one example.... but ok la... playing bad still ok... :D

qy's alvin went to LA how cool is that!!?!?!?? oh my god!!! i soooooooooooooooooooo feel like going abroad now.. esp to western countries... even the nearest australia i oso can....

ya... but anyway really wish to meet guys of the category. :)

and it's like every v day, i'll just treat it as another happy occasion cos everytime, eg jc, you see pple giving and getting beautiful flowers, and sc setting up the V day booth... you feel happy for them!!! oh my... i so miss my jc days!!!! and that reminds me of Chalit... i tot i had feelings and he had feelings for me too... but...i guess he kinda felt offended, becos instead of talking happily with him as always on the train, i read my notes....please.... i hope he understands that im studying for my exam!! it's going to be A levels then!! well he din understand i guess cos he's not in my position.... he din board the same train as me le... sad...

and untill now, i dun feel the excitement from him when i talked like once on msn, with him.

argh... so many kinds of pple are on earth man!! personality... a great topic to study!

pre valentine?? iono

2009-02-13T01:18:00.002+08:00

Right, or left by rule...

i havent seen the guy i like for a long time. yes , a diff of 1 week tortures me. I guess i needa try to forget the hope of meeting him for a while before i get the chance to meet him again.

It's more like some fate or destiny matter, the more u wish to be with, the more you're not going to be wit him.

and yandao asked me out for movie, but i suggested daimaru's jap food. too bad mom cooked great thai food, i cant eat the jap food. seriously, the tom yum koong was great man!! not too hot.. i just love it!!! oh my god!!!!!!!! and the morning glory vege (thai vege) was an oomph! cos theres bao yu abalone sauce. yummay!

so, i decided to drive ourselves to daimaru. he ate some katsu curry... :) i ate salad... it was super salty... -_-"

ate strawberry champagne gelato... nice and makes u feel feminine and in a celebrated mood. literally yes...

walked around kino and later, clarke quay... he's complaining that i should bring him to CQ instead of the very little shoppers daimaru.... eh arlow! it's the food i want u to taste ok??? darn... watever... will go to CQ if we're drinking... haha!!! today no time to go CQ and enjoy the night la... can??

hahaaa!! den walked in central,, to find the shop Gobi....ah.. so he was talking abt the shop that i told my mom i want to taste their stuff.

den send him home to kembangan... super rich ok!!! i'll exchange anything for that kinda house for my family... hahaha!!!

and so.... 'lucky' his aunt saw me!!! so jia lat now... and mr yandao said i am his gf... wth? scandalous...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i hope he's joking though.... be frens still ok... close friend no prob... but ...going out like once only, you expect a girl to be ur gf?? that's wierd ok? admit i had good time just now...but...isnt that too fast? its even faster than Alvin with QY. and alvin's tall.. nt saying that short's bad..but while we were walking thru CQ back to carpark, i felt a wierd notion from this guy who looks not bad but abt the same height as yandao, and he's got a gf. he looked at me den to yd.... and he looked kinda mildly shocked....

i felt uneasy...

but watever la... just treat everybody as friend..with equality... we the citizens of singapore, pledge ourselves as one united pple. regardless of race, language or religion. to build a democratic society based on justice and equality, so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation.

u think i should go for tmr's meeting with him?? i got something on though....dunno!!!!! help me!!!

oh, abt him...he's funny but...i can barely find any common topic to talk with him... sigh...this might lose my chance to be friends with him...or haha!!! may this be a chance to lose him as potential one becos i'm boring him with wierd accents and wrong eng??? haahahahahahahA

oh, we passed by central, and saw this station selling valentine's stuff with roses... he asked if i want... i answer no thanks almost without thinking. and he said, you should say yes.

i was like... er... is this about social etiquette?? i need to go for some etiquette class man.... sigh..

but i just gave him some good excuse... to save money....

should have said yes, cos he's spending like a flick of an ice from the iceberg of his wealth! hhahahahahaha!!!!

but watever la... flower,... are nice to smell and have and whatever, but they just dun last... seeing them wither makes me feel even sadder cos i cant always keep the bloom... pic of them is....so fake.

no teddy bears cos they collect dust only... no choc....cos they will make girls gain weight only..and my braces look dirty.. hahaha!!!

what else??no ..wait.. i'm listening to majula singapura on tv... at 2am... hahahaha!!

reminds of my jc days...sigh....

ok back to dos and donts... ok... aas long asthey can be used... keychains... books..notepads....pens. (of course with quality please.. hahahaha) etc....

but anyway... valentine's day i'm busy... :P

what a day to kick start life

2009-02-10T23:27:00.002+08:00

watched ' The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'

and it was so touching!!! it's inspiring and made me think abt life.... brad pitt was attractive even if he's old. even more charming when he's young in his 30s to 40s. i love the ballet dancer Daisy.

my goodness...its a movie that surpass many movies i've watched. it's indescribeable.

i need more time to blog abt it. but it would be faster if you watch it. it's about 2 and 1/2 hr movie.. very nice... but u needa go to the washroom first before u watch. cos i bear untill cannot le den went out of the cinema, missing out the parts. ;(

benjamin's voice's sexy too. got the accent of New Orlean citizen. ;)

watched it with Dinnie and her church fren, yan. or yan chao. or yan dao.. LOL! no he's notthe last one. he's ordinary and we're taller than him yes... Dinnie and I are tall accordin to Yan haha!!! haha!! den he got tiger teeths. haha! and he's skinny... feeling jealous abt that... wat the hell?? i'm feeling fat now... but serious i'm gaining mass...a lot of extra fatty meats are forming...

ok... he asked me out on V day. damn daring huh? never had this kind of encounter. feeling great. :) perhaps the year of the Ox is a good year for me?? iono...needa check out for my zodiac.

and cos V day is sat, got alumni meeting in e morning and Danny a new found friend on fb meeting me in e afternoon. dun get any wrong idea here, i dun expect him to be anyone impt but just friend cos i think he's younger n hes from ITE. but i agreed to meet up cos he gave me the impression that his eng's good.. .at least better than some 22 years studying tp guy...he said, " me study biz"

is that short form or bad eng? shouldnt it be I'M studyING biz. and he dun look good looking... to me at least... i dunno abt others of him... so i shouldnt be saying much abt him. :P:P:P

sorry!!! i'm a straightforward person.

in e night 7pm, there's badminton..with my dad's bad's khaki i told u before. i'm kinda guilty that i missed that gathering last sat.... i really wish to go cos there's Matthias, the lawyer to be cute charming son of uncle raymond... and i believe he's not going to be there this sat... i feel no confidence at all when i see him... he's too cool... but i'd like his kind. he's like in the 'category of dream guy'. LOL!!

i'm feeling wierd anyway... liking different pple... :S

forget abt everything... take it as it comes... but then... pple would say opportunities are self created... and they dun come by easily or often.

sigh... i sounds like i feel like controlling my fate... my life... i feel like i want to be special!

life's full of surprises and yet some unwanted....

right... so i told yan that can go supper after badminton...:) u know why?? cos he suggested clubbing for an alternative after i said no time for him on sat but after badminton... and he said he 'messed up'. funny... ben would forbid me to go clubbin whereas yan asked me to go clubbing... haha!!!

oh btw ben is my fren... that's all... he's lame... and he's childish..argh!

haha!!! anyway... abt the height... cos i'm taller, this might pose some prob.. but but... that all depends on him bah? i'm ok de la...

but but... nothing's been clear yet...so i'm not hoping... i'll be treating him as friend though.. super normal fren... who knows he got some bet with his ns fren (like those in the movies) that if he get me, he'll get money!?

haha!! it rhymes! and seriously, i barely know him... talked to him like less than 20 sentences???

so yan, dun blame me for suspecting you. :P sorry ah... i'm still in the old times, thinking girls will be cheated that way... hahahahahaha

but i like oldies. .they're nice.

oh a few days ago i watched 'tang bo hu dian qiu xiang' a stephen chow's movie... on channel 8..my god, i love it soooooo much!!

those were the days!

gotta sleep... and quoting from benjamin button's show, " good night, benjamin (change the name if you want to whoever you want me to say good nite."

and ben, i'm not literally saying that to you and neither i said that while thinking of you. i meant the good night only.. :D

mixed feelings

2009-02-08T16:31:00.002+08:00

this year's Ox Chinese New Year is rather quiet, perhaps it has all to do with the economic crisis. LIfe goes on like a super mundane life with sun being s quiet and nothing to do. of course, i need to do something. and that is to draft out my plan on what to do for this month.

Valentine's Day is coming and to start counting from sec 1, 8 years of lifeless valentines'day had passed, including this year's, it's 9. wow

i wonder if people can stay single for 9 years. hahahaha!!! even my closest friend is off the shelf for now. haha! not saying that it's a temp or a puppy love for her but, i feel that to really lift oneself off the shelf permanently, one would go into a rlship when one is aboutthe age of 25 and above. that kind of rlship would be mutual and long lasting.

but who cares abt that now? esp in a modern society, everyone gets in and out of rlship really fast.

if someone would ask what kind of guys i like, i dunno. seriously i find myself a bit of a contradict. I have always like guys who are intelligent, tall and slim, caring and pleasant looking oh and of course, it would be a bonus if he's lil rich. Dr Gary would be one of them. :P for ur info, he's a chinese, not angmoh but he had a nice english speaking accent. hahahaha!!!

i saw him again when i bought nose spray. he made me fly once again. lol! ok ok,, out of that imagination, now i like middle age guys. and they are not in the category somemore! dumb right??

hes not attractive at all, a plain guy in his 30s and 40s i think, money earned enough for himself and not dashing at all..... intelligence, i guess not so if you think in terms of his job. nah, not going to say what job.

yet everyday, i hope to catch a glimpse of him... of course, it's not going to bear any fruits of relationship. of course, my focus now is VE and studies.... MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!

LIFE keeps on moving, and passes without u knowing....u may be dreading sun but others like the pple in VE are working and earning money and climbing the ladder of fame... i was really inspired by those who went up to get their certs and prizes....but how can i be like them??? i guess i need to come up with plans before i ask mel to hopefully arrange a meeting with those clever pple on how to close deals.....

:D life is _____________. fill it up urself and think abt it!

socially fake

2009-02-01T01:59:00.002+08:00

had countless dreams for the last 2-3 days. it was nice to dream but unsettling. havent got a good sleep after cny day 1. i even dreamt about jumping on some small wooden chair and get floated up, and spinning around. lol! i even dreamt about deb. yes, you know who... talkin to me about baking cookies, which are of the same colours as the paper used to put the cookies. lol!!! i even dreamt of my sociology flown in lecturer, Glenn Dawes. haha! yes, i dreamt abt him showing me his very mini tiny jug filled with magic potion, and when he added a bit to another colour, it disappears like some bubbles popped.

nice. there were more, but i ws too tired to rmb all. anyway, today is the gathering... annual gathering of the badminton khakis of my dad's generation. It was organized by one of the khakis who happened to be an SAF member, or to put it specifically, BG, brigadier General. it's great to have such gathering or party.. well, it was nice becos it faces the sea and you get a great seaview if you were there at around dusk. but we reached there like almost 9. said 'hi' to many senior 'badkhaks' and ate their food. it wasnt good. i merely like the watery hokkien mee and perhaps the humunguous eclair.

then, i said hi to Alice, the one who sold my family RAV4. den, my dad, mom and i talked to another 'BK' called Albert. Tall slim and quite good looking guy. of course, all BK are old enuff to be my dadssss... talked to the 'bk' chairman, Francis. he rmbed alot of their good ol' times and he was funny, kept laughing.

soon, Alice intro-ed me to her son, whom i met only once. And that was the day his father sent my mom and i to the mrt when i sent my car for servicing. tot he was younger than me. haha! and it turned out to be we were both the same age. he was playing mahjong! argh.. why does almost everyone at my age plays mj tht well? He's Matthias (reminds me of that Matthias from cog neuro, kinda missed his cold and eerie jokes. haha!!!) and his sister, jc 1 this year, is called Matthea, the female version. hahaha! according to Alice though. lols!

Saw Xavier, the son of BG. oh my goodness, super emo looking man. the face itself is already a typical emo looking face!!! sharp chin, small round mouth, small eyes and sharp nose. the hair of course, covering almost 80% of the face and goodness gracious, he sounded like one too!!! so soft when he said '1 year old'.

Saw Saunder, same age as me too, is the 2nd son of Francis, the chairman of BK. oh Francis' eldest son is Sebastian from Power 98! hello!! I dunno but Saunder's behaviour does resembles of a very sweet female male?? i dun want to say the 5 lettered word of triple 'S' cos it's too mean to a vry good looking male like him. but i like these kinds of 'sista' haha!! it seems as though you can confide into him almost everything and he can understands you like some good friend. haha!!!

i talked to matthias, wait, is it matthew?? watever... and yes, he studies in TJC and wow, As and Bs are his score. please, someone. can someone just get me out of this whole gathering thing i just agreed to join?!??!! shit!

he's very inquisitive, very knowledgeable, loves to discover things and wow, he speak with confidence and of course, with no air. he's super humble man! he even said, 'pardon me if i'm wrong.' oh my goodness, how good are his manners and his command of ENGLISH!!!

i was feeling so inferior when i spoke to him. plus!!!!! he asked sooooooooooooo much about what i've learnt!!! so paiseh whenever i said 'i forgot'.. ...............damn... he must be thinking, walao, so dumb/ everything you study you forgot. ' to what i assume, it's like forget=lousy in studies.

**** whoever's going to console me over this point, forget it becos it's the truth. i know it's a matter of how well you want to present yourself. well, from now on, i'll try to recall many of the things i've learnt. so at least i wont embarrass myself in front of him and those who sat around to listen.

Right, in case you didnt know, i was shivering, i was stuttering, i was rambling and i did sooo many things to embarrass myself!!! why was i so anxious? why was i shivering until it can be heard in my speech?? why why???

is it becos it's cold there? i lied to pple like my mom and him. was i excited to talk abt the things i know? was it becos there were too much to talk abt psychology until my brain was jammed and nothing good came out, and indirectly caused my brain to go blank>>>????

or perhaps, he's too smart for me to handle and hence felt inferior, shivering in fear when i spoke to him?? or perhaps its the the last alternative that i am reluctant to talk abt. he's too good looking? no no.. it's NOT just good looking ALONE, it's more of goodlooks, smart, confidence, good questions and smiles......... etc... more more. oh, and also he's friendly and amicable to new pple by nature and his dad is close to mine.

sigh, next sat there's another gathering at temasek club...near dover, ayer rajah..... i so dun feel like going...i kinda regretted when i said i'll join the bad gang EVERY SATURDAY.... sian.... go there to play until i stink and not know anyone good enuff to be as my companion....and their so called 2nd gen are playing,,which are so pro. and it could be that the so called 2nd gen are alll so younger than me... SIGH......

when i first talked to her at the gathering, i told her that i enjoy gatherings like today at Changi Cottage, and it's great to have gathering every sat... i merely said it as a sweeping statement, so i can get closer to her, pull closer our relationship and perhaps ask her to get something for her family. but she went around telling that i like gatherings argh! she even told Matthias, that i like gatherings, and said i'm very cute(not looks but as in generally), likes to talk to pple and likes to have grouping blah blah...

i was actually 'faking' it...so i can get into the social setting without feeeling out of place. well for the sake of netwrk, i've chosen the path to talk to pple and socialise...

it's a dilemma i'd say for the path i chose. cos 1 thing i like abt socializing its becos i want to be kept in the loop, i dun want to be left out. but sometimes, i dun like socializing becos i am scared......i dun like the effort of socializing and racking my brains to find topics and elaborate on them.... so tell me what to do man...i can safely say that i'm a person who is of both opp kinds...

such strong contrast of YIN AND YANG.

Good night all, i hope i can cope well with the socialization this coming sat....i need to call Auntie Binder and UncleChiaba. i dislike them...sigh...

facial facade

2009-01-19T21:54:00.002+08:00

today finally went to Mary Chi* to have a facial. it was quite a scary but relaxing experience.

they need to get the pimples out so they need to use the light to to see properly but my eyes were covered by the cotton wool and when the light shone on my face, i saw what bruce almighty had for the env when morgan freeman and jim carrey talked. a very white env. very pure.

but painful because they need to poke open the skin to get the stuff out.

but after that, the person put some lemon grass oil and ampoule solution to disinfect. den ozone was used. after that, mask was put on.before it was really hot and prickly and the mask cools it like water splashed on the water. it was ginseng smell. really really nice

it is really relaxing becos of the cooling and relaxing effect of the mask.

i nearly fell asleep when theperson came in. so sad.

but ovrall. it was a great one.

oh did i mention abt dreaming of Qy's H auditioning me for singing??? oh my. it takes place at my dad's office. there's an assistant beside too. they werent happy with my singing though. :(

SIGHS!

2009-01-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

hmmm the last post was 1st jan...

today, or rather thurs was the end of my paper, 15th jan. just like the chinese's calendar, chu yi shi wu. had my exams on 13,14,15. cog neuro, although was given so outright answers by alvin, i still dunno how to do all the essay questions. sigh...

sensation perception was ok, 120 mcq.

today, i/o psych was borderline too although i kinda had alot to write. but several questions i wasnt quite sure too. sigh sigh sigh....

and mom two days ago was talking to me that if psych got job prospect or not. and both of us were hesitating to even continue my 4th year or not. i know very well that i cannot get into hons oready. pgd is an alternative, but who would want that after suffering for2 years almost 3 years??? i am even going to spend another 1600++ to pay to study again for my lousy scored stats.i din fail of course. but sigh.......

i keep pondering on this qn for the past two days. and a sudden blitz by smita's bloody email abt the essay marks shot me down with more bullets. sigh...........

i know by now or even earlier, you would have stopped reading becos this is such a sad post. ik now of course, veryfew as many as 1 person would read abt my blog...so, well...heck care, just sigh my way la..

yes, i think i may be contracting depression...its a sooner or later issue. i really dunno what to do man. all my life, i've been exposed more to studies...and so little of work

and even during the period i worked, i wished i could go back to school to study...sigh...now i'm going to be an adult soon, turning twenty ONE on labour day, i so dun want to face this cruel fact that i'm soon entering adult stage.

transition is such an unapproachable subject to raise. Counsellors do counsel or help the person to transition. but i guess y ou need to be open to this idea first, before you do any action.

life sux.

i ...

ok, lets talk abt others.. anyway, today wisnu din come for the io psych exam.. i wonder what is he up to.. sigh, seeing him wasting his life away really hurts my heart. i've never got a friend like him before man..esp when we were once best friends with qy..

after exam, left school at abt 5 like that and along the way before the road leads to balestier, i saw Wisnu, and two of his... 'lousy' friends.. i wonder why. wisnu ah wisnu, wake up!

ok...i gotta sleep now. oh ya....one more, i dreamt abt some examination room before i had my wed paper. oh my...i guess i am really afraid of exams.. another sigh
shall write off my entry...

good nite!

goodbye 2008 and seriously, not very welcoming 2009

2009-01-01T18:57:00.003+08:00

Good bye my love, 我的 2 0 0 8 年。

good bye my year, let's welcome 新的一年

我要抛开去年，忘了那不美的景

从新再来新的一年。

yes, today is the first day of 2009 and yesterday was the last day of 2008.

what a wierd transitional feeling i got. yesterday heard the song 如果还有明天 by 赖铭伟
a taiwanese singer that became famous on the tv show星光大道.

my love for him grew more when i hear mroe of his songs. not love for him like that kind but...oh yes.. admiration is the word. i very much admire his attractive voice and his personality. his friend 萧敬藤 i think it's spelt like this, and him had some sort of vs. on 小S 康熙来了. both of their voices are like the best so far i've heard of any taiwanese singers... i guess..

really like both of them. i cant imagine the latter is 21 only?!?! perhaps he's already 22 now. my gawd! so young! what am i doing here and doing now?!

i am really into music. but i guess no one actually approved of me to take up any lessons. watching how the latter play the keyboard on the latter show of e song one night in beijing, i am super amazed!!!

goodess!! and they're good at playing AND singing! that's tough! is there no other places cheaper than lee wei song school of music to learn such stuff??

oh, i'm thinking of finding out who would hire me to sing. :P:P:P!!!
tsk tsk! i know i'm being thick face..but den i dunno where i can release my love to sing!!!

singapore only sing eng songs, rarely i heard of anyone singing chinese songs. ahhaha!

well i'm more into eng songs rather than chinese. as for chinese songs, i need to listen more and of course, of quality singers of good melody. :D i'm know quite many songs of eng...but just dunno how to sing... some one intro me to a pub or lounge to sing eh.. hahah!!!

童星 ,释小龙和郝劭文

2008-12-30T00:33:00.003+08:00

* Gasps!!!*

i cant imagine catching the show 康熙来了! guess who are the star guests today???

i'm soo excited now!! they are my all time fav 童星 ,释小龙和郝劭文！！！

i've always loved to watch these two boys' show when i was young! their shows are cute, hilarious, action packed and more!!!

if you were to ask me to watch those old shows or movies again, flood me with them!

it's always shi xiao long, a.k.a. Ashton Chen (just found out) that i'm fascinated by! he's smart, cute and a kungfu expert at such young age! i loved him for his cute little face!

Now that he's older, he's got a really sturdy body side and still that boyish yet adult face. he's grown from a cute boy to a handsome fine man. he's got slightly long hair now. i would still prefer his short and forehead-showing hairstyle. he looks smarter than his emo hairstyle which i tot would be better if its tidied, and more moisturized. :)

he's really good looking...so please stay away from him!!

haha!!!

right...me and my fascinations. I'm joking abt the staying away from him. but seriously, i did get swayed a lil. i even thought of going to learn kung fu. the shaolin set up by his granddads had accomodation and just pay money can learn kungfu le...

wow...a person who doesnt exercise at all like me to go shaolin temple to learn kungfu? i dun think i can survive the first day man! hahaha!!!

i'm loving Sundays!

2008-12-28T14:34:00.005+08:00

ah.... today is such a beautiful sunday!

i had my shower and washed my hair with Asience nice frangrant shampoo, i felt oh so nice!

although i had cramps, but after putting heater pad on my tummy and nap for about 20-25 mins, i woke up feeling the sun light so inviting.

Doing my homework infront of the computer had never felt that great before, especially with the sun peeking through my laced curtain down on my keyboard!

oh, and i can smell the aroma slowly rolling in and seeping through openings in my room. it is the the smell of turkey and ham! yes, i feel as if i am some little girl in a cottage, doing what i like, and when detect the aroma coming from the kitchen, stop what she's doing and ran into the kitchen and check out the yummy food!

我觉得我很幸福！ i'm blessed. :D

i'm loving sundays!

2008-12-21T22:02:00.003+08:00

today went to meet up my primary school friends. Felt super super wierd! I hate e feeling. Cos wad i spoke, pple seems to .give me e 'er, ok..... :-s'
But we went settler's cafe and played games like ugly doll and quelf. I dun like quelf cos it embarrasses oneself. Esp me, i felt like i was e stupid one. Not tat i am doing more stupid moves than them but i am always e one who cant think. :-( oh wells, those who came are: gabriella, ching li, jessica, ivon, berlin, fang you, yixi,glenn, erick,kenneth,kewei,jianheng.

christmas carnival!!

2008-12-21T00:45:00.002+08:00

wow. today 20th was the school's carnival and boy! it was a fun saturday!

i went to school for cog neuro and yeap, we had our brak at 11 and for 30 mins instead of the usual 10-15 mins! woohoO! they sold food but it was very little and not fulfillng. still i like the crispy fried spring roll by the canteen aunties. :D:D
They have people coming in to sell candies and cookies in super super nice packagings and they even had those hamper like sugar coated chocolate cookies?? i dunno but it looked real tempting to buy and eat theM!

Previously, Qy and I sort of talked abt the girl in the biz class she was in with. the girl who is swedish but a mixed. the girl who looked oh so lovely with cute curly long hair. she's petite! she and her gang of ang moh friends set up a stall too, selling their home made cookies, choco, breads and even...biscotta? i cant recall the name.. it was nicely decorated and packaged... even they themselves were in very nice film sequined, christmas designed black Tee! nice! it's really nice and i'd say they have designer brain?? loL!!

anyway, Alvin bought like $100 coupons?? my goodness. he wont be able to finish! haha!! but anyway, i bought my own, $10. so we as in Alvin and ourselves(students) gathered to eat and talked. i really like that idea, :D.

during lunch. at around 1.30, we went out to eat spring roll again. as well as tching tng. Siti bought a cookie from the ang moh girls' stall and we wanted ask if the marble cake was nice, the curly haired girl offered us the tester. :D

nice....and i mean her. she's pretty with really nice skin complexion! i thought her voice would be kinda sweet. but hurhurhur! she had a rather cool and tomboyish voice!!! haha! it's rather...cool and attractive. :D no no.. i no lesbian.
she's got the style!

Then, Siti and i met Concetta!!! oh my, she's in skirt!? and she's wearing heels. :D she did this hug with kissing as a form polite greeting with Siti. i thought that meant as 'long time no see, let's hug'that kind of meaning??

but after that, i stoned there. She finished and she looked at me and came forward. oops!! ok... i should know that the meaning i tot was a wrong one.. hehe!! so i just do the same.. :P

i duno how! but i just be a ccopycat then! hahahahahaha it's my first time doing this kind of greeting! oh my god!! i couldnt believe! she smells quite nice and her hair was plastic like..hahahaha!
cos of the spray or cream she used for her curls. :D

right, we saw Deborah Hazel with this part time 4th year student sitting tgt.... apparently she left early for lecture just to be at the carnival, with him? he's Wayne?Dwayne?? dun care la

den, guess who i saw when we were going back to class? Robyn Youie!! my psychopathology tutor! NIce!!! She brought her whole family to the carnival! 1 oldest son, eh..forgot name liao.. nathaN? 2 younger daughthers, natalie and ....i cant rmb.. she intro-ed me as what i am related to her... like some adult to adult. haha¬!! nice parental teaching. but she apparently forgot abt her husband who was standing behind her. haha!
but her husband sounds nice. a really nice nice family!!!

after school, well school apparently ended really early today. cos it's supposed to be a Free and Easy tutorial but becos both of us didnt bring laptop, a wonderful day that we both din !!! woohoo! haha!! so we had to go home. I saw many pple gathered around the dunking machine!!
Guess who's on the platform!!!???

Frankie Yee! LOL! it's funny how he fell into the water! hahaha! everyone was happy and they clapped becos the one throwing the ball had quite a few tries before Frankie was dunked! hahaha!

Then guess who i saw again!!??! Ching!!! I asked him why wasnt he on the dunking machine and he said,'no, why? you really want me to be there? ' i of course, said nah,. no money too. haha!

he sounded as if he's willing to be there on the dunking machine for me.. hahaha!! no la... i'm sure he's doing for charity. it's $5 per game. i spent them all on food! nice chap there. :D
oh , he always asked me if i'm going home.. and he asked like 2-3 times when i bid goodbye to him at the carnival. haha!! i wonder what he's thinking abt.

Right. the choco late i bought in the end with Alvin's 1dollar broke one of my brace!! damn it!! argh!!! Their silvery coated sugar sweet on the small chocoloate cookies were the hardest sweet i've ever eateN!! darn! i din know man! i heard crack only...so i tot itw as the sweet that had cracked. i'm so gonna make the dentist angry with me.. tell me what reason i should give! hahaha!

ok...those who missed out on the carnival, you are so losing out on the happy saturday feeling!
seriously! it's never been such a wonderful happy saturday to me before! it's so different from a saturday where you go out with your friends. i guess its the PEOPLE and the activities they are doing that makes the whole atmosphere a joyous and a celebrating one!!!

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year 2009!!!

reality vs surreality???

2008-12-14T17:14:00.002+08:00

will be having a class gathering on 26, a day before presentation abt dyslexia for cog neuro.

i should go despite the imminent presentation that i always perform badly becos two times or 3 times of the gathering i wasn't there at all. i must be there somehow. although i dun really talk to them...i guess i need to show my face to let them know i exist. hahahaha

hv been slacking. and i need to increase my speed .that is not to be in a daze..... dunno why my eyes cloud..and i need to do that cartoon action of shaking my head to bring me back to reality.

i need to get this sem over and done with and start planning what to do .

it's still abt me!

2008-12-13T20:14:00.003+08:00

Finally, i heaved a sigh of relief. my I/O psych essay finally done! although i was late by a 1 mins.. i'm glad that it was done. now looking at my time tables, i realised that i aint got much time left to study for the revision part. plus 2 presentations an 1 essay coming along. on and 1 www to be done. i guess i'm giving up on chasing another sales for this last month. sigh.. i dunno how am i going to finish all up!

and while i'm browsing thru fb, i realised that the debators or rather just the 4 who are often in contact with each other met up. i guess i wasnt their kind, so i wasnt called. despite telling 2 of the frens to call me when they are meeting up. but i guess i shall just give up this frenship i have with them. why reciprocate when they dun even care abt ur existence?? but i'd say i treasure those days with them. it was pure fun. but now that everyone's 'growing' up, i shall put my focus on older pple to gain maturity and see thru these obstacles i face in life. or rather..obstacles related to frenship.

how funny to talk abt group cohesion for my I/O psych when i sucks at doing and understanding that!

well, was it becos of a stupid joke that made them thought i am still holding on? damn no! i guess the reason goes back to the post before this. its all abt me.

today Alvin and Ian were funny. esp Ian cos he talked abt a peson with IV drip goes to sky dive to get their 'natural form of euthanasia'. MeiLing brought this up, so we kinda link link link and to choice of death. LOL!
Alvin was laughing his head off. as for me? my lips off.. they hurt!!! ouch*

yeah..den talk abt Ian leaving Lyn alone, and returning her to him next sat.. but Alvin din want to keep her that long. so Ian suggested to put her at post office in a box or something like that?

hahahah!! it was funny!! and it's not in joking manner you know???? it was like plain talking, seriously too! hahah!!! you can imagine how funny and popular a guy can be!?!?

but i'd say mean la.. poor lyn. they were so evil!! lol! but all are pure fun. that's what i like to enjoy in a school in a friendship, in life... in everything we do!!

i guess i'm deprived of social life. can someone even suggest to me what to do to spice up my social life?? i need to know more frens.

as for talking abt guys,, or reincarnating into a guy next life.. i shall continue when there's a chance. dun wanna bore readers(if theres any). :D

not abt me or abt me??

2008-12-12T22:53:00.005+08:00

Read my friend's blog again, after like so many months.. 1 year later.. dating back from jun 07.

i guess i wasnt that significant as a friend to him as compared to other friends he had and yes of course i know that.

those who really knows me, must have guessed that i aint got many frens. hmmm.

i do not even dare to hope that he'll treat me as some good fren..but just normal friend. but i guessed it was lesser than a normal one. i read back and he said he missed his frens...and i read twice..no mention of my name.
ah wells, at least i'm a lil' glad that he had my link to my blog on his page. i should be contented, i guess. :S

i guess i wasnt open enough when i'm with my group of frens. but seriously, do you know why?? do you know why i wasnt open when i'm with them but yet so open with my other group of friends?? becos they are different. they are my best groupss but i'd say i'm closer to jcu ones. i'm happy that i've got qy, annie, jessie and wisnu. well, wisnu drifted. sad...

they are nice to me. eh./.. i hope i'm good to them too. i hope i have brought joy to them...but they said that i'm boring.. too serious.. am i? i guess on both occasion i was tired and i cant speak due to lip inflammation. but how bout other times?? i guess i paled in comparison to jessie and qy when it comes to jokes.. i can only laugh my brains out..no contribution.. ok ok.. i'll try my best.

so what abt other groups?

i guess they are too matured for me. is it?? well it's ok that they are matured... i should be matured too cos afterall i'm 20 already... the numbah 2 is out! damn. but i guess my foundation that i've built with them was too careful...untill a barrier was formed between me and them.( eng: they and me ?? iono) yes.. i was too careful with words, in fear that i'll speak the wrogn words at the wrong time, dampening the spirits. i guess i always do that. when i can wisen up???
yes..too careful until i dare not speak... thus, making myself the odd one out among the chatty ones. well all are very interactive, except for me.

i guess i'm always the extra one. and i'm glad that they still ask me out occasionally. :) yes.. not all the time and that i've known it long ago.

oh and also, grades?? and personality plays a part?? man, i feel like i'm writing another essay. but nevertheless, essays like these are never tiring or irritating becos no reference needed but just jotting down what i think and feel...which my brain offers its juice readily like a woman to a man. or the man to the woman, if the woman is evil. MUAHAHA. ok... back to reality.

oh...just a note, i realised that i like to day dream alot. when writing lab report or essay gets too boring for me and i can squeeze any more juice out of that dried up brain, i start to fantasize 'ifs' scenarios. nothing dirty nothing wierd.. but normal. :D

yeah grades, i guess i was the dumbest. but ..hmm to recall, that is not really the factor, but rather..yes.. back to square one, openness---personality. i am not like my other fren, who is also part of the group( but not hanging out that kind.. but just talking part), speaking what i feel like saying and laughing.
i laugh too when i speak..but the questions and words that came out carried a tone of cautious. and yes.. they are dumb too. i guess i wasnt racking my brain enough to talk abt topics we can talk abt. seriously, the things they talk abt were things i dun dabble in. i guess both were in the big schools and the env is so much diff from mine..so there's a common topic. and becos

they are close already, they can talk more abt things they'd shared. so the theory here kind of resembles 'the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer'.

still rmbing that time, for SS1112 i think..when i teamed up with Sam and Lyn, we were supposed to talk abt issues that are assigned.. they are general i guess but such a focused generality??

twice i thnk, my fren cried cos the topic touched that raw nerve. and once my other friend was talking abt her fears that she really dunno what to do. anyway.. i interviewed the latter and i was soo embarrasssed becos i dunno what to ask as an interviewer, esp when she needed one the most at that time. Sorry Sam and Lyn.(dun bother to figure which one was the latter. :P)
yes ..and for me... the first time i broke down when i talked abt the issue of 'friends'.

damn it, i duno why from that time onwards, whenever i read abt or hear or see anything abt my group of friends, eh.. i guess without me in the pic, i kinda get really sad?? i get really to the brink of a cup full of water. seriously, previously when i hadnt talked abt this, i was fine... sad but not that sad.. just, 'ok...' fullstop. now, i get soooooooooo sensitive!!! i should stop these whining cries wannabe.

i must be strong. talking abt strong, should girls be that strong. ok this is another issue.
should i be that strong? until guys leave me so far away? i guess i'm too independent, until guys feel as if they shouldnt even need to help me when i thought they could. help i guess, showing off their masculinity. e.g. like helping me to refill a cup of water. hmm i guess i was brought up such taht i do all things by myself. so i dun dare to even ask a guy...and even girls to help me to do anything. i feel really bad if i asked. cos i dunno how much of 'thank you' i should say to show my gratitude for their effort!

you know what?? i really mean it when i say thank you. unlike some 'thank you' i felt from others.
well. perhaps they meant it from their heart too. but it's just that it's expressed differently. I gauged too much i supposed.. i think for pple too much.
self- imposing on my freedom so much that i am too scared to venture out of my comfort zone. when can i learn to let go of that lifebuoy? i know i can swim but why am i still feeling insecure?

i need to be challenged but why cant i accept it with open arms? i guess what i'm doing now is doing what i know i should do to self-improve. am i doing what i like?? i'm a mixed person

i like challenges but scared to accept it. i guess i mustnt know that i'm accepting a challenge. if not.. i'll know that i'm threading on one.

model of the day. LOL!

2008-12-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

yesterday had my lips all swollen and peeling and guess what? had a wedding dinner to attend too!!

so i wore a really pretty dress..but i had to run across the road back to home cos my dad wants to eat..and we are running late..
den one guy from the pau shop said, 'wear so pretty dun run, will fall down.' so sweet right? but before that.. when i came down from my house to the carpark, he asked, 'wah wear so nice, where are you going?' cos my lips were swollen, so i just smiled back. that was sweet dude! i was happy.

at the dinner, i felt i was like a model lor.. tsktsk! muahaha!! ok! dun laugh!! cos you know why? all are malaysians, and girls there are not as tall as me when wear high heels. i was wearing high heels la.. haha. so i felt i was tall.. hmm.. in fact i felt as if i was that talll without the heels!

so i strut with large model like steps back from toilet to my seat. woohoo..
and i did that way when i left the place ...wow!!

a model for a day. ;)

Flying away

2008-12-05T23:05:00.008+08:00

dam n damn!! i accidentally deleted my post!!!!!!!!! argh!!!

ok. i was expressing how happy am i and how grateful am i to Jo cos she invited me too to join her, hs, ws and yh....plus her 2 other gfs to Harry's Bar at Novena sq!

i lamented how close it was and yet so far cos i could just walked to it and enjoy
but i got work to do.. guilty for rejecting her invitation.

den i talked abt Alvin, cos today talked to him tgt with esther and veronica. i like his knowledge, his humour and how confident he carried himself..
plus his voice and accent that made him so westernised..so english. so high class? reminds of a rich english educated family background. like those rich girl who speaks with accent and so popular.. etc..

den finally saw wisnu in class.. sad case la.. he s tarted smoking after breaking up with his gf..

*so sad, so sad... sorry seems to be the hardest word*

Yesterday ate pepper lunch... the beef slice with hamburger patty. woah! it was delicious man! i love it. and guess what? the place my mom and bro and me sat wass just beside the stage where the the kids central show THE WINX CLUB girls were performing!! oh my goodness!! They were sooooo pretty!
even more pretty when they changed into their winx costume.. those with wings?? oh my... it's just soooooooo pretty!!! of course all are beauties too!
after the show... i was so fascinated with Winx and i felt light headed.. felt as if i was part of the Winx club... flying off !

MEN- ironic yet the same

2008-11-30T12:34:00.004+08:00

I really wonder if i will be left on the shelf. i guess i'm going to be...judging from my temper, my very brute actions, and my thoughts about some men.

i'd say men now.. and not guys becos... guys are cool and men.... there's two meaning to it.

1- men are those who are matured and stable in income and being very gentleman.

2- jerks. they are childish and they are cheap. they drool over sexy ladies and can even turn offensive to people whom he don't know. it's as if they havent seen a sexy lady before.

please la! so 白痴for what? it's like as if that sexy lady is the only one he's ever seen in his life. and wish to appear nice to her and treating her like some goddess. social psychology kicks in now.

yeah i know who doesnt like those pretty people or beautiful people to befriend with theM? i know it's like some kind of 'privilege' to be with the cool and special and attractive people. i am one of them too.

just like making comments on fb on my friend's profile. i put a comment trying to say that she's beautiful ( 1- to really state what i sincerely meant, that is she is beautiful. 2- perhaps i do have a hint of wanting her to notice me and make me feel as if i have a friend who is beautiful.)
but this a**hol*, said, 'dont listen to her'.

i mean, it's is a subjective thing right?? i may think that her pic from this angle looked like some taiwanese star and that bloody a** may think she's eurasian like. there's no wrong right? both meant the same thing---that she's beautiful.

see how childish and narrow his sight is!? damn it. see what i mean? it's a subjective thing. why would he just put people down like that? just to get a 'nod' from the beauty goddess? that satisfy your lust only. and that could lead to being some pervertic characteristics man....

sad to hear such comment coming out from Singapore men. .sighh.. i thought singapore men are much higher class than that... my view of singaporeans has degraded...

privacy? i did respect

2008-11-29T21:00:00.002+08:00

i never talked to qy for such a long time oready... instead. we talk only in class about work.

sigh.. we no longer can meet uup that often oready to have some kind of heart to heart talk..

anyway... kinda felt sad cos someone blocked me from reading his posts. and just to clear up and misunderstandings, no i never talked abt my fren in front of my fren qy or anyone.

oh, i just realised that B/O psych is now 9th dec not 29th dec.. so i gotta write now...

2008-11-27T17:56:00.005+08:00

Recruited Ben and Janice for VE... Ben was good.. he chionged and was confident. he was pro active and i am glad.. Thus, he became my motivator instead of the other way round that was supposed to be the correct way. haha!!! Wel that happened to me and melissa was great in motivating. anyway.. i've got ideas to who to approach.. but yeah.. after having Ben as my downline, i became not so reliant on melissa and ..the result??
slacker! But i'm taking sort of 'tips' from ben in being enthu and be confident. Thank mr. Ben. hahah!!

As for Janice... she expressed enthusiasm for it and she was discussing how she saw the difference between VE and other companies she went to and listened. BUt the prob is her parents becos they rejected.. or rather.. her parents and the elders rejected to this idea of network marketing.

i mean... which company dont do that? it's about networking and which company doesnt do that man? you need network to expand your company's name and hopefully get more biz..

and TELL ME WHICH company doesnt do sales?? TELL ME DAMN IT!!!

tell me if those selling giordano.. or sell handphone, or singtel.. or any promotional roadshow etc.. got sales or not...

it's stilll that bl***y H*ll word 'sales'....

tell me if relationship is impt for any biz... that time when i was working at Zara, i had to smile and be super ridiculously courteous to customers.. why??

so that they will feel welcomed and happy and hopefully come back to buy more... is not that sales technique too???

Chinese, Indian Malay, Eurasian etc.. all do biz with the 2 elements-- relationship (network) and Sales.

If not.. tell me how you do biz... all biz models are dead.. how it will work or how successfully it will work all depends on us.. human brains to be flexible to make it work.

of course, experience, skills, knowledge.....(KSAO-- in behaviour in organisation modules-- it means what i mentioned earlier plus ability for A)

so yeah experience does count.. tell me how you accumulate experience?

that means if you do something good, you know it's the way to do it e next time you do it again.

If it's bad, take it as a lesson learnt. and perhaps became shy or scared of it when it's presented to you again.

But if i present something to you that is almost the same.. with a slight difference of e biz model and good products... and so many successful people or example are generated by this biz model to show you... would you still consider it?

Would you consider it, if you were to compare your 'fixed salary-- no matter how hard you work your ass off' biz model against this biz model that will give you the salary that reflects how much hard work you put in?

in another words, would you consider this biz model that applies Equity Theory and Expectancy Theory rather than considering a biz model that don't quite give your equal payment? an example below to illustrate the 2 theories

Equity Theory

One would emphasise on the value ( what you value most-- aka salary, bonuses, incentives etc.) more than need ( you work becos you want to upgrade your skills, to protect your rice bowl..provide your maily with money etc.)

BUt that's secondary... what is primary is what you face at work. That is how the pay you're getting is worth how much of effort you've put in.
If you slogging your life, everyday worry how to save money for the company, or (whatever you wanna put to show you're giving alot of effort) what, and yet you're getting $1000 only, would you wanna continue your effort despite other colleagues are getting the same amt of $$ but are slacking away? or even worst, slacking and gettin more than you like even a difference of $50!

Equity Theory is based on premises that people prefer fairness or justice in relationship with people and in organization. That will result in change in behaviour that is initiated, directed and maintained---so to preserve internal psychological balance.

Expectancy Theory

Consists of VIE-- Valency, Instrumentality and Expectancy.

Expectancy--You 'believe' that if you put 10 units of effort in, you will get a desired or 10 units of desired performance.

Instrumentality-- perceived relationship between performance and the likelihood that a certain outcome will result (or e likelihood score you will get when 'judged' after putting much effort)

Valency-- Value( incentive, money, rewards. etc), level of derived satisfaction derived from outcome.

You may say risks here.. risks there.. but that's what make up experience.. you learn how to avoid or even best, tackle them and pass your knowledge on to whoever might be in the same situation... You may face embarassment or rejections but that's how make us grow man!

Imagine yourself working at office from 9-5, doing the same job with little interaction with people outside of the world, and compare yourself with someone who everyday go out to the world to meet people and understand more abt human action reactions, and abt inter-relationships...as well as creating happiness for people who are using the prod.

ok.. i guess i shant talk more abt it becos i supposed to do my homework!!!

Oh, qy.. who are you talking abt in your 2nd last post?? a new love?? hahaha!!!

2008-11-17T22:26:00.002+08:00

my dear fren Mark told me afew days ago that Zac Efron is gay!!!

oh my god.. so hurt! how can such a guy that no one would want to lose, be a gay!??!!

logic so twisted.

genetics and env all comes into play and that is pathetic.

vanessa hudgens is his gf..yeah... paid-to-be-gf!!! darn

can someone heal my heart?!

Declan has become once again, my love.. becos i went to watch his youtube videos again!! my god!

talking abt songs, becos HSM3 song kept playing on the radio, i got addicted to it and dl-ed the song 'Now or Never' but... i want the radio versioN!! i love the heavy breathing and coughing sound of Zac amidst the song!!! makes me go crazy. oh my goodness!!

ok... head A-Ha's song 'take on me' on the laptop that was displayed for sale at Harvey Norman in Square 2 novena. oh my goodness.. i was ecstatic when i heard that!! i never thought anyone in singapore would put that song on laptop display!!

I'm so touched!!! this song is soo valued!!

2008-11-12T22:02:00.002+08:00

watched Quantum of Solace last week with my friend and it was wonderful!!! The excitement you receive again and again makes you wanna watch it again!

the first part of the show already had you feeling awed and you would say, that wouldnt end there!

so there come another one with James falling with a guy onto the glass building and struggling to kill the other person.

After that, i thought, this show shouldnt end That early!

and so, there were i think 4 peaks! to keep your appetite there! i would give it a 4.5 out of 5!

THE other 0.5 is becos the setting for the sex scene of James and the girl from BI was soooo unnatural!

Tere's no foreplay and i know it's against some M18 or something but there's really and i mean really no foreplay!

and the story wasnt that clear cut becos i dun quite get the biz the nemesis of James is talking abt.

but overall the stunts were great!

so go watch it!

i've yet to watch high school musical3!!! i love Zac Efron!!! His eyes attract me!! i love his smile toO!!!

looking forward to it!!!!!

2008-11-10T23:32:00.002+08:00

yoz.. it's yeelee in da house.

ok..my name sucked when placed up there.

oh my goodness..i forgot that i supposed to read up on Behviour in Org notes!! i need to give reply to my fren as to what to take up for presentation!!!

damn!

i guess tmr's all abt that...for breaks...damn... darn facebook for making me feel so hooked on to it.

ok...today rained and jcu student lounge was flooded. not that high as what you had in mind but yeah...water flowing from aircon and seeped thru to the other room--computer room and printers. that's so sucky. the rain strucked that area really fast and hard...

eh...went to the dentist today..and now i was reading my fren's blog

becos my fren's post was rather 'cheem' so i don't really know what my fren meant..

so...and oh. i assumed that my fren had kinda read my blog? did my fren do that?? i dono...seriously

but it sounds like my friend did.. .becos of this sentence.. 'How would it be to have someone who knows all about you, and realize you know nothing about him/her at the end of the day?'

that's kinda ...you knw... resembling whati tot ws me...and my fren talked abt 'disturbed psychology and untamed psychology.'

sounds like me isnt it? haha

ok.. i gues i shant make any wild guesses... be contented with life and move on with studies that sucked big time.

2008-11-07T11:25:00.005+08:00

Quoting from my friend's blog, "Sometimes I feel confident and attempt to push it a little further. I say silly things in an attempt to flirt with her, hoping that maybe I could charm or trick her into liking me."

Upon reading my fren's blog tat is updated consecutively( normally takes months to write one)this time, I realised that my friend is so troubled by this issue that is the considered the world's most unsolvable problem.

i guess i can say to my fren that, 'rest assured, many people experiences this. Perhaps your love luck is not here yet?' OR
'this is part and parcel of love and to experience these give you an outlook of different people living in this world and you may need to find out solution to every problems every now and then, so don't give up!'

I don't know. I've been treating my fren like my good fren, although i seldom talk to my fren. i guess i know i am not my fren's good fren or close fren or watsoever... but i really hope that ican reach out to my fren so my fren would not feel so lousy. i hope i can lend a listening ear and i guess exude my psychological instinct and to apply what i've learnt.

but,my fren being an introvert(i guess), i need to be more sensitive to my fren. There was once when i talk abt whether my fren is in relationship, my fren kept me suspended and i guess i went a little overboard to ask more about it. it's obvious that my fren din want me to know but i guess i was acting like some smart alec. damn!

but but, i really have NO means of prying into my fren's private life but i tot i could help.
i am sure that it has to do with his ego and id and superego. ego in this case is not the ego but according to Freud, my fren could be suppressed or rather...fixated at certain psychosexual stage.
if not my fren would not feel so inconfident.

my fren, dont hesitate to share your burden and see if i can help you out!

2008-11-06T10:16:00.002+08:00

Right...just saw the estudent and there...that significant word ... is there and it is so irking that my heart hurts thru the eyes. (it refers to how the letter is reflected into my eyes and into the optic nerves to brain and heart; human sensation and perception.)

sigh...

anyway... was and am happy that Obama won the election for the presidency! yeah!!! he's all over the pages and tvs and internet news!
Never in our lives, never in the history where a black is so celebrated acrossed the world. not even those from the poorer countries. vietnam i think was also celebrating.

He can be seen as the savior of Mankind, the one who holds the key to the problems that are all so troubling. Be it economy, racial issues, nation with nation issues, poverty etc... he seems to have those policies in his hands to solve 'em.

Not to say he's equivalent to Jesus or whatsoever, but perhaps instead of just praying, action is the most practical and he himself presenting those policies during his election showed his determination, his intelligence and his practicality take on the world's failing economy.

There's so much to do now. of course, the most disastrous and the most tackling issue is the economy. 1st runner up would then be the poverty?? i guess? and then the environment, need to do something to the drastic and quick change of the climate due to industrialisation and globalisation. (as for the elaboration, im sure it's quite common sense to link many of the things we use and see and hear..etc together)

what else does Barack Obama need to do? I'm surre there are much in his list. He knows what he is doing and we of course put our heart at ease when he takes over next year jan... is it 21st? cant rmb. he is one charismatic leader. his voice is so attractive and yet assuring. you can be assure of many things when he speaks out your heart thru his calming tone of voice.

But once again, though we may put our stones that are on our hearts down, leave a little to balance just in case.... we have the history as a form of guidance to the things the ex-US presidents had done. I'm not saying that Obama might wreck the globalisation scale but, dont you people out there see that we are putting too much of our hearts down when president George Bush was the president? we are kind of blindfolded or brain washed when Bush agreed to have that Iraqi war? perhaps there's more than it meets the eye so i cant really comment on that but i guess Democracy should come in earlier to stop the tragedy.

I havent read up on the history of US's presidency, which i know i am going to forget and not care abt it, so taking president George Bush as the example may be too extreme. Hopefully when Obama takes over, the people can look clearly at the things he will do and to think of long term changes that might affect the world.

2008-11-05T23:09:00.003+08:00

there's so much to blog about but i kind of forgot. anyway, i got news that jemie and yeeteng passed their stats with D. or rather ..jemie got D

and when i checked the estudent, there isnt any news yet...darn.

i'm been feeling really not inspired to do anything nowadays. especially when i'm taking cog neuro on a SAT morning till afternoon!?

i got time you see...and i know i should make good use of it ...but i feel so not like doing anything.. and i still feel like i'm on holiday. haha!!

oh and i learnt to bake egg tarts! i olso made some cookies of cereal,walnut and orange peel. people who tested them liked 'em! hahaha!

will be in the same class of behaviour in org with wisnu and qy. yeah!

annie and jessie..i guess tey;re not taking sensation le bah... never see them in lect 2... put me pigeon. fang wo ge zi.

but nevermind....anyway... met ching on last fri at student lounge and cool to sit infront of him haha! but i was sure that i was studying very studiously. bbut distracted due to the coldness

hhah!

saw Richard, one chinese guy who take French. he looked so much like taiwanese show 'The Golden Ferris Wheel" the guy called chong wen.

He's quite nice looking :)

there's quite alot of good looking guys in school so.. that somehow improved my boring days alittle. haha!

oh qy! dont forget to gossip that matter with me!

2008-10-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

oh...k. went to eat kuishin bo at Jurong point with Louis qy and esther. and Samantha. a new girl i just met, but she has been studying in jcu for a long time, before my batch...yet i dunno her!?

ok.. she's funny. and she's quite a pleasant girl to talk to. she got things to talk to qy... somehow.. for me.. i guess it's me la. qy talks to anyone. so envious of her. she dares to speak i guess.. i got some reservations.. dunno why...i know i'll speak dumb stuff i guess.

and it was 32 dollars!!!! bloody expensive! darn
whoever asks me to go eat those expensive food, leave me out. sian.. i dun eat seafood and to go for tht kind of buffet is so not fair to me. Rather QY got a very very good deal out of it! hahaha! she ate a lot of seafood. damn.. i wish i know how to eat. anyway.. the desserts were very disappointing. i tot they looked good but argh.. F grade for the desserts.

Right...
did the survey compilation for ve.. and i took a super long time.. sadly. i need to call the picture works company tmr.. i need to work..i wasted 1 week...

and left... which means bad things, i know my stats results already

and it was far far far below what i expected. i guess i need to email my 'associate Dean', whom i dunno who exactly. i need to find out that too. darn.. i want to retake my module. i insist
if i can.. if not... i'll just have to stick with that and do better in others..sad sad sad

darn.. ok,.. i guess you dun ahve to read one cos i'll be cursing and swearing everything and anything.

do i look sociable? i thought i wasnt.. thanks AiNi for having that perception of me. i'm flattered. :D

anyway.. human is a wierd live.. i thought i'd rather be something else... but to think abt it.. it's not as enjoyable as human.. but if i were to be reincarnated, i'd rather be a male. becos ...hmm.. i cant think now. but i guess it's not as spending that much money as compared to girls.. and guys dun get to be at the disadvantage when it comes to walking alone on the dark streets.. at least you fight back.. girls... dragged and kena rape.. soooo bo hua. not worth it!

plus guuys you get to make the move if you like that girl unlike girls.. if you make the move, for me i'll view that as a little bit open.. etc..
etc etc... there are more.. of course.. i cant emphasis anymore...ask me if you want to know what i think. cos it's a long list.

jlzyandmzandbl@hotmail.com. to ask. :D

2008-10-12T22:49:00.003+08:00

life has been a... rush for me during the exam week. was cramming everythin into a six day rvision for about 3 subjects... 8 days for stats.. 4 days for learning and 5-6 days for psycho.
and to sum for principles of counselling, it's 1 day.. i supposed to have 3 days for counselling but dam stats pushed everything backward!!!

so ya.. screwed up for counsellng and learning.. stats too..
Thanks Aini anyway. :)

Going to meet jessie anni qy for jap food tmr.. at marina sq. YEAH!! wear nice nice... eat nice nice and look at pple who are nice nice....looking! :P

ok enough of my infatuation. i need to find job soon.. but i hate to be involved in one... cos.......well.. iono..

anyway.. i think i can go for the jap buffet* again* with you qy and esther and louis.. it's time for us to meet up too.. want to thank louis for his effort.. hehehe!!

Then, recently.. or rather.. on the day of psychop. exam, i was running late and i decided to drive. so i had to walk from the bus stop back to my car. so coincidentally i met this guy from the bao shop below my house. he's in his.. er lets say mid thirties. ya.. he kinda got a very sunny smile that i like. :) and he smiled from ear to ear when he saw me.. :D

he's kinda cute i think..but heys... he works in that bao shop. i would want a richer guy than that. ;) but i'm nt saying he's bad..:)

ok.. next.. went to jayvin's bday party at bedok resevoir view.. yesterday. meet new pple.. and it all felt so so so so so fake.

1st thing.. we came and evelyn saw us but quickly acted as if she din see us. den when we say hi, she'll say in surprise, 'eh! you're here! hellow! how are you!?' kind of words..

ok nevermind.. den people like ah wing's (to protect the character's real identity, pseudonames are used) mom was even more fake.. perhaps she's in the service line thats why..

same for yam, she was fake too.
same for hell.. and i guess her sisters* too? *not sisters *

even me..i felt fake too becos i had to appear amicable. haha!!!

ok.. gotta go now.. shall update more.. life's going to be back to norm when hol (1week) is going to end soon.. sobs

recent update

2008-09-22T23:17:00.004+08:00

It's been exactly one month...plus 1 week 1 day..since i've blogged.

done lotsa things...and i cant remember a thing.

exams coming though. need to buck up on my revision.. has been slacking for a looooong time.

oh btw. this semester has been the worst for me because i've been slacking and many of the essays and reports were handed up or rather..finished on the deadlines itself. what's the worst was my presentation for counselling. i hate to mention but i did until like 3 am...and that's like the latest time i've ever stayed up until!!!

and yet, the presentation sucked to the core. sigh... *shakes head*

den, as usual hooked up with Morten's songs... and den choir boy's Pie Jesu, a very peaceful song! i listened to it when i went to sleep once.. and it made me feel as if my body gets heavier each time they sing this word 'pie jesu'. and yes i fell asleep really quickly. but that's just once..

Den, first time hand in report 3101 stats 1 day earlier... which i never did before.. haha! but it was easy cos i took previous one.. .wait.. please dun tell anyone, even though the teacher had allowed it. hahaha!

den took french class. did i say abt this?? ya.. Hsieh Ching Ming this cool dude, a chinese looking guy who is an indian taught us. another girl called Vanshika taught us too.. Ching speaks like one and the accent everything was absolute indian. not discrimination but it's kinda special cos i dun get to meet pple of different origin and different mixture often.

He's charismatic i can say. he's got a gf called 'spring' which i think was quite wierd?? but ok la.. nice name. she's a bit 'bah bah' plump if you put it bluntly. but quite pleasant looking.

Yeah, he's like a big bro to everyone man! he takes quite good care of pple.. eg. i got qn den he will come to me promptly. den if i show the puzzled look, and he saw that, he'll reexplain again. very patiently and with a smiley face.

well all that has to do with his smiley eyes. his eyes show you that he's always smiling. haha!

den... last few weeks before school ended ...i got this soo special feeling . hopefully Wisnu doesnt read my post. but I got this tingling feeling...special feeling... unspeakeable truth yet unsure....

yes a feeling that he likes...........

Q.......

haha!!! Whoever reads until here would think it's Wisnu that likes me right? no no.... the person is not me.. but yes... Q....

I'm not that fortunate to have an indo bf..haha!! people would have this schema that

INDO= RICH= HANDSOME. well haha... that's some truth.. but for wisnu... he's not poor and he's not rich... he's likeable as friend becos he's funny! lol! glad to meet this friend.

Ok... den even more recently, i got SO CRAZY OVER THIS GOING-TO-BE 17 TEENAGER!!!

DECLAN JOHN GALBRAITH!!!!

Yes! it's Declan that cute and handsome young singer. my Goodness!! you would fall for him too! go to youtube and type his name... you'll get loads of his videos from young till now! he started performing at 7!!! and he's cute voice will capture your heart! he's got like the best personality in this world!! goodness! His interviews with 'Gloria', this interview show were the best! you can see how cute and yet matured he was then!
I cannot emphasize anymore how great this young singer is! His voice is now breaking.. or rather...broke and his voice is still so unique! he made use of his voice now to create some sort of magnet to attract people!!

Go check his videos out, really! i really shouldnt have talk anymore cos i am supposed to revise my work!!!

Morten, A-Ha and Declan are my super favourites now!!!

2008-08-24T13:43:00.002+08:00

watched JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH with Annie, Qy, Wisnu and jessie.
Before that we had or rather they had lunch at Nebo Club...where we played taboo...

den the show started abt 10 15 mins orady...annie and jessie went to buy jacket cos they forgot to bring. thats why we're late.

The whole show was adventurous and exciting..yet heart popping! ive never watched any show that real. i know the visual effects are just too extreme but it was good. i can say the story plot and visual effects are better than harry potter. i know i shouldnt say that cos i realllly love HP. but it totally blew you off!!
there was one scene where the trio had to be in the mine cars and it was exactly like e one we sat in science centre..that something-gator...

it's the best show ever!!!

ok..on the way home, i met shiliang, charmaine's fren... it was embarrassing for me cos i said something wrong.

anyway..got his no. made a fren...and yep...:)

2008-08-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

Hmm..btw...if Paulwere to read this..hhahahah!

no offences man!

we are clowns ourselves.

LIfe Goes on with new found pal

2008-08-21T22:27:00.004+08:00

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing,
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing,
Be my mirror, my sword and shield,
my missionaries in a foreign field.
For some reason i can't explain
I know Saint Peters will call my name.
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

This is Viva La Vida, by Coldplay.
I got hook up onto this song cos it's so Christian and the melody is really ringing.

It gives me a very Literature feeling.. i feel so arts now. i feel i know alot abt Literature. hahahaha!!!

Whats very special is that, there's no 'VIVA LA VIDA' word in the lyrics at all!! HOW cool is that!

But i still won't forget my forever love, Morten Harket!!!

oh. recently there's a guy called Paul Gunnar... ya paul in short, he's what 42? a father of 2 sons, one 13 and one `15.

if they were older, i'd chat with his son rather than him. LOL! but ok la.. he's father liao, so i dun need to worry that i'll like him or vv.

but he sent msg to say that he likes me... which is like er..ok..so you mean friendship kind?
but heck la...he's just a lonely guy. talk to him like my dad lor.
no no...like a counsellor better...practice my skills. hurhurhur!

he's not really handsome, got a paunch and wears a specs that throws him back to the world of nerdies...LOL!

but heck la..got friend from sweden eh..why nt make global friends? singapore's too boring/ loL!

not boring but no fresh feelings bah... keke!

right..i really wish that i can meet an eligible guy...at least some motivation... no no...motivation should not be the word..but ah. yes... happiness.
motivation will be my money!!!!

2008-08-19T12:26:00.003+08:00

Half in love and half in hate....

This is another song by Morten Harket.

This describes how i feel about myself. i hate myself for the procrastination.
I love musical..those classical feeling... arts... high class.

:P

Olympic Ogle

2008-08-09T22:25:00.000+08:00

I am so in the mood of the Olympics! seriously, i've never been so enthu before when compared to this year ! Cos it's Beijing!! yes China!. The steady then sudden exponential growth of economy and technology made me felt that all these acheived till today is still so unbelievable!!!

Before all these talks abt china being a potential and latent for growth country, it was a half developed and half developing country. wait..is it called a country?? continent?? hmm i always makes these two up! yes, they are know for the fakes, the cheenas, the obiang, 'song'(in chinese, means obiang.), the black market, the backwards...blah blah blah...

Now, or rather, tune back to 4 years ago or before, when the Olympics committee announced the country Olympics' going to be held at, everyone rejoiced because it's Beijing, CHina, a timely volcano that erupts at the right time right atmosphere and right era. This volcano is brewing the best 'weapon' for its own ammunition, China's brilliant and creative human minds.

When it comes to technology, they are no way any lousy at all. in fact it is the opposite. They are , we can boldly say, almost comparable with the US, and Japan. Why we say these two is becos Japan has been famous for it's uniqueness, its attentiveness to fine details, and the ingenious technology. USA, for its leading-the-world technology and artsy infused technology. I know the way i put in is abit not technical and not according to research. but that'll have to leave it until 1. i rmb and 2. the time and interest.

CHina's technology, to what i feel and witness, is growing exponentially. Too fast i'd say. It's good on one hand becos we see the prosperity China is gaining(and we're happy for em), the country getting its revenue thru tourism and investments and etc and that will hopefully imprve the socio economic status of those who are in the poorer parts of the country. But the latter remains a question becos 1. i havent been keeping up the news with CHina, 2. who knows the cabinet of china's politic office might do. The things they needed help, may be overshadowed by the glorious light Olympic is emitting and temporarily blurred their vision? that i wouldnt say much cos i know that's just plain bullshit..in a way. :P

yes, Olympic is the stepping stone.. to many things that are latent. fashion, food, tourism, travel, history,culture, arts, talents, technology, sciences, maths, business, engineering, creativity, etc etc etc!!!!!

They are well known for their talents yeah! 1. they are talented. 2. there are many chinese to back up. well, how would i say? that means if thre are 10 chinese vs 10 singaporeans. compare that country's size if you can. how many of chinese to singaporeans would you think would be thought as a talent, or whatever you call along that line>???

if we have about 5 talents out of 10, then they have about 8-9. cos if they have 5 currently, they'll find from other parts of china, to substitute the other 4-5 who are not. LOL!

But i'd still say they need a whole lot of improvement becos if without some sponsor, or funds, they will still go on with their creation, but in an unfashionly manner. they will go by hook or by crook method. they would realise their dream by using unethical way. 旁门左道. like abortion, if they dun have the sponsor, the money..an the patient doesnt have money too, they will go to the unauthorised abortion centre. the hygiene is not good at all and that leads to inflammation.

If anyone still remembers the breaking of the leg and healing them, in hoping to grow a few centimetres taller technology, that is great! cos no body would be that smart and at the same time CRUEL to execute that technology. well, cruelity has been quite a history for CHina anyway.... eating foetus, bear paw, tiger penis, snakes(ewww!) sharks fin, monkey's brain, dogs, cats, rabbits.........etc. They are no doubt survival feats of the ancients.

But i am sure that with this holy and turn tables chance, BeiJing may be in the running for the 3rd or 4th position of developed countries. those developed countries are Great Britain, Japan, USA, Europe??, Korea,.etc..i cant remember anyway.. hahah!!!!!

Btw, i love to watch Gymnastics. THey are the best!!!! i now learnt how to do somersaults.. i jsut need to execute the moves now!! yeah!!! Can anyone tell me whre to get the schedules for the each sports event??? 8days magazine?? or what what???!

2008-07-29T22:18:00.004+08:00

Added a new song to my playlist of the best songs i've ever heard in my life. It's called Train of Thought by A-Ha.

haha! the voice was magnetic plus the melody was there.you see. den as i read the lyrics...itseems that it's talking about being schizophrenic?? having minds full of strangers?? below is the lyrics

He likes to have the morning paper's crossword solved
Words go up
words come down
fowards
backwards
twisted 'round.
He grabs a pile of letters from a small suitcase
Disappears into an office
it's another working day.

And his thoughts are full of strangers
corridors of naked lights.
And his mind once full of reason
Now there's more than meets the eye.
Now a stranger's face he carries with him.
He likes a bit of reading on the subway home
A distant radio's whistling tunes that nobody knows.
At home a house awaits him
he unlocks the door
Thinking: once there was a sea here
but there never was a door.
And his thoughts are full of strangers
and his eyes too numb to see.
And nothing that he knows of
and nowhere where he's been
Won't ever quite like this.
And his thoughts are full of strangers
Corridors of naked lights
And his mind once full of reason
Now there's more than meets the eye.
Now a stranger's face he carries with him
And at heart he's full of strangers
Dodging on his train of thought.

Then today had psychopathology class and we talked abt personality disorder. I realised that i have afew comordity of different disorders.. which is quite sad...

i have avoidant PD(personality disorder), dependent PD, a little of narcissistic PD( grandiose view of abilities and preoccupied with success of great success, yes i do that sometimes) and Obsessive- compulsive PD(different from OCDisorder, i had a tendency to be a perfectionist???)

That's categorised under fear cluster of PD.

How bad is that?? i may not qualify for them if i were to take the PD test...like DSM iv TR.

but sooner or later..i might.. so scared man... oh currently i am working of maternal attachment styles predicts depression project. and i believe i had insecure attachment with mom...andi may have the tendency to be depressed... hello! i felt as if i had them now! no lor..i AM having them oready. cos whenever there's obstacle..or when i 'fall' i feel terribly sad.

hey man..i m not tat weak la.. i'm trying to be strong here....( but in another words, i may be just faking it. put up a brave front. hmmm..... plausible)
hey..i cant destroy the image i have in my dream man... i want to be someone successful... strutting like some big and pretty bizness woman! haha!! butbut.... i have another dream i wished to realise..
that is to get into the media world.. and be famous.. like those people who does the makeup...or photography..or for styling.. or anything that's gotta do with media, fashion, art.. but
but...
but... i know i got no talent in there cos 1...i dun no anthing bout fashion..i wear very 'song' clothes. dunno how to match clothes. den make up..i know nuts about it!!!

art?? i dun do painting..or drama...or lit...

photography? yet to explore. might call up the company to take up photography job. :)

psychology?? duno eh..haven gott he motivation to check out. working as volunteer?? i needa mahneh!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
those jobs with criteria so high..i doubt ican cosi've yet to finish my bach.!

I want to take up violin!!! piano?? nah.. quite bad at coordination(cos need pract. lazy..muahahaha!) guitar?? i tot of it..but a little boyish..i find it not really nice cos it's afterall a boy's instrument. yes...i know i shouldnt have that kind of thinking despite taking social psych and sociology?? am i right to quote that 2 subj?? heck la!

how bout music making?? lyrics writing?

i need to be philosophical first then.........LOL! like MORTEN HARKET. the things he spoke are like gold. weigh so much, with meanings!

2008-07-27T23:37:00.002+08:00

Right. how shall i start? I guess i'm someone who doesnt know how to make and maintain frens.

i'm starting to lose all of my friends i made when i was younger. I lost my primary schools one, slowly, i am losing my sec ones...I'M THANKFUL TO THE CLIQUE WHO STILL ASKS ME OUT WHEN THERE IS EVENT. i should be thankful yes. but sometimes, or rather..as always...feel so strange when i'm with them. feel so 生疏. feel so uneasy, because i know the fact that, they had to do that so not to make them feel bad for making me feel so left out. is it the looks? i should really get myself out of that dimension though. but probably i dunoo how to maintain a convo..and i dunno how to speak with tactfulness. i'm trying man. but what's wrong!?

yes, at least i'm still with them. oh..where's keerth? i've yet to go out with her despite saying i wanted to. Grr...

i'm starting to be so aware of people's feelings and thoughts( or rather be aware of their non verbal lang till that i starts to imagine stuff) am i being schizophrenic? or should i say i'm having avoidant personality disorder? (check them out urself on wikipedia.org) it's really a torture having this kind of mindset, or i guess i need to change to 'disorder'. i am having this fear that's haunting me....and it's eating up more of me these days. darn. i'm actually crying now while i'm writing this. how dumb! (*laughs)

JC friends....i guess i lost them too. Council...i've never been close to them at the beginning of the term. tried to..but it was too made up. too fake. was never close to the 'maids , agency, and masters mistress', never close to Jane and becca group. not close to Brin's and the arts students. never close to the physics people, and most of them are with the arts students. i'm not trying to segregate them from what i was from, science. but it's easier to see it that way...for u and from my perspective.

hmm my cliques from jc...the few good friends that i really treasure, are the only ones that i'm still in contact. i pray that we can stay that forever. they are the only ones who don't 'blame' or are fascinated in a way or so of me... at least i get some attention( real and focused). I THANK THEM TOO. :)

Den those close friends i used to have from Deb. now seems to be in a world so far from me. I tried to reach to them but lightnings just prevented me. yes their kind of lightnings. Their wittiness and their confidence...and their sense of humour, and the way they talk made me the odd one out. i guess attitude should be inside of those i listed. i utterly lost them for real. No longer anyone from Deb contacts me. True they do have their own lives. but normally frens would nudge you to say hi.. but i dun get that. I , not checking the msn, believed that most of them ..nah.. some of them blocked me? probably none even. i'm back to my hallucination again.. wait.. hallucination means u dun know that you're hallucinating... hmm what is that word theN? shucks..forgotten...really need to read up again for my abnormal psych.

yes....saw some fotos of the peoples from Deb. Even Angl. went. The four of them, 2 guys and 2 gals, one of whom was someone i once looked up to. I still do. but i guess i'm not that suitable to be her fren afterall. different mode of speech. I must apologise once again for offending her before she flies to aus for studies. Well, before that, i've always tried to be on my toes when speaking to her, afraid that i'll offend her and kena shamed by her..and kena humiliation. and yeah..eventually that moment of offence came. is it some kinda pre-destined? (dellusions here)

i guess i lost the 2 guys as frens too becos 1, Gl. is more hyper and i dunno what to speak of when i'm with people like him. It's not that he's not good. he's good..funny and i enjoyed their company. but becos i was afraid of speaking stupidly and of speaking lousy eng, thats why i retreated, not wanting to speak much in my lousy eng and be bimbotic... well..in a way or so, for me. The other one, Luc., was some one i guess i adored before. hmmm of course, i got over him the day he confronted me when i guess the one i looked up to told her. prbably not...if she said its not her...ok..someone else...
or probably my actions were too obvious??? sigh... 17-18 yrs old liao.. still act so stupidly. sigh..
i can only look back and laugh...no longer be ashame cos those were experience that we all normally will go thru. who haven acted stupidly before? We all mature as we grow and each stage of maturity, lands us on a platform of higher actualisation, to look down on those stairs of mistakes, and say 'how arduous we've come thus far!"

yeap..councillors of the 19th wasnt near close at all. so totally no contact... sad... oh... Chal. this thai guy, once a crush of mine now no longer in contact with him although his nick keeps appearing on msn. he..i oso dunno why dun wish to contact me. it's not the crush part ok?! that's like i said...the past...foolishness.

ok... come to uni...it's kinda pathetic... now that i've got a few friends, i ought to say my prayers. But.. still not that open enough i guess. i need for network. I'm in the line of sales and mlm..i need to speak up..and smile!

i guess i spoken enough of my lamentation. currently i'm listening to Morten Harket's and A-Ha's songs. Morten's songs are the only sole consolation i have to accompany me to walk the treacherous roads ahead.
Bless Me

2008-07-25T00:46:00.003+08:00

Touch me

How can it be

Believe me

The sun always shines on T.V

Hold me

Close to your heart

Touch me

And give all your love to me

To me...I Reached inside myself

And found nothing there

To ease the pressure of

My ever worrying mind

All of my powers waste away

I fear the crazed and lonely looks

The mirror's sending me
These Days

Please don't ask me to defend

The shameful lowlands

Of the way I'm drifting

Gloomily through time

I reached inside myself today

Thinking there's got to be some way

To keep my troubles distant

Touch me

How can it be

Believe me

The sun always shines on TV

Hold me

Close to your heart

Touch me

And give all your love to me

i presume what they meant is, hope for those who are wanderers. those who have troubles finding themselves when they looked into themselves. What roles to play is what they get is what they see from tv.

i am sure i got e last part wrong..but hey, i dun get a chance to talk to A-Ha. If not, i'd asked!

2008-07-25T00:41:00.003+08:00

Forever Not Yours by A-Ha

Hold me tight

This is a lonely night

And I've hurt you baby

Because you are my light

Make me strong

Just like you make me weak

When your hands reach out for me

Even in your sleep

I'll soon be gone now

Forever not yours

It won't be long now

Forever not yours

Memories they keep coming through

The good ones hurt more

Than the bad ones do

The days were high

And the nights were deep

And I miss you baby

I miss you baby

I'll soon be gone now

Forever not yours

It won't be long now

This song is so nice and it somehow had an impact on me. It doesnt mean that i had a relationship but. more of general rlnship. Yes bf and gf are forever not yours. although you will think of them, still love urself only... cos that's the way to compensate what we've given out( if other party doesnt treasure you)

2008-07-20T00:37:00.002+08:00

Right, i have a confession to make.

I'm so in love with Morten Harket! I loved the band A-Ha and the songs he sang. I'm constantly amazed by the way he speaks and acts. I even had his pic on my desktop and as wall papers on my handphone. Songs are constantly repeated because of the melodious tunes. I love his attractive voice and i'm very amazed and yet curious about the way he sings. He's unique and the one and only one who caught me so unprepared in seeing myself so crazy about him.

i should be blogging about other stuff like homework and etc but...i guess i'll find other time. :P

2008-07-19T18:16:00.003+08:00

Summer moved on by A-Ha

Summer moved on
And the way it goes
You can't tag along
Honey moved out
And the way it went
Leaves no doubt
Moments will pass
In the morning light
I found out
Seasons can't last
And there's one thing
Left to ask
Stay, don't just walk away
And leave me another day
A day just like today
With nobody else around
Friendships move on
Until the day
You can't get along
Handshakes unfold
And the way it goes
No one knows
Moments will pass
In the morning light
I found out
Seasons can't last
So there's just one thing
Left to ask
Stay, don't just walk away
And leave me another day
A day just like today
Stay, don't just walk away
With nobody else around
Seasons can't last
And there's just one thing
Left to ask
Stay, don't just walk away
And leave me another day
A day just like today
Stay, don't just walk away
With nobody else around

Summer moved on

2008-07-19T18:13:00.002+08:00

Analogue by A-Ha

Come back, my darling one
I'm calling on you
The road ahead is long
And I must warn you
I wonder
Where did she go?
If I failed you
I tell you right now
All I want you to know; I love you
All I need is the time to show you
Come back, my fallen son
Don't let them fool you
Cos when the day is done
They'll never move you
Lay down your senseless pride(Got more than you)
Put out your mournful tones
I tell you right now
All I want you to know; I love you
All I need is the time to show you how I feel
Feel(Lay down your senseless pride
You travelled once too often, yeah)
I tell you right now
All I want you to know; I love you
All I need is the time to show you how I feel
All I want you to know I love you
All I need is the time to show you how I feel

2008-07-10T17:58:00.004+08:00

It's been quite sometime since the last time i blogged. had quite a few nice dreams and recently i found my love for an 80's band called A-Ha. sadly for the trio, i can only remember the main singer's name. hahaha! den had 1 week and after today, it'll be 2 weeks of school. haven really settle down yet because of A-ha, and procrastination is in me. still.

right, icant remember what i dreamt but the recent one was dreaming of Wisnu in his cool white motorcycle. it has a white cover over the lower front, so u dun see much of the parts. no front wheels but just back. and it's brand new. we( me and wisnu) called out to the aloof looking wisnu but he heck cared us. hahaha!

den recently got the chance to actually 'talk' in a group for class activity with DaXuan Kenneth their group. that included Jacintha and Melissa WOng. oh...i talked to andre's fren too. Glad that i fairly had a nice time with them...

A-ha, a bad formed in 1981 caught my attention when my bro asked me about this famous song, Take on Me on youtube. I went to check it out and realised that i knew that song but never knew it was that pop and the song that catchy! The comical mv a-ha had was great! and it was this mv that made them famous. I like Morten Harket, the main singer of a-ha. He's absolutely exotic! i get sooooooo head over heels over his eyes and smiles!!!
songs like 'you are the one', 'stay on these roads', and 'crying in the rain' are my fav!

i spent like the whole afternoon yesterday till about 8 to find stuff on A-ha. sigh...its not a good thing to boast i know and i was and i am so disappointed with myself. but i shall restore with more studying of the book during the weekend...haha!!

Loves Morten Harket!

2008-06-25T22:44:00.002+08:00

Hi all!

I'm back! I reached singapore on Monday and before that, i actually took the wrongturn and ended up turning in circles in KL.... i tot i left! but after passing a toll, i'm still in kl.... sian!!!

if not i can get home earlier!!! BUt talking about missing home, i missed much of my two nephews. they are absolutely superliciously cute!!!

During my trip to kl, i also went to Taiping to visit my cousins and their family. I drove all the way from kl to taiping for consecutively 4 hours. cool right? haha! but on the way from taiping to Felda Ijok, i nearly met with an accident!!

the road has no barrier at the side and it was a two way road. cos i was following my aunt in law's fast car, i too stepped on to catch up in case i lost them. den i think i drove at around 60-80kmph. i guess my eyes were unmoveable. looking straight at my lane only...and not looking at the bigger picture. Just as i was nearing this point, i only heard 'niu niu niu niu niu...' my mom screamed a little, but what i thought was, why was it so noisy!

i saw something on the right coming in and when i realised it..... it was a COW!!!

It's not white, not black, not brown... but pink! you know those piglet colour!??!!? yeaH!!! it's slightly pink and beige!! oh my god!! i've never seen any cow of such colour!!! it was scary dude!!

so when i finally regain my conscious, i jammed the brake. well my brake din really work well, cos you have to jam really hard... i din...ya so when i'm actually nearing the cow, i told myself in my mind that , ' shit! i cant brake in time!! i sure bang into it! i cant hit a cow!! i'll be fined! just like those american show, i have to stop for them! if not i'll sure kena.'

cos the car coming on the other way actually swerved a little to the further right, i actually got a space, so just before i hit the cow right in the middle of it, i immediately looked at the rear view mirror to check for any cars, before i turned the steering wheel to the right, and swerved passed the cow. the whole car nearly topple because it was very swerved right. everyone and everything hit to one side( thats what i heard from the driver seat) i nearly lost hold of the centrifugal force!!! after that right swerve, i pull back to continue my driving. it was super scary! my hearth was thumping against my rib cage! after that, everyone( my mom, my bro and my 3rd aunt) was like trying to comfort me and trying to calm me down. i couldnt drive liao...so my 3rd aunt suggest that my mom should drive.

the cow was definitely a tribulation,... an obstacle.. it was like what heaven had prepared for me... it was scary man! the main thing would be the colour of the cow and the timing of its appearance and how i regain from my sleepy mode to avoid that disaster! if i hadn't braked before i swerved, i would have hit the cow. and 缅（ is this chinese word correct? ) it would go over the cow and flipped the car. that would land all of us in hospital and in an insurance mess. the car was a new car ok!?! i've yet to finish the instalment! If i had stepped on the accelerator, i would probably hit the cow's head. my aunt's first thought was,' cham liao cham liao,sure hit the cow, sure bang. it's still a new car and a new driver. this time die le. sure hit one( all in hokkien)' she was the one who sreamed 'niu niu niu' thanks to her i regained from my sleepy mode. thank you and God bless her. My bro's ans was ridiculous,' wah this time sure hit one. ...aiyah hit den hit, i know how to handle it.' what does 'handle' means man!!! really what, what to handle when it should be me and mom worrying about everything..and handling everything!

everyone were giving 'positive' comments about me...like ' for a novice, i'm considered very calmed to swerve out and back to the lane. others would have panicked and swerved out without swerving back to hit others.' and ' i'm like an 'experienced' driver for a driver who only drove 2 months plus. just like playing those racing games.' den my bro actually said that i'm considered very pro le, esp with that event happening, i've became the pro if compared to others of my level of driving experience. hahahah!

these are the comments that made me felt better after that frightful event and an event that i thought should be and indeed my fault. if only i had not said i wasnt tired and trying to act tough. i should have let my mom drive. but i din. this time it was a lesson. but seriously even before this cow thing, i nearly hit into a motorcyclist when i was turning out from a small road to the big road. cos i THINK i wanted to drive out to the right, so after seeing, i drove out and suddenly a motorcyclist just passed by before i really move out. cos normally i will just step on the accelerator lightly before i rev up. so when the motorcyclist passed by just infront of me, my car was just a few centimetres away. it was a close call! i almost hit him and have an accident!!!

hmmm come to think of it, my trip to kl was a dangerous one. i guess i shouldnt even go up cos 1 probably my driving skills really sucks and 2nd, my fate probably was destined to meet into any accident abroad that kinda stuff!

once when i just reached kl, i came to this roundabout. there were a lot of cars coming. and when there's a chance to go, that was after this big truck just passed. to put it clearer, the cars behind the truck was still quite close, therefore after the truck had passed, i would need to step on the accelerator to avoid the cars from braking or even hit into my car's boot. but on an assumption, i tot the truck would have long gone and the road be cleared for my entrance to the roundabout. but when i turned my head from the right back to the front( you have to turn to your right to look out for cars u see), while i step on the accelerator, with the assumption that the ''truck just passed', i nearly hit into the tail of the truck!!! damn it! it was a close shave!! seriously! although it was just a passing event, it was scary enough esp the truck is huge! and u really nearly hit into it.

den the second time was the motorcyclist... den the 3rd was the cow and 4th!!!

it was when we return back home to kl, it was night time so the vision wasnt clear. 3rd aunt wanted to go into a small road for food but before we even reached the small road, there's this kancil( small car in malay i think..or the brand name of the car) who braked and i havent really braked much, so much so that i nearly hit into him. ok that was still ok. the real thing comes. i was mving out of the small road to the big road, we had to look out for cars mah, den i was on the 1st lane, which was on the right of the small lane. den suddenly one mpv ( i think...high rised car, pajero i guess) stopped on the second lane of the small lane. so i couldnt see lo. den this msia car came in between us and moved out really quickly. so i tot to myself in my heart, eh why he so fast can go liao? so thinkingthati can also learn, i move out a bit. ok.... no cars yet...so i totally moved out! but my aunt and mom screamed(not as loud as the cow event) so when i looked at the rear view mirror. SHIT!! i was freaked out. i wasnt fast enough ..no! i shouldnt even move out! cos before i moved out, there was a horn sound. so i thought it was for me...the car was moving really fast and when the car came from my back, the person was i think braking really hard to avoid crashing into me. it even sounded the horn at me. it was scary!!!

i dun dare le...i should take my time to ensure my safety liao!!!

2008-06-17T13:22:00.004+08:00

hey! i'm writing this post from my cousin's house in kl!!!

it's been one day since i'm in kl and yesterday was the arrival day. i drove at 120-160km/h!!! yeah!!! it was fast but i gotta be careful. but somehow when my mom drove the car(we took turns to drive) at 160, i tot it was rather ....slow! hahaha!!!

but anyway.. i felt great after being able to drive to kl..hahah!!!

den at my cuz's house,, theres 2 kids... the elder one is called yixun. and the 2nd one is called yifeng. yi feng is still a baby and sian...keeps fidgetting dunno for what..and dun smile much..

as for yixun, he's a bubbly active boy who loves his mom so much that he cries when he cant see his mom.

when mom asks him to help to find carpark, he anyhow point sure got one empty one... a lucky chap!

loves him to lots although his qns are sometimes quite irritating and unanswerable.

ok...ya back to previous post..

he's super skinny now... sad to see him so skinny after 2 sems...walao...school's torturous..loL! he needs to get some supplements. but i doubt he will get it from me... :(

right! dunno why i start to miss going out...hmm i guess i shall not post any further inner feelings on this... lest anyone thinks otherwise.

2008-06-16T00:13:00.002+08:00

Ooh, Mr. Todd! (kiss)
I'm so happy! (kiss)
I could (kiss)
Eat you up, I really could!
You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? (kiss)
What I dream (kiss)
If the business stays as good?
Where I'd really like to go,
In a year or so?
Don't you want to know?

liked this song sooo mucH! Anyway....went out with nic and yh.. hmmm how nice! though a little awkward becos long time no see plus, i can sense the uneasiness when yh's not there! damn it. what? cos i'm yeelee?? instead of a girL>?

anyway..after yh came, he was so relieved and i can tell.. he immediately showed his easiness! ha! den they talked in SYNTAX AND JAVA AND C++. damn it..i dun understand a thing! i try butting in but..very little..so I STONED. seriously man... cos ok .a.. 1 thing. i'm kinda tired. den 2nd, boys talk...no no..computer talk! ok..i'll try to be more accomodating by reading up com code books. like java and c++. i did....or rather that was syntax? couldnt rmb..but stopped there cos i wasnt committed to computer to really explore the book.

ok..so he kept saying yh smoked him... den stuff like for eg, napfa in army,.. you know what sbj right?? cat Y right?? i was blur so i didn really know the context they were talking...but after some 'processing', i guess it meant 'standing broad jump' and i assumed 'category Y' the lousy category.. muahahahaha!!! ***laughs at nic*** **feels remorse after that cos i feel so evil***

den ya..den the way he talked to me durin lunch( he din eat cos it was expensive i know.)( i know!!!!) was...so much like a friend then when he talked to me without yh!! damn it... why cant he talk to me like as if yh was there! in fact i like it that way rather than...talking to me like i'm a girl named yeelee, which has an association to me being crazy over him.. please...no no... i really..soooo much prefer the nic ( as in fren ok! i seriously feel so comfortable when we all talk like frens) who speaks in his own comfy type.

ok..den he told us that he could'nt process when a car was moving towards him... baseline: Jay Walked.
i feel so sad that he's mind now is 'processed'in such a way that it's exactly like a computer...prob window XP?? not window Vista..cos he seriously have no recall of what he was doing previously ,before he talked to us abt some stuff. but of course, after much effort... he finally...

a joke he told us made us sigh..or rather i sigh...well i'll cont prob tmr or something
gotta sleep early..still gotta drive up to KL!!!

argh!!! so scared!! 1--scared to bring certain things up.
2---driving up to kl is no small feat, though both my mom and i will exchange
3---things brought up might not pass thru custom

4---no no break no glass!!! borrowed from mel one..cannot break!!
ok...
if nic were to read this...h#mmm he wont i guess... he's too busy with his research. and ya.. wanna wish him serious best of luck.. in his research. hope that he can find his way.

oh ya..as i was saying he wont read..so if he were to, haha... -_- please talk to me like how u did when yh was around..not like when u talked to me in tcc....so awkward!

2008-06-11T22:07:00.007+08:00

Tobias:

Ladies and Gentlemen!
May I have your attention please?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair.
To discover your pillow is covered with hair.
Wot ought not to be there?

Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken with ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare.
Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose.
From the dead!On the top of my head.

'Twas Pirelli'sMiracle elixir.
That's what did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true. Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,Just like an elixir.
Ought to do!How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed.

Does Pirelli's Stimulate the growth, sir?You can have my oath, sir,'Tis unique. Rub a minute. Stimulatin', in'it?Soon you'll have to thin it Once a week!

2008-06-10T22:21:00.003+08:00

ok, just now at around 10 15pm, i tot i heard ice cubes? ice stones?? (i forgot that word for bing pao, sian...) falling on the metal roof top. the rain drops are heavy and big, thats why the sound was loud. and soon a heavy rain followed and it gushed down from the clouds like water being poured out from a pail continuously. yes, with the force of the wind, it was as if we're fighting war against them. my clothes dropped on the dirty floor outside cos of the big wind and i had to rewash them... Dang!

tmr will be my 2nd last paper, stats. i'm rather anxious yet i'm not doing anything.. in fact there's nothing i can do but try to rmb the facts lo. cos the notes are like...rmberable.?? iono..prob i'm over confident...which is bad...prob i'm just confident that i can do it...cos stats is afterall, not that difficult i guess... i pray so. cos i dun want to see a C for that. I'm afraid that forensic will be a C for me. :(( oh...social psych i'm really praying for that too...cos it's written and i din manage to finish them..andi wrote wronglyfor 1 question...damn it.... God, I pray that You will tide me over for social psych, pray that You will let me have a good grade. Amen.

i dun feel like doing env and stats now!!!! and btw, i've yet to get any news for the meet up with N and Yh. Hmph! oh..i've yet to reply Nick's fb msg...i dunno how and what to say...esp when he joined the group call ' i judge you when you use wrong grammar' or something along that line.. eww..i dun like that. i neeed help.

2008-06-07T12:38:00.002+08:00

how amazing is dream?

according to dictionary.com, it means a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.

according to wikipedia our friendly encyclopedia, Dreams are the images, thoughts and feelings experienced while asleep, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep.

i'm not sure if i had REM but i'm sure that my dream this mornin at around 830 was the wierdest dream i had ever dreamt.

i rmbed vaguely that before i sleep yesterday, or at around 1am plus, i thought of two NIc.s. one is my friend and other one is Nick Quah. I dunno what happened and the reason why they appeared in my mind...

so yes....waking up at 830, i tot it was still early(normally 9)so i re enter my slumber. yes those eyes protested though.

So i was with a group of friends, yh was in there too i guess, eating at mac? but the place was a big place with many empty tables and chairs. so it's jus a few groups of pple eating there. its morning and the lights were not switched on..so it's like some deserted restaurant. of course, there's another side of the table with air con and orange lights. so my group of frens sat in front of the counter and surprisingly when i looked over to another group of people, guess who i saw!?!?!

yes... It's Nicholas Quah!!! yes..he and his friends from CAP'08. they were finishing their food and he saw me, recognised me(cos from fb) and waved to me sweetly like how he had that innocence when he was sec 1? i think its sec 1 when i was Jc ahem.

but after waving, he said something to me. bt i forgot. i think he meant that i should not talk to him or something along that line. it was saddening ok!?!?

so i went over to the other side of th etables with orange light...and the place changed to a cubicle corner with sofas and cushion and tablessss. Yes..i met up with YH and Nic. this is the part which i said wierd! i told them tat imma meet them for some catching up,..and yeap...met them in my dreams.. hahaha!!!

so i was talking to Nic and YH...den Nic was totally totally different! he no longer does any IT stufff...and he talked quite a bit...wearing quite smartly..not those with tie and long sleeved shirts but rather, those tshirt with some design. haha! oh he draws too!! yes.. that's funny. yh... was just sitting there listening as well as drawing.

yeap so while we were talking, a lady came by......yes out of nowhere. and guess who's she??? a hk actress, LI ZI (Gigi Lai) starred as Ren ZhiHua in Life Art.

she came over and suddenly, placed something on the table got a tissue out to wipe the beads of sweat on Nic's forehead. i was stunned... Does she know him and vice versa??? She's there for quite some time and NIc had trouble concentrating in talking. lol! after she left to do other stuff, Nic turned over and told me, ' oh she's so beautiful!, she's got big face, she's fair and big eyes... she's tall too!'

seriously i dunno why i had this dream! so ya, Nic decided to woo Li Zi. hahhahaha!!! Li Zi sat at one corner on the sofa relaxing and he went over, sat a dist. and said hi. he even said he would like to be her fren and he cited some of the shows she was in. but please!!! all are very old oready!!! so behind times! hahaha!!! Den i butted in, 'wrong! she's now in the show Life Art (in chinese) . You like that oso dunno......'

yes sorry but i admit i was a lil' rude.. sorry! den yea Li Zi smiled. yes...so both of them talked and had the most wonderous time together.. forgetting the real world he's in and forgetting the frens who were with him. BOth had smiles on their face... of course...no one to talk to..i drew my stuff... and later.. ran over to yh's side to see what he was drawing. but walao..selfish him, he din want me to see. so i sadly drew something in a wooden box.

well after the trip back from fantasy world, Nic came over to us to talk to us again.... so.... 重色轻友. so the next day, we three and my mom were supposed to go to this building an arc in the middle..so that means there was a semi circle open space infront of this curved building. We went in and Nic was haha... wearing smartly. Glasses on, hair combed nicely, jean material tshirt with nice pants. strutting confidently with his arms over this A3 drawing book. yes.. rmb? he's a 'drawer' lol!! he's not considered as an artiste though but drawing was his passion.

yes..he met up with Li Zi and she gave him what she had made for him, 爱心便当.

of course, yh and i stood from far away saw how sweet both smiled at each other, just like some young couples. well...my mom and i went to the toilet to gossip abt it... hhhaha!! that's how my dream ended.

give me your comments. cos this is super wierd. i never thought of Nic and Yh in the day ok... nick Q ..ok la... sometimes and he's an icon that will spur me on to doing better.

2008-06-06T00:50:00.002+08:00

stats hasnt been a wonderful subject for me....cos there's so much theory ..plus Mr. Pat's effortful but confusing-to-me explanation...everything abt stats makes me want to sleep.
env not started yet..sian..even mor thingsto rmb...and forensic not finish yet...........SIGH!!

hey! i uploaded my very funny pic on fb.hahahha!!! it's something like o.O.

lol!

2008-06-04T00:23:00.007+08:00

social psych wasnt good for me at all.. even though the paper was kinda considered easy...yes.. if only i had revised earlier and studied harder...:( no use crying over spilled milk now.. i can only lick my wounds.

forensic will be a tough one oso..cos i got 0 preparation..i only do some note taking of i dunno what they meant! ok eng is a prob....so vocab might work against me...

i hate to think about going in confidently and suddenly mind gone blank..for no reason. andi hate to think about not able to do those qn cos i dun know what choice to make..sian..

life's full of choice. but they are bad ones... :(((

ok...Nick Quah had some new photos and haha, he looked just like any cute normal teenage boy. or guy...Not like any of the looks of a celebrity. So girls, dun hurl urself to him! haha!
he's growing man! i can see! The hair made him looked so ...emo now.. you know those emo looking hair style!? yeah.. alil like that. He's growing from a young boy's built to an almost broad shoulder any girls would love to lean on.. haha! well i guess i admire boys who have real straight bodies, not too beefy like those muscular guys.. eeww.. too much cushion not that comfy ok!. straight and upright..that's nice... :)

ok..i want to re-emphasize that i no paedophile. i'm merely just being observant. he's smart.. got selected for some elite prog. i shall not announce..unless those who know him would noe.. haha!!

hey! but den again, i'm no proclaiming that i'm his direct friend. anyone would love to talk to a person who's eng is that pro!! to learn from him is my greatest honour but the greatest shame of an older woman( 'an' =me). what a contradiction. i need to read after my exams.. try to brush up my eng..currently i have HP last book, haven finish yet sadly.....

eh...yh got back from south Africa..he hadn't become one of them yet despite the hot weather..hahaha! cool...if i were to be there, the scorching sun is going to burn me. soon, you'll realise tat i no longer speaks chi..but african lang. haha!

oh! i dreamt... abt pri sch fren SImin i think... and Rebecca Teo.. haha! oops... why? dunno.. ya we were in a large huge shopping mall of nice interior design...classic london style? i dunno how to define either but it's mostly white and with some choc or golden colour series.. warm orange light at the sides..adn the design..i shall try to draw out next time! REMIND ME! yes..they even had a temple...in the mall! can u believe it?? it's more like altars set up in the shop. ya i was shaking the lots..Chou qian... draw lots...haha! den got incense joss stick smell and smoke....

ya.. den i was dressed some gown ...dunno for what...same for my fren..i think rebecca? oh wait..but the whole thing starts with me buying some assessment boooks for my tutee at this really cool store.. the dad of the tutee accompanied me... den this shop was having super super big sales!!! ITS tentative to just grab and go! no need to buy at all...but of course..needa pay... just a lil sum..i even swiped my card...of course..buying things i like too.. den the money for the assessment..i intended to get it from the dad.hahah! den not enough, go int to stock room to take summore! haha!! it's big ..with some lego toys too!

den another happening...that is tog o down to pray i think...*forgot some of the details*
oh den ya..the dreamt changed to me wearing this person's blue clothed chef hat... it's from delifrance.. den he was busy looking for it...even to the xten of going out of the restaurant to make sure its me that got his hat! Indian he is... lol! (prob got the idea from M1 Mumbai advert) so yea.. it was i who stole his hat..so before i went back to the restaurant, i grabbed the hat down quickly and put it behind this temporary stall that is not opened.

haha! den e dream took another turn with me walking on the 1st level...which had a great and vast area of white big tiles and this 'balcony' on the second floor with two excalators on the sides to join to the 1st in a curve shape.. oh stairs too. really grand, and the aircon temp was just nice. of course, the big balcony was more of a stage than just a place to stand... it's so bid that a group of teens wearing blazers, seemed like theywere from mhss class 4/1 of 2005.. calling out for each other...having their own fun...perhaps they were a choir!? couldnt rmb either.

ya den after that, me and rebecca met WILBER PAN! pan wei bo!!! so shuai! around my height and fair! we both gave him gifts..haha..den we hopped on to this escalator..it's not moving up...it's not escalating! haha! it's ok..more like a travelator than escalator :P. yes.. it went down a level and zig zagged some small place, passed by this aisle that is a food court aisle, den yup, talking happily with both of them.haha!

what a dream

2008-05-28T18:55:00.002+08:00

music: in praise of the vulnerable man - alanis morissette

what's the point of being so strong all the time when being strong results in you creating armies and walls to protect yourself and never ever letting anyone in?

Got this from Rayner's blog..and acknowledging this fact gives the credit to him for putting this up. It coincides with this blog that i read though. Yes.. the friend i always say..haha!

well...what to say when he posted that entry up!? To help or not? To ignore or not? to be in contact or not? to be friendly as always or not? to even talk or not?....

millions of questions can run thru my head now..but i chose not to..cos...i guess i'd just remain neutral...For that meet up..i guess we'll make our friend the mitigating factor..to 'neutralize' what embarrassing moments there will be when we all meet up. i say 'will' as u can see..cos i know there will be...as always i supposed.. even a 5 mins one. sigh...i somehow....sympathise him? or should i not?

becos he said it's just him..that's him. dude..me too, o'right? but i managed to try to overcome that everytime i meet pple.. ......

well, to the very extent, calling someone is still the worst barrier i've ever met... i dread and hate calling pple...darn! even if its just calling up some bank to ask abt some point system! bloody damn it! why why why? sigh... i dun have that kind of fear in the past. i dun have that kinda fear man!

oh...just as i was cursing, i saw the lights on the buildings(residential) in front of my window lit up! haha!! what does that mean? LIfe aint that scary at all!

i guess i really need to call others more often. but i always worry abt bills. haha!!! i'm saving for my dad.. yes..u can call me a spoilt brat. i waste money.... but on the other hand i keep saying that i want to save up. what a contradiction!

i need to work harder. for everything in the world i'm attached to. ya. studies, work, feelings, life.....

ah yes... Life... LIFE!!! what a word!! u can attach all those wierd words to it. yes.. like oxymoron, contradiction, innuendo, pun.....sh*t...scary place etc...

ok.. i shall not figure out the meaning. cos it's subjective. many pple attach diff meanings to it.. some religion would reply.. It's God given, live to tell the tale( truth, legacy...etc) of God.. bla blah.. please..i must once again make my stand clear that...i'm a freethinker... i believe in all religion as they all exist and have their own kind of worships and tales.... end of story...

and...i need to get out to meet new friends..i'm always a hermit crab.. darn!

2008-05-27T21:37:00.005+08:00

Right...after watching the videos on mediacorp regariding RI's win and Nic being a celebrity...I just knew that he's afraid of being called the 'celebrity'. ya.. THE celebrity sounds fearsome..at least to him becos haha! probably after the debate on celebrity shouldnt be given the attention cos of the bad influence.

he's kinda afraid that he'll be attacked by those anti-Nicholas Quah. :P please hopefully there isnt. He's just a cute little kid... or we can say a teenager that every girl is hoping to have a date with!

when reporter or journalist or paparazzi caught him and asked if he preferred any girl from the opposing team( nygs), he showed his wide grin now and then. oh my goodness!!! That will be a sweet scene to witness. but i'm sure he liked someone judging from what the writer wrote for the article in mediacorp... let me guess... eewei?!??! that girl whom he was up against with for the finals?? i guess she's the one he like.. if not why would he stand with eewei for phototaking? and that close? and why would he be the 3rd speaker? must have arranged. hahahaha! and when receiving the prize..or when the winning team was announced, Nic shook eewei's hands, cant see how he had his eyes looked like... but i can see that Eewei's looking at Nic intently..eh..dearingly? or admirably?? she looked at him for quite a long time...wit that gleaming eyes... correct me if i'm wrong but dun try tagging me and scold me that it's not when the actual fact it is! unless u did it wif ur fingers crossed( not fingers at the vital parts, hahah! still could rmb what nic told ashish when they were interviewed)

ya..i guess it was a longer hand shake between nic and eewei as compared to nic and jessica... I'm not sure if nic had anything for the 4th team member..the one with flowers( in da pics on The Arena website)

ya... but i guess...Teen heart is a growing fonder for new experiences.

Go for it Nick! :P:P:P i'm seriously curious what subjects Nick is taking in his sch.

2008-05-27T20:57:00.002+08:00

I cant believe that simply talking about Nick Q will actually gain me that lil fame...

not really a fame but, at least caught 2 person's attention.

Does that mean that i should be responsible for blogging about him, and nothing but him? updates of him so pple will visit my blog and hopefully write in to the newspaper and say, hey, this girl blogs about the lil celebrity!

well..i shall not..although i shall occasionally if i ever ever had his info. DO i want to share then if i had his info? nah! haahhaha! ok i shall be good....

but i know i still wontget the chance. He doesn't even know me...but i will talk more abt his styles as well as THE MOTION HERE AND THE FORUM. dun tell me u guys duno abt e Arena forum...Gaurav is in there too. He's attractive cos he's knowledgeable. but nick q makes a better one becos of his smiles and magnetic voice + etc.

ok

i'm super bored now even though i needa mug for forensic currently...but dang! the book is boring...the notes are at least better... I can pass this..cos infront of me are 4 talll residential buildings, with 1 long stripe of changing colour lights each!

it's a beauty! becos it's 4 stripes, there are a few combinations of colours. plus it's nt just stationery colours, they change colours smoothly.. really beautiful when the night is dark!

fom my side, it's beautiful...but in a few years time, i guess they are building another building in front of it..and wath the hell it's going to block out my only entertainment! :(

ya.. it's the one near united sq...and ya..u would have guessed where i am staying . :P

2008-05-27T00:00:00.007+08:00

OH my goodness!!! can you believe it?? I was sure already that NICHOLAS QUAH was going to be the best speaker for today's motion. "Freedom in speech has gone too far on web."

OF course to my expectation, he clinched the best speaker award not only for this motion , but also as an OVERALL BEST SPEAKER AWARD FOR THE SEASON!!!!!!!!!!

woohoo!!! i knew it! His charismatic style never fails to enchant all the judges. PLus his analytical skills.

FOr today's motion, i tot the prop did quite a good job in defining the case..and they were clear in the arguments. but they seemed to have raised certain issues in e debate and dropped it...not picking up again. THough the last speaker did help sum up beautifully the case, they i think forgot that Nick pointed out certain issues that are untouched by e prop. The prob of the case persists of course, and in actual fact there is no clear winner. bUt rather....RI scored becos of they wre able to do the clashing and point out the 'loopholes' (as said by prop of the regulation system...) taht prop forgot to tackle.

I like Ashish and Nic's style. esp NICK!! OH MY!! ok...gotta compose myself! both had the 'general view', 'bigger picture' style... but what's the diff?

Ashish's humourous! esp with the Indian one! :P

Nic...always that calm..thinking well before he speaks,. he likes to show 'why' and tat's good, cos he's explaining details...and he knows them! bravos to him!

and oh my..i just noticed his fingers today.. super smooth?? and long?? what the hell..i'm ashamed of myself...that's referred to as the 'learned' or the 'high class with intel' hand.. (according to what my observations tell me, according to many observations i had) that's what i know of guys.. :P:P:P

ya...and wait a min..i dun need to be ashame cos i have my parents to blame thats all..or rather fate and destiny this mysterious process at work???

yes..and back to those 'IF ONLY....'

yes if only my mom had met other fathers..:P i'd prob be a princess by now..with better personality and a better way of carrying one self...

IF ONLY! ya..and i'll do a good deed for my child by marrying a guy like him...ahhaha!

but wait!! i repeat! like him..not him! in case some pple fail in reading accuracy.

well... if i were to marry a guy, it will be someone tall( it'd be good, but den again... height is not a matter when it comes of love), quite pleasant looking, intelligent or smart u'd say(although there isnt much dif), well to do family, filial, good personality, someone i can talk to and interest me, matured( not = to old please!), humourous at times..., great at books and practical...eh..perhaps u can say have a good relationship with pple.....good habits!!!!( VIP, i hate hate hate those bloo*y smokers! act cool nia...hello? u're indulging in urself only.... oh bad for kids too), it'd be better if they are responsible yet sensible( so that they would be so stupid until pple say 'u still gotta do this to get this money' when in actual fact, they want u to work for them!) ah!!!! ARTICULATE that's 1 of the main point too! cos he will teach my child good eng.... it would be better if he's got a brit accent... the kind Jessica Hsuan had in the parental guidance

oh a patient father too....

i guess i'll stop here, in case pple think that i'm being crazy.....eh.. i'm just merely stating what i prefer... and i dun mean to tell pple that i'm desperate or something..

Its sharing man! it's 'GLOBAL COMMUNICATION' (As cited from Nicholas Q)

2008-05-25T22:17:00.002+08:00

Right.....that monkey ass ben got on my nerves again...well prob i had my wrongs..thats why he got fed-up..but hellow..he doesnt see that he's immatured..why can he act like some 18 or 19 yr old teen?? he's acting like some 14 yr old kid!! why cant he act like at least the standard of my cousin?

watver i dun wish to further talk abt someone who's .........argh! i know i have my wrongs but haha! so what? i'm not going to elaborate! xP

ok...i know what you think...you find it embarrassing to just meet me one to one..hello wait...i know how you feel... hello dun be scared dude...cos i no longer harbour any intention of u..thats like soooooooooooooo way back... well..since u asked other fren to tag along, well.. i'd say it's even better...the more e merrier. but ya..just wanna clarify that u dun needa have that kind of thinking that i'm meeting u and only you..just becos what? spend the time alone with u..
eh no pleaase...

i dun mind buying 2 yummy cakes though! :P wah.. at thought of cakes...woohoo!

ya so my friend, you know i'm talking bout u...u better ask our fren when he can...den tell me...dun let me wait..

oh if u happen to decide not delaythe meet up....i'd say u better not..i'm not threatening here but becos it's hurting my pride if i were to keep asking...and it would make me feel guilty for not realising what i've said...

purely that..no other else..

2008-05-25T12:04:00.002+08:00

i found a guy,, or rather i linked from Janice tan's friendster page to her friend's male fren. it's the first time i sw a guy taking so many of his self-portrait... how vain is that!?

well he's quite a good looking dude. and of course, it's his 'passion' to take fotos..well i dun blame him for being that vain..cos it's no of my biz. but i'd say the fotos he take are moments of life..he take beautiful pics and best of all, he give great caption for many of e fotos he took. hahaha!

want to know who? haha...u might want to ask me den i show u.haha

btw...i havent finish revising my social psych! how how??

2008-05-24T00:46:00.002+08:00

oh went to eat with mom around 4 plus at Globetrotter in United Square. the stuff are super ex..me and mom..plus some take-aways =75dollars

i was like...what the hell?
Quesadilla( i know wrong spelling) was yummy! but the mozarella(the sticky one?can pull one?) wasnt enough. den mom got crab meat linguine, and me, a chicken caesar. dad had Carbonara ...Funghi haha!! funghi=fungi=mushroom

so funny..

ya..den i overhead this mommy chineseZ,asking this tied up long hair uncle(heck care abt my eng..cos i'm writing this at 1250 AM) whether they sell balloons. she wans it for 1 boy and 1 girl. rmb! 1 boy and 1 girl. she asked what colour do they have. what do they suggest den?

ok ok..here comes the part! that's when i know that social influence..conformity comes into play!!! culture of the construction of gender is the lead actor/tress. i told mom abt it...of course, she doesn't know what the heck i was blabbering abt.haha!

as i was saying she will get blue and red, the mommy said' ok, give me blue and red colour.'

how coincidental??? or how typical you would say???i'd say, too predictable!

of course, even if i were blind, i'd know she tied the respective colours to the respective gender....oh my god! this time, i told mom and myself that if i had a baby, i wouldn't choose that colour. i'd prob choose green( embrace e nature!) or purple e royal colour? hehehe! nah...e only colour came to my mind was green.

awhile later, an ang moh mommy brought 2 cute lil kids( ok la,,not that cute) and the waiter..a tall eh..malay guy i guessed attended to them. He served e dishes to us too..and he acted in a very polite and 'service-oriented' style when he asked if we wanted pepper that will be crushed at that instance.

ya so when they arrived at the table, he was soooo fake oK!?!?! he even say hi to the kids. what? are you trying to garner good impression, in hoping that the mommy will praise him and say he;s got good service attitude..and he will be promoted or get some GEMS awaard? puh-lease!

btw..the food wasnt that nice..cos the salad had a SLAB OF CHICKEN meat on the veggies..with bacon that FATTENING! oh my! Mom's crabmeat linguine tasted like some tuna fish smelling and looking linguine. argh!

oh 2 reasons why i din take e foto. 1, too obsessed with eating, 2 no habit of taking food pic. i must take whenever i'm dining in such western restaurant. the food are normally pesentable...and Sam and Dawn always do tat..to get pple attracted. haha! oh...one more reason, i normamly dun take pic unless they are super nice! or super beautiful!

2008-05-24T00:30:00.002+08:00

i dunno but i have a feeling that i'm stepping on ppple's toes...and ya..esp Deming's...dunno why...

i guess i'm too much of a busy body, tagging my comments on his fotos on facebook. :(

sorry but i really meant it as just friends talking....i dun mean to say things to let you think, 'what, you're the photographer or i am the photographer? dunno dun act...'

of course, these are what i imagine..the not so worst case scenario. Sorry...but becos i'm looking from an angle that we are alumni frens, that's why i dare to comment....

anyway...srjc-alumni blog was having prob..and i've been finding ways to try to upload the 'will run' photo, but to no avail. :(

i needa get itup now...oh..facebook too... talking abt facebook, there's not much activities i can do now..cos i cant spend my time at Zoosk or mindjolts...or green patch or feeeding my animals, can i?

i still got 3 more subjects to revise..darn and i haven finish social psych.

anyway..saw Dawn Yang e sexy model on the IT newspaper. she said that she earned 1000-2000 dollars a WEEK! can u believe it? oh my. she looked a lil like Xu Ruo Xuan, a taiwanese singer....i think.

oh she said she drives a SLK! Merc of course! my god..so young driving that.....cant compare...i need to stick to my intelligence style. kekeke!

oh...ya..she knows agri, and sam.. woah! same social circle u see..the clubbing kind, the rich and fashionable kind...oh my god!

well i cant live that kinda life..just be stable. oh Melissa Goh! she's getting a CLK!!??!!? can you believe it??? oh my god! (again)

i really need to pia for my position too....说到做到！

2008-05-22T01:05:00.002+08:00

oh my god! He replied finally! Yay! Nick Quah replied! ok..shall stay composed..he's outwitted me ok...a 15 yr old kid outwitting a 20 year old old lady... :(

of course he doesnt remember me! he said he's either too young or i'm blistering great to be rmb..what the helL? suan me...seems like i'm the bugger...whatt he..

but anyway...i saw Chere See being their former coach...hmmm i was wondering at first who is chere see...den oh!!! she's Chere SEE, the raffles powerful and very influential debator...i believed Glenn liked her..as in jokingly i supposed...as those who knows Glenn Wong from ELDS the skinny small ear kid...haha!!! so Chere See is now in NYU!!! oh my goodness!!!

Sian...pple get to go top sch ABROAD somemore...but dun worry...i'm going to..prob UK? if i get to have good results..and perhaps after hons...or bach..i'm going to work first...PPLE OUT THERE!!! SUPPORT ME BY NOT SHUNNING ME WHEN I SPREAD THE LOVE TO YOU!!!

Love would be the solution to your needs!

i cant face Nicholas Q now.....so embarrassing!

2008-05-20T00:33:00.003+08:00

today was a monotonous day...andi wasted it w/o revising much
cant even finish 1 chapt of social psych...sigh!

well what else occupied my time other han helping my mom to fix or do plumbing work for, the basin pipes?

prob u would wonder, where's the guys???? well...Dad din help, using his mouth to delegate the lousy job or some man manual work to me?!?!?! Den this case, you would ask, where's my brO?

i'd say save it! he's a big boar with nothing but games in his mind. He's lazy...and it gets on my nerves whenever we asked him to help and he doesnt. well...afternoon, he did help me though... just a lil..tiny weeny bit...and i'd say i'm grateful though the fixing of the pipe by him did work out well enough. i meant the screwing part of one connecting pipe with this 'bowl' that holds the water under the basin...if those who've seen it should nkow what i'm talking abt...

he did help..thanks... but what abt tying the newspapers?? those we wil lsell tho galang guni(wrong spelling???)??? mom ASKED him..to help. but he said he doesnt want. but HEY! if she could do it herself, she wouldnt even ask him! sigh..that e problematic part...

ok..back to my dad,...perhaps he's old..thats what i told myself to reduce my cog dissonance. no choice ok!? who ask hiim to be my dad, i know he's just relaxing...but i needa tell myself he's old and he wants to train us! right! yeah right... well..ya..really right cos he always does that.hahahaha!!!!

so that bloody thing got my whole afternoon away...haha..plus abit of slacking...watched tv...and oh! i needa silicon the basin sides too...thats what took my time up! yup yup...that's a tiring job man ........esp without the caulking gun..(i think it's callled caulking gun...) it's terribly tiring !!!

ok..den wasted time again..by waiting for the zhu chao to defrost the herbal chick...told mom that we could wait alil while more before we leave e house.

but nvm....

if u see a dent behind my car, shhhhh.. dun even ask. not me...just dun ask...
oh..

Qy if u're reading...you gotta 守诺言... cos i seriously dun want to see my friend doing things that will harm her and her friends... hope that u can see that i'm coming from a friendly approach... i mean no harm no hatred no anything i swear!

2008-05-17T22:31:00.003+08:00

I dunno if it's me or what what... he could be busy resting, or busy going out with his friend for meet ups and outings...but what about mine? well, the initial plan was to meet up to give him the cake, but ended up... like..nothing happened? seriously, i would love other people to taste the yummy cake. i msged him, er..hp and online. but it seems that he's not replying. has his hp gone missing? or the person appearing online wasnt him at all?

i dun like calling people. even answering calls from any pple i havent realy contact makes me feels jittery.

what am i suffering man!? mobilephobia? (mo- bee- lee-fo-beer) haha!

i never call and i would not call unless situation calls for it. although this is a situation, i would still notcall becos who knows, he might be busy with something and miss the call or in a place where all is quiet and his fone rings the whole place, placing himself in the centre of attention.

i think too much for others. is it time for me to think for myself?

i still need to find a balance in there. thinkingfor others when the thing benefits them like the work i am in now, it's super beneficial.

den when is it thati need to think for myself? there are a list of it, and it would be a hassle. who noes, what i thought to be for myself might be for others in actual fact???

i needa break from these kinda mental retardation. i'm growing stupid-er day by day

2008-05-16T17:32:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was officially the last lesson of Forensic Class.. WoohoO! BUt BUt, i feel kinda sad now that we have to part each other as well as the class lessons. IT was fun for tutorial! It was special because unlike other tutorials, this involves in many action and thinking. Alot of role playing and by making use of the notes, we come up with lawyer's case to pit the skills of them against other teams. It was tough on the lawyers and cheers to them!

so yesterday we reviewed our video and we had to say what we can improve on and what was done good and could do better. haha! surprisingly, or coincidentally, i wore the same outfit!! exactly thesame outfit as on the day of the enactment of the scene. haha! yes..same shoe, top and pants. what the helL!? except for my socks, they were yellow yesterday.hahaha!

Sad to say, we sat with Gab and ahem, tortured by her....my hand was doodled...with stat??? oh plus the word S.D.. You would say standard deviation, wouldn't you? hahah! no no...it stands for ... wait..i shouldnt even expose that here. It would be too embarrassing for the drama queen. :P:P:P!!!

hahahahahaha! no i'm no drama queen. Those who are drunk will never say that they're drunk. haha!

i'm just being lame. :-s

oh, yeah. our group members at the final lesson were a few only. Gab, QY, Annie,Jessie, Ming, Wisnu, Julian and me. Stella, diana, mikael, fred and...tirnadi didnt come...and i duno what they're up to.

HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i knew what Mikael was up to yesterday during the period of lesson. NO he din come. i saw him after we alll dismissed. I was on my way home on bus 5 and when the bus was at the Orchard busstop, i looked at the people coming up. ok...no handsome dudes. hahah!

so the bus went off until newton...and when i tot of looking back to the front of the bus, guess who i saw!??!?!!? yes yes yes! That's him! Right in the front seat!

It's Mikael and......his gf!!!! can you imagine? givin up 5 marks for his girL? iono how he thinks. can't blame him. there are factors that can help him. yeah...too bad he din notice me...he got off with his girl first ,1 stop before i got off.

so yeah. becos of the playful duo, QY and Wisnu. i had to walk all the way to novena from my bus stop just to give Annie's hp to Wisnu. Yes, they put it in my bag and din want annie to know..and being the sotong head, went home with it. :S
wad a night.hahah!

2008-05-14T14:37:00.006+08:00

Well, after much thought about the life i have as compared to Nick's, i've decided to live his kind of life...i dunno what kind..but i supposed it would be reading lots of newspaper, news on line and to give my opinion to what i think should be the way. In another word, 'confidence' , as cited from Nick on the video on the arena website.

yah, to be confident so i can be intelligent...haha! how it rhymes. oh, to think critically too...that's super important.

of course, i'd stop being so immatured into thinking that i'll talk to him in person. yes, i'll not be immatured like those who tagged on my board saying that i'm a freak. I dunno if she meant it for real or for fun, but of course, using a very nonchalent way of thinking regarding such immatured stuff, i'd say it's all subjective.

2008-05-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

Right. I'm not being crazy over him but i'm more interested in what his family did during nick's mom's pregnancy, how his mom brought him up, the teaching style, etc.

Cos i am seriously concerned over my future son, how he will be like and how well he's going to excel in his life, just like Nick Quah. I'm so awed by his calm yet clear analysis of the debates he's in. If i were to stand infront of the crowd, not to mention on tv, but just mere sparring session during cca times, i don't think i'll be able to be so calm to think thru logically. Besides that, i'm super weak in my eng...or gp. i need alot of reading up which is something i do not really enjoy. If it's for leisure purpose, i'll be interested.

After quitting debates for something not so intelligent like Council, i realised the importance of reading, and keeping myself updated. But, i dunno why, i just cant reserve a time for reading. i'll be either watching tv of some dumb storyline or lazing around, surfing net while doing my hmwk...which is totally what the hell?

ever since, i read abt world news rather than local news when I HAVE THE TIME. in another words i seldom...sad..i need to read nw...esp bbc news, which is not biased like The Straits Times?

I've always admire the intelligence, rather than beauty. BUt recently before i watch The Arena, and of course the ever charming Nick Quah, i was so obsessive about dressing up beautifully. even though it wasn't that beautiful, still i would think that beauty is everything. so Wrong! Intelligence is better than beauty and women would be ultimate if she is equipped with intelligence with beauty.

I dunno if i'm living in the Utopian world whenever i think of Nick the super intelligent kid. (intelligent here would also mean, matured ) i know the meaning of both words are totally not the same, but i'd like to group it under the section where i would refer to when talking about ideal guys. Why i said utopia was because my reality doesnt really need me to debate..or to talk about issues like in debates. Besides that, i rarely read, except for those journal articles that's so eww... oh and no more junior college env to enjoy the youthful atmosphere. I like to relate debates or anything interesting to jc level because it's this time that we really enjoy what we do and be free of troubles of the adult world. oh...and to compare with my current school, jc totally rocks my world!!!!!!!!

ya, i get a split in my mood everytime Nick and my reality clashes together. It's a super terrible feeling. I know i should just face the reality and forget Nick as someone i knew. BUt the fact is, he's a 15 yr old Rafflesian, Singaporean, and i've talked to him before! i cant ignore that fact that he lives in Singapore. It's not as if he's some tv super star, eg. Rain?? He's someone whom i can reach out to get closer.

of course, not like some crazy fan, but hopefully, talk??? i always have this fear for the intelligent people. I get super careful in what i say in case i make a super big fool out of myself. I need to appear intelligent so people wont think, 'what is this 20 old lady trying to do? why is she making friends with 15 yr old kid. i don't want to talk to someone who is of lower eng or lang standard than me.....etc...'

i know i shouldn't say that despite the lessons i've learnt during social psych. but i cant help it.

ya, the first time i took notice of him was when he's sec 1 and i was an usher for ELDS, as a volunteer. den i saw this SUPER CUTE LITTLE BOY SMILING AT ME! yes, he's always smiling! just like what you saw on tv. oh my god! that cute angel's smile is just so innocent and i was wondering, 'awwww. what a sweet smile this little boy gave me.' He's kind( i guess) cos i chair-ed the debates and ushered them! i even exchanged conversation with him. just a brief brief one...yes i know..so brief that he dun even remember of course!

i think it was the srjc invitational?? or something that i believed was to be the finals. held at srjc...and ya...i guess it was that year.

oh i den did a search on google, and realised that there are over abt 30 blogs that mentioned Nick's name. oh they even had this theory of 'Quah Effect'. that is whenever he is on the platform for to speak, girls and even guys would take out their camera to take shots of him. he definitely is a charismatic boy, even at such tender young age. Ok, perhaps no longer a boy. Saw him on arena on 12, and when compared to the Nick i saw before on the Arena, he's definitely grown alot!!! oh my!

can see that his body takes shape of a young adult, esp when he fold his sleeves up, making him look more macho.haha! oh and his face is bigger?? i duno bout that. but ya...his smiles are not that cute, esp with those youth pimples. but hey, he's still on the cutest boy/guy list! I always like his smile. i guess it's his mini eyes, those lips( rosy red with think upper lips) and his kind natured look that won him a title.

i'm not being a paedophile here or neither am i head over heels abt him. It's just that i observe people reallly closely until i sorta know what is the thing in that person that attracts. Hey! i guess i will be going into the same line of study with Patrick and Reuben. haha!

oh..yeah perhaps let me reiterate what his future will be like..or perhaps prophecize his future.hahaha!

btw, he looks like some grandson of Lee Kwan Yew! He might go into some jobs that he is passionate abt, to help people and many pple will fall for him. he might get a gf, but not that soon even though he sorta expressed alittle of his envy during valentines day of those couples, that was written on blog. perhaps, sales job? i duno...perhaps not.. but oh ya... lawyer??

but i guess he might go overseas to further study his...i dunno what subjects he take but assuming that he's a triple sci student?? i dunno la... i'm not any Dumbledore...haha!

but i'm glad that i took the courage to send him a msg. i need more confirmation to such bravery. I'd love to hang out with those who speaks eng like Nic does.
OH oh...do correct my grammar too. i need some guidance over there too.

Nicholas or Nicolas or anything along that line are some smart people, taking my friends as example...

2008-05-13T01:22:00.004+08:00

Oh my! What can i say!?!?! i'm terribly sad that every girl is talking about MY Nicholas Quah Er Chuan.

i bet no one in their blogs(i googled Nic's name and found out that many many girls blog about him, oh my!) ever mentioned or knew his chinese name, right??!?!?!?

haha! oh my! i'm so proud! But of course not to compare with the girls who are in the Raffles world know him.

shall cont abt him tmr...cos i seriously need lotsa time to blog about him.

i will be touching on the brief history, the reasons and the search i did on him.

hey, i'm not any paedophile or some peevey person, ok!?

2008-05-12T00:52:00.003+08:00

Phew! i finally almost finished my social psychology essay!!!

i've reached 3000 words already (including citationssss) and i'm glad!

but i'm worried that i did not fulfill the criteria for the essay.... :( sian....

i dunno la...the scope is terribly wrong. and the depth is horrendously wierd!

but what to do!?!?!?!?!

monday 13 may is already the deadline.....and i haven really do up the abstract and references!!!

shiitttssssssssssssssss

i need to buck up next sem. meanwhile, i needa buck up on the env and stats reports and read up on the stats notes...cos i'm having a major spss test on thurs... :(

oh...revision would be a battle...and exams would be a full time war, of many destructions...yeah...of my brain cells and emotions, of course...

Bless me. oh btw, you do realise that there's a lot of 's' right?, yeah they meant for 'sucky' too. ugh!

2008-05-10T16:30:00.004+08:00

with regard to my previous post, i seriously still cant find what constitutes my SELF. although i've gone for the social psych lectures on Self, social perception, group dynamics and so on, it seems that i could only help others to regain their self and related stuff( i put the word 'could', so it means that i normally fails. hahaha! ) However, it seems like I cant counsel myself and i cant help myself to find the self.

after reading my friend's post, i realised that i seems to hve a similar case man! haha! to be happy becos i've got a mate who's like me? or to be sad because my fren's in a terrible state like i am.

I guess my friend's in a better yet worst state than me. why the contradiction? Bettter because my friend did not lose his self identity. my fren knows what is it and its a choice as to whether to go back or not. For me, even if i really had gone back to my self during certain situation, i wouldn't even know because i assumed too much roles. LIke what my friend said....

assuming roles is not difficult, you just have to act it out that's all and laugh it away, coming back to reality. But is it just assuming a few roles only?? is it just assuming thats all? i guess not. everyday we meet different people of new faces and of different characters and mood. we want to be liked, we desire to be like anyone else so we do not appear as freaks who is the odd one out of the norm. thats what we call in social psych, the NORMATIVE INFLUENCE. (all capital words will be words derived from the 'social psychology alive' book)<br>
practically, i live by what others define me as... in another words, i have HIGH SELF AWARENESS(or monitor). i am so conscious about myself that i worry about how and what people see me as... i am sad if the person doesnt like me, i'm happy if the person often talks to me like some good fren. i have high self-esteem when i dress up pretty BUT when others dress the same. I have low self-esteem when i know others surpass me in certain areas i regard myself to be incompetent in it.

ya..that's what my friend's a little better. My friend's worst than me when there's a large group of people. my friend do not know how to react i supposed.. dunno to adhere to some social rules and put on a vizard assuming certain roles. I understand tat man...but for me, i'd JUSTIFY it by giving myself reasons why would i want to socialise. is there a purpose?

i know there's no obligation to do that because i myself dont like that either. but what for should i increase my facial cuticle to make friends or to socialise? I hated it but i tell myself, i'll need them one day. or it will be fun to talk to someone of different perspective. I live by this idea that making friends is to gain knowledge from people. They may have experiences taht we dun and they may be the opportunities that we are searching high and low.

Attended this talk in sch by Mr KAMAL KANT. He gave a career hunt talk and he said that 'not all guys talking to you(in this case i'm a girl) would mean that he likes you.( and vice versa) you need to go out there to network. be brave and you might find that opportunity hiding in that dark corner.' he advised us to not 'look udner the light', which means that we should not only find opportunities that are in the light but to search..and not wait.

oh my...he is so right...i really take my hats off him.

well...anyone can say that this post is ALSO dedicated to my friend. i'm not saying that i AM but i said i ALSO. that means i'm writing this becos i am in this predicament and i was inspired to write in a more formal fashion...

social thinker

2008-05-09T19:09:00.006+08:00

I'm soooo glad that my friend send me a belated bday msg....yeah..that's when i msged that i cant meet up, my fren din even msg me abt the meet up...well..i wonder what my fren's thinking. and, it's a little too late, isnt it? i guess my friend's too busy with school work... so yeah..forgiven..:P well there isnt anything thats wrong here, right? my fren's busy..so the reason is there...

welll i didnt actually blame anyone if no one rmbs...cos ya..i'm not really a person who is so wow as those people with money and friends and the coolness. i admit that i admire those girls with friends so close, so fashionistic( if theres such a word) and speaks with a particular characteristic...if u dunn what i mean, go out with me and i'll show you what i meant...esp when we're at orchard. it would be like, 'wow, it's like..oh my god! (american accented with bimbotic hand actionsss)are you kidding me? (super american accent), i wouldnt even care(bitchy style)'
of course, not really those kinds..haha! just kidding..i'd admire girls who speaks with a certain elegancy...thsoe realyl high class girls with a special charisma...

yeah..sort of that kind, you get the pic?

and i like girls who has the money and friends, and they gett o throw parties..attend parties and dressup with such beauty..oh my...talking about that....i need to maintain my not so fair skin and to pull my hair line back(in case no one knows..my hairline's very close to my face..which is wat the hell.!?)

oh ya..so talking of throwing party, i'm intending to throw one for my 21st bday. yes..imma invite many pple to a place which is very high class, and perhaps, i'll give the party a theme...haven tot of it yet cos studies occupies my life now...argh...

welll...this post's supposed to write abt my happiness about the msg my fren sent..and i ended up as always writng abt other stuff....

free think

2008-05-08T12:44:00.002+08:00

yesterday did my env phototask till 12 plus...only to find others better in terms of creativity and neatness. when Pat said he keeps the good ones, does this means that he's forsaking those that are not attention catching? this sem's env psych is endin...and no more offering of it, as no other uni are providing this fun and easy module.

right..i've yetto do my social psych essay, env research paper, and stats...argh! revision has yet started.......a bad omen.

praying planning and preaching will do me good.

2008-05-05T20:34:00.002+08:00

well well, haven blogged for a while, due to forensic(finished today) and social essay(haven finish!!!)

and i forgot what i watned to blog...
bought dress, bought a pair of sandal, ohoh...went to eat Ben and Jerry Ice CreamMMM!!!

yes..we went to queue up for the free ice cream after class at 5 and it was a super long stretch of people! was enjoying the atmosphere, with so many youngsters around. I felt as if i was back to sec to jc age! sigh..how i wish i can have those fun filled days!

so ya..qy and annie went to buy 'Prints' book, a coloured book that i've always wanted... thanks!!! oh

thanks be to Annie, Ariel, Joo Leng, QY and Rebecca, Wisnu i guess oso..hahaha i dunno! i'm so happy!! though i'm not an avid fan of lavender colour and of that pattern of the book, i'm contented. thanks!

oh...den Annie, Qy and me went to SOdoKu to eat the jap bazaar food. oh my god! t's my 2nd time and i'm still loving it!!!!!!!yum yum!

din take foto although i had a cam...well i'm not much of a cam whore yet...but yea...soon i will be... haahah! cos i realised that beauty should be captured. just like DeMing's interest, taking fotos....wow...he got this DLXR cam.....forgot e brand...you can go to his blog, if you find his facebook...hehe! well, i've yet to ask him if ican link him yet...yeah...soon... :D

yeah..so i ate cha soba, katsu don...annie ate a big big bowl of salad and this pasta which tasted ok...den qy ate Rosti, drank green tea and ate bacon and cheese ommelette. total 50 dollars. But it was fulfilling!!!!! yay!

den on 30th April, bought a Coca Napoleon, a narpone cheese with hazelnut base was aromatic and soft to the palate, yet crispy like biscuit, as if i was eating a very fulfilling biscuit with a topping of creame de la creame, and cocoa. oooo yeah! mmm!

it's not so sweet till you feel disgusted but just nice!

oh and i'm intendig to buy the same cake a 1 pc one for Nic. yeah..i said i'll buy him Prints...but...he insisted so hard that i shouldnt spend...well...i know what he meant...dun wan me to spend it as if i have a crush on him or something along that line...well.. i've never meant it that way..but..hmmm....1...i said bfore i'll get the intended gift and 2, i wanna give it as a friend...and he said his fren onky wished him, why not be a special fren..and yes..just fren, to him!?

he's delving in too much. i may have asked why would he wanna save up to buy a ring, but that doesnt mean i like him...and that doesnt mean i'm poking nose in his biz....but rather. Curious cos it is definitely an ambiguous term for anyone..but just me!!?!?!? oh my!

well yea.. he said that it's a mathematical term.... hahahahahah! God knows... perhaps he got a gf, he just dun wanna admit...hahaha! walao..i think until so far...but even if he has one...so?!

what s the big deal? ya lor...whats the big deal 'sia'...hahaha!

ok i sound like some ah lian..hahahah!

what the hell..i gues i've become more ah lian due to driving.

why??? cos pple will tend to cut into your lane without due care or without signalling properly, and i'll tend to like raise my hand...look closely! it's hand..not finger...hahahaha! i wont do that sign puh-lease!!!

hahaha! and i start to scold more lately...sigh...not virtue... no 内涵。好失望。 no more guys wil like the virtuous yeelee le... oh..ya..and i've been speaking chinese lately...lost my flair(wrong spelling!) or flare of english. i needa speak more pro english..

if jcu pple doesnt knnw .... Our SWEET MEREDITH CHIOW left jcu...it was said that she left for MOE...wah...is it $$ matter?? impossibell! perhaps her efficiency is needed for the betterment of the society...(yes,'betterment for the society' is what i've learnt to say when i was in debates..wow..i learnt! :P)

oh yeah..so i purposely asked this lady who attended to me when i wanted to hand in my assignment. she said, 'oh, she's no longer with us.' I dunno if i heard her wrongly or what..(but impossibell)..so you KNOW what it means!!! walao...her enngrish ah.... i din point it out to her...cos i dun wanna appear mean!!! yeah!

hahaha! well..oh.. yuehan's going to...africa?? for ns exercise...wa...he's...i pity him...everytime suffer under the arrows of his heads(top bosses and brass) and he would complain. haha~! even before he departs at 2345 or 2335, he hates it so much... muahahaha! sorry dude....it's funny to see hwo you always complain.

ok...i guess that's all folks for now!

2008-04-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

I need to relax..and be confident. That's what the lady at ta bo gong at amoy, or telok ayer st told me. well, i asked the wrong divination cos when u asked for one, u dont have to ask for studies. cos that's on ur part to strive hard. but she told me it's a bad one cos i dun have confidence?? the confidence part is she say one i guess, iono...

well..that was the first time i had gone thru this divination process. muahahaha!

yes i know i ver lao tu. haha! to mention it was an embarrassment to me. the way i held the divination container..was..unable for the lots to sift one out. i shook sooo long..and finally, i gave up and let my bro first. den it was my turn...well..it was loud and noisy..but good to see one lot drop out. but sad to hear if its a down lot....xia xia qian.

anyway...it was fun..at least i know how to do it now. oh..i need to pray to master white tiger , bai hu ye. i forgot what for..but its for the good la...
.

oh in case no body knows, 29th April is Ben and Jerry day whre they will give out free ice cream!!! yay! 1-2 scoops...yay! going with my fren..yes..who else but the three of them, annie, qy and wisnu.

oh btw, i just realised that it's also Mr Patrick's bday. haha! ben and jerry boy. LOL!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him first!

2008-04-24T23:16:00.001+08:00

oh i recently realised something... my watch was once, about 3 days ago, 20 mins faster than all clocks i've checked.

surprisely...yes. so what happened??? iono too! i want to know what happened too!

how i wish that some paranormal or someone who's knowledgeable regarding these wierd findings to tell me that i've been thru time..hahaha!!! by 20mins only!!! LOL!

so prob i'm faster than all of you in terms of foresighting!!! yay!!

ahahha!! but that might mean that i'm older than everyone here by 20 mins.. wah!!!

and now my watch says 11.25 when it's 1120pm only. so...i'm beginning to move into the future again. muahahaha!

but of course..that would not happen.

so yeah...wed morning went to NDC to put my lower rack of braces.. woah..i felt something restricting my lower teeth...but nt painful... however, until in the late evening, everything started to evolve.

the demon in the pain started to become stronger. it's so strong that it took over my nerve system, splitting them into halves and halves. i cant even have my dinner proper. and a little touch of the upper and lower teeth made my nerves burst, resulting in a super huge attack on my sensory nerves. OUUUUCCCCCHHHH!!!! i was 'shitting' all over and i was in such pain that i kept hitting the tables to relieve my stress...oh..in hoping to relieve i meant.

but today was slightly..yes 0.0001% better.

well...who asked that my gene's so 'good'. good untill need money to protect it...argh!

Nerve wrecking pain kills!

oh..ya..today's Nicolas B'day. Wanted to give him my intended bday gift, but becos i knew of this fortune reading dashi, i tot of gettign him some not so enpensive gift of fortune. but he kept insisting that i shouldnt buy.

well..tot of giving my intention of frenship to him but ...so...i decided to give him a nice yummy slice of 'The Pattisier' cake. it's not going to be cheap cos it's special and so trademark of theirs. hahah!

and it's worth it in another way la... cos good yummy food MUST BE SHARED!!! and i should be helping them to advertise since the cake i last bought for my mom's bday which was yesterday, was super yummy!!!!

oh my god!

2008-04-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

oh i recently realised something... my watch was once, about 3 days ago, 20 mins faster than all clocks i've checked.

surprisely...yes. so what happened??? iono too! i want to know what happened too!

how i wish that some paranormal or someone who's knowledgeable regarding these wierd findings to tell me that i've been thru time..hahaha!!! by 20mins only!!! LOL!

so prob i'm faster than all of you in terms of foresighting!!! yay!!

ahahha!! but that might mean that i'm older than everyone here by 20 mins.. wah!!!

and now my watch says 11.25 when it's 1120pm only. so...i'm beginning to move into the future again. muahahaha!

but of course..that would not happen.

so yeah...wed morning went to NDC to put my lower rack of braces.. woah..i felt something restricting my lower teeth...but nt painful... however, until in the late evening, everything started to evolve.

the demon in the pain started to become stronger. it's so strong that it took over my nerve system, splitting them into halves and halves. i cant even have my dinner proper. and a little touch of the upper and lower made my nerves burst, resulting in a super huge attack on my sensory nerves. OUUUUCCCCCHHHH!!!! i was 'shitting' all over and i was in such pain that i kept hitting the tables to relieve to stress...oh..in hoping to relieve i meant.

but today was slightly..yes 0.0001% better.

well...who asked that my gene's so 'good'. good untill need money to protect it...argh!

Nerve wrecking pain kills!

oh..ya..today's Nicolas B'day. Wanted to give him my intended bday gift, but becos i knew of this fortune reading dashi, i tot of gettign him some not so enpensive gift of fortune. but he kept insisting that i shouldnt buy.

well..tot of giving my intention of frenship to him but ...so...i decided to give him a nice yummy slice of 'The Pattisier' cake. it's not going to be cheap cos it's special and so trademark of theirs. hahah!

and it's worth it in another way la... cos good yummy food MUST BE SHARED!!! and i should be helping them to advertise since the cake i last bought for my mom's bday which was yesterday, was super yummy!!!!

oh my god!

2008-04-20T13:49:00.002+08:00

Life is starting to get busy for me.... soon, probably after my exam or...perhaps earlier, after my assignments, i'll take up the photography job. den with VE, sigh...i was psycho-ed to buy one for my family first...i'm like..walao...ask my family to be on the operation table first. muahaha!!!

but anyway, i neeeeeeeeed to learn how to speak of the prod..not any other thing...
if i dun have things like Mel has, how i start sia!? so different from Winalite lor. sian...I guess they want money too... that's like that with mlm...but as long as i get money from outsiders...i'm satisfied..oh and i have to plan...sian...but i'll learn bah.

den went for alumni meeting and AGM yesterday... finally saw Becky and Jane! it's been a long while.. haha! lucky yesterday ther's a few came... if not we;ll be sitting on cold chairs.

Got so much gossips to share with my friend and i'm so enjoying it... MUAHAHAHA!!!

2008-04-13T23:53:00.002+08:00

Today, supposed to go to balestier to eat breakfast with mom. but i mistook this right turn for other road..and i happily avoided that lane..i was like..what the hell!??!

den i saw thomson road, the road i drove along when i went to sembawang, den a thought came to my mind, why not eat the chicken rice there...hehehe! fast reaction right?? :P

so whn there to eat at Long House, and to my discovery, there were many food to enjoy! it was lively! so we settled on to chicken rice set A... chicken with rice, soup and beansprouts. hehe!

oh, and a fruit juice drink of mixed apple and honeydew! yummy!

den..i just realised that my moon roof can be opened!! so happy!!! ok i may sound bimbotic here...but i never took e time to explore it...hahhaa!! i haven got time to explore ok!?!? so dun blame me. :P

2008-04-12T13:26:00.003+08:00

today rained...saw someone's nick and the weather was worst than it seemed. sigh...if i were to ask him, he would find really good unbeatable excuse to make me believe it's not what i tot to be. he's....well u think i should forget him? I mean, i 've been treating him as a friend instead of the other. and seriously, i've gotten over him cos he's like the impossible kind to get together. it's the situational factors as well as his personality...

but of course, if he ever finds a girl, i'd gladly say congrats... cos i'm his friend. But he doesn't even wants to talk to me?!?!?!?! that's the saddest part of all....

shit, i'm lamenting again... ah! well well, i guess the solution would be to find more new friends...heeheehee!

hello, i'm not desperate here! i just want to forget the pain. and it need not be guys that i'm befriending with. itcan be girls, someone whom i can hang out with too...oh...talking abt that

the sec group i always hang out with..seemed to have drift away from me...or is it the other way round??? but anyway, i dread the feeling of being the extra in their group...sian lor!!!

so wanting to be with them..but...they all act as if i'm transparent? only when i speak, my self will reveal...like some harry potter scene man..

Below is an excerpt i created myself. hahaha!

yeelee says, 'hey, where you guys wanna go?'

others looked around in search for the sound, and realised that i'm just beside. only when they saw me, i reappear in human form. when i stopped, and their concentration no longer was on me, i helplessly dissolved into thin air, yelping for help in my mouth, with the sound in me.

'Hey Yee Lee, you want to go kbox?'

happy that they finally rmb me and talked to me, the automatic switch seemed to switch on by itself. I reappear immediately like those star wars lighting, that can serve as some comm. device.....u know whati'm talking abt?? the blue light with human pict...

ya..and i started to speak..but due to its kind..the transmission kind...i was interrupted and i zapped and switched off again...

so what can we learn from it in the social psych view? i'm some one who lives my life in accordance to what pple view me as... their view affects me... fogot the word, will come and write abt what it meant next time!

2008-04-11T23:40:00.003+08:00

today was such a pretty day! Drove to Sembawang to fix the door wisor? something u placed at the window so the rain wont come in when the window's opened.

seriously, i've not venture Sembawang before even though dad brought me there before to fix his car. It's just such a serene place i would like to live in!

although it's not a rich area district but the smell and the atmosphere...does resembles a very high class place. THat's if u minus those hdb flats..hahaha!

i like the bus ride very much! Cos it's cooling in the bus, plus the super duper natural scene outside, i felt as if i would go there to run and play just like i was a young little girl. FREEDOM!!!

the grass was so green and so wide so vast!!!!!!!!! i just love NATURE! really man, you will feel like hugging the floor of grass when u are there!

i wonder if we can just step in there to enjoy when there's a signboard called 'STATE LAND' ARGH.....

den we went to SUN PLAZA!!!!! it's yellow in colour and definitely resembles the sun's colour and the 'shine'. inside was simple..but was heartwarming because of the familiarity, the common-ness of the people's town heart! oh oh!!!! the VICTORY FAMILY CENTRE was also very grand! it looked just like those country club! It's the outlook i mean. oh my! i felt so happy!

it seems that the pple there are just so innocent! Even the little boy(teenager) who was workingath te NTUC fairprice talked in dialects with the ah ma when she asked how much the rice was.

it's just so simple...how i wish i'd stay there forever!

but the area there was rather far from 'civilisation' hahahaha! it's rather oolu. haha! oh oh!!!!

the schools...there are alot of sec and pri there and guess what i saw some of the sch's name?

Canberra(some name of some state...in aussie?? forgot and lazy to chck). den ENDEAVOR pri??? can u imagine?? what a word! den...montreal sec(pri)???? It's funny!

you know what i fantasized abt those greenery? ahahha!! running and enjoying the greenery with the one i love. lying there and rolling around with that chosen one...hahaha!

i know that's like so waht the hell...but..that's just an imagination, it doesn't have to be real because, with time so tight and work so high, taking time out would be a prob...

But i'll really love to go with the friend who never fails to talk to me abt his army life. haha! wait..am i giving a hint?? nah...i'm just writing my diary...and besides, he'll be too busy to read my blog anyway. MUAHAHA!!! oh..i'm not complaining abt him talking to me abt his army life but, that's significant enough to remember him as. hahahahahhahaha

2008-04-11T00:44:00.000+08:00

well...car's here and woah! Qy get to grace the honour..hahaha! She's lucky..haha...

felt like on top of the world now..hahaha! i need to put more petrol..and i need to drive more..hehehe!!

prob do it after exam...:P

den today went to SAMH, rather a great place...a santuary...? but the smell sucks... sorry destitutes(destiDUDES) HAHAHA!

but i must say the greatest part those pple in the homes did was, the PAINTINGS!!!! oh my! it's just so cooL! so like artist standard..muahaha!

oh btw, the assistant psychologist..forgot his name was really a tallguy.......AND SKINNY!!!!! ARGH!!! so tall..so xian mu! like a stick! but anyway...he carried himself well..with a kid in him when he talked to his fellow pple in there. haha! Cute.

den went to hougang mall with others.. beck, ariel, annie and qy.. wanting to take neoprinto..but..sian..super tired and not worth the money...den went home after that..

and before we even part...we actually took super long time to part man! laughing..nhahah!

arH!!! QY's funny joke!!! initiated by Wishnu...

'arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, OH my g~od!'

was what triggered my laughing bones...

2008-04-06T23:18:00.002+08:00

Today had been a boring day. Enjoyed the peacefulness because my bro wentto this bkt batok chalet to crash with his friends...sigh...how i wish i can play now...NOW!!!! i dun want to go back to sch...yes..tmr's monday and sch reopens....sigh!

i really wish i can go out with friends and enjoy life. Ok...sounds like i'm not a very sociable person..or some one from the mountains...i guess i'd agree to the latter... :(

I believe i'll b taking up photography job soon..as a partimer..cos this lady..kelly, she photographed me on sat yesterday for my makeover..hahah! it was done by Tina Tee, the senior make up artist manager?? She recognizes my mom..haha! She's such a nice lady...she made me remember of Linda Lee from WInalite..hahahahahahahahahahhaha!!! Her complexion was sooooooooo smooth and fair! oh my god!!!!

ok..den ya.. kelly helped our Monk's Hill to take the class fotos...i rmber her vividly cos of her hair face and demeanor! haha! she's good at teaching us how to pose..lol! BUt i guess i'm a lousy and stiff 'model' bleah!

i uploaded some pic or rather 1 pic on facebook..as well as msn dp.. :P

den partiming Venture Era, Mel's co.

i'll be busy den.. yeah!

2008-04-04T23:36:00.003+08:00

ok..if eel so wierd now..
happy and sad at the same time all thanks to Benjamin Yen.

argh...if he ever read this, he better be alive cos he should thank me for being his friend.He's so silly! he said he wants to die..i cant help much given my limited ability with counselling..argh.. i wish i could help but he's darn stubborn. He keeps repeating his sch cos he thinks it's his fault..right..take it as his fault...he only blames! havent he like udnerstood what his bible and his God told him abt life and that he had to treasure it?

he blames and never finds solution. what a waste? he cant think for goodness sake..why cant he? hes just plain lazy. BUt why are u tired of urself? cos u never change! c'mon he dun even bother to change...he dun even want to help himself what for the bystander to help? it must be an interaction thing u see...

i asked him to think back what he did back in the years he's in sch but..he chose not to...
well..that's bad abt msn..u cant force the person to think whereas face to face, u can...argh...i somehow feels like slapping him so he can wake up and find meaning in life again. imean the slap part is not meaningful..hahaha! but hopefully, he will socialize more, understand and be matured, change his bad habits and more positive stuff!

it would be a pity and a loss if he really find something to do that will make him end up on the headlines. It's just so not worth it. He'll be a fool if he goes for that.
den again, i know he'sgonna say ya watever, i am a fool and wouldnt it be good if i die..so there's no mor trouble for others... ah...he's ignorant..na.ive and a mockery himself. before he had all those tots..i tot he's rather a nice guy to be with except for those sarcastic remarks.

i cant say much...but happy cos...hmm...i enjoyed talking with yh? aiyah..that's like what??! i think i'll be happy if i work harder and not procrastinate..

Cheers to life!

2008-04-02T22:26:00.002+08:00

LOL!!! I DREAMT OF MYSELF BEING IN AN AGE OLD PLACE!!! yes...we got alot of plants at some crevasse and we wear those really drapy clothes. But the whole activity was rather special but dangerous. we have to keep putting special food like cookies crumbs, oil cement paste scraps and black stuff on different plants because different plants need different nutrients before they can grow really large as well as producing these special smell we humans cant reallly smell.

The sky den sounded the cries of the pterodactyls, and they were ready to attack the humans. They flapped their giant wings and making those swooshing sounds and flying at full speed, they swooped down the start of the crevasse and seeing that we had no time in putting more nutrients(fertilisers) we stopped everything and hid at some of the small caves...we stood by the sides like we were welcoming unwillingly. Passing above those plants, the pterodactyls began to fly weakly as the pungent smell rose under the hot sun to their noses.

after that, we continue and SiMin and me i guess, went around together some deserted place with house, stoney grounds* (cracked cements) in search for something which i forgot...sigh.. .dreams are always like this... iguess my ltm or stm memory isnt that good...hurhurhur, like jy...hahah!! that's why we're bro and sis! hahaha ok. that was lame...

anyway,bought a dress, two skirts(black and white) and this very emo dress(long sleeve ans high neck top and a wearover? that looked like some very long collar??? iono how to explain..)

and they're really nice!! muahaha! money money!

2008-03-31T23:04:00.000+08:00

There's so much things i want to say but first of all my dream...hahahahahha!!!

pathetically, i dreamt of Mr patrick in a wheelchair...and he's still our teacher...den...i kinda forgot most of the dream but anyway, in my dream, i know him as some one who is a sex maniac??? i'm sorry Mr Patrick but i still have to say cos it's just toooo funny. me and my fren i think din go for lesson and were punished for that by changing into this swimming suit with a split in the butt..i was like..what the hell????

den after that he asked the class to go down for environmental task..for eg...look at the flowers and observe thingey...den we have to take the lift from 2nd floor to the first.........via this Pokka vending drink machine. but we were captivated by this show on the vending machine...

den the scene changed to going to his house to explore and found outthat his room is in grey and white?? it was quite artistic though...

o' right... it was meant to be funny anyway...ha ha ha.....

and the school's no ordinary one..

ok...eh...i need to do more research on crowding...it's kinda difficult...plus i hven really find out on social stuff..still got blog to do...
i need to finish up my blog before anything cost he work is piling up like sky high...:(
Give me the Strength and focus!!!

2008-03-30T21:05:00.002+08:00

i'm not trying to say what...but the ultimatum is, this is a blog...a public diary which expresses the thoughts and feelings of the owner. Hence, if anyone wants to express any grievances....u just have to take it that way because it's rather hard for me to change my cognitive....Let alone any dissonance...

so...if you want me to change my attitude from the negative to the positive towards you, u need a haul of effort to do that....but still... it's kinda impossible... unless degrading urself from positive to negative image.

so don't blame on my selfishness and my stubbornness because to protect myself, i've decided to act on self-serving biasness.

2008-03-26T23:13:00.002+08:00

right...i asked Eric to read my blog and i juust realised that he might have thought the E would refer to him...thats why he din really like to say hi back on....tues... ya...

woah...i've always regard him as someone i respect and i think he's awfully great! friendly and fun. It's really great to have him as friend but sad to know that this is his last semester. :(

so no misunderstandings! and hopefully keep exploring my blog.

ok... my close friend now has someone who is going to take care of her... so envious... but...what to do in this campus? no... this 1 lvel of psych classes.... its not even a campus. so what i hopefully wish is to know more pple from the outside world...not thru internet, as emphasised previously. Jack Johnson's sitting waiting wishing. haha!

2008-03-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

MUAHAHA!!!! SNICKERS Like Stephen Chow...

it's coming soon..yes...freedom...the one that will take me wherever i want!!! yes...in another few weeks time! yesssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....................

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies and Gentlemen, I'm honoured to bring to you the ultimate car of the year, the best that you will get. one that you would not want to miss, one that will let you drool. May i have the greatest honour to present to you the car of the year!!!!!

Toyota Rav4!!!!!!!

2008-03-23T23:58:00.002+08:00

If that person is reading this, i'd like to appeal to that person( and we shall refer him to E), not to think that i'll be amazed by your skill of dancing or anything that you're good at because seriously, i only treat u as a very very normal fren. I wouldnt like people whom i think would worth my consideration and i don't like online friends meeting up. I know that my fear of that has yet to overcome but still, i would prefer to stick to my own life and not have any meet-ups with pple from net.

That would put me in the safe mode and prevent myself from meeting wierd pple like E, and even This guy from WAYN, called Ryan, whom i know is 30 odd???

i know my love luck's super lousy but please, dun fill that category up that says, " i'd like to know more about you." You're making my life even miserable.

and if E, you really want to meet up as friend, fine...u'll have to see when i can and whether it's so called 'on the way' for me. if i'm outside and u wanna meet up, i'll make do with it. but I won't specially leave my house, putting on make up, putting extra confidence or even feeling hopeful when i meet u, E.

SO YOU GEDDIT ' !?!

amitabah...i'm sorry that i spoke in that tone. *Calmsssssssssssssssss.................*

2008-03-23T23:26:00.004+08:00

WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW! what can i say about the easter celebration concert at St Andrew's Cathedral on 23rd March 2008!?!?!?!

It was awesome! It was breathe-taking and it was magnificent! It was also inspiring and elegant........

Conductor, Guitarist and Harpist Alvaro Sanchez is from France and he came all the way from Europe to Singapore to perform with the orchestra of gifted musicians. I must say that they all performed beyond perfect. I guess i said that becos of the nice warm ambience and with God's presence i guess. It's magnificant!

The pieces below are what the orchestra as well as Alvaro performed. Btw, i would like to admit that i like his flamenco guitar and his soloist part!

1. Concert in D major by Vivaldi

- Allegro 1st movement

- Largo 2nd movement

-Allegro 3rd movement

2. He is Exalted (with 'O For a Thousand Tongues To Sing')

3. As The Deer ( with 'my Faith Looks Up to Thee')

4.Give Thanks ( with 'Now Thank We All Our God')

5. Great is The Lord

6. Glorify Thy Name (with 'We will Glorify')

7. Lord I will Lift Your Name On High ( with 'All Hail The Power of Jesus' Name')

8. MOre Precious Than Silver (with 'when i survey The Wonderous Cross')

9. I Love You Lord (with ' My Jesus, I Love Thee')

10. Shine Jesus Shine

11. Shout To The Lord

Thanks to the orchestra and Alvaro....i've decided to take up violin...hahaha!!!!

Hail The Lord....Thank God for this beautiful music tonight.

Happy Easter!!!!!

2008-03-23T16:16:00.004+08:00

hmmm....ok i forgot what i want to write.

the crime scene we did for forensic was great! we were busy thinking who to suspect and blame.

ok...den later i'm going to st andrew's cathedral for my fren's church..well..i cant say no when being asked to go for many times...so out of courtesy u see....

den the last 2-3 days chatted with this 'old' fren.his looks is so...totally indescribable......and he definitely looked like someone who's not cool to be with...unlike people who speaks great english with english sense of humour. eg, eric, vivian, mikael, ming, christopher from sec cum jc....isa, daniel, shaun, ...etc etc...
i'm not saying that mine's that great either..but it's my preference...
but anyway...my bottom line would be, i dun really like people who's not cool looking to know me thru online stuff... haha!!!

yes i know...biased...but...that's me...i rather know someone not so good looking in person..like thru sch?!?!?!?!? yes!!!

ok...den meeting with rach for swim this coming thur...sian...life's so short! this u can ignore cos i'm just rambling...

adios

2008-03-15T23:28:00.002+08:00

well i've created a newer blog.....especially for my social psychology homework...yes..it's part of the grading...though content i'm not sure.

www.socia-log-yeelee.blogspot.com!
recently...i've been slacking..and did i say i was so confused and so emo and so argh...all messed up like some tangled string when Sharon left? well...tues was the last day and i was rather dumb not to talk to her more and made my presence more significant and not taking picture with her....so i was sooooconfused...and so coincidentally, well, i'm not sure whether this is some chicken and egg story but i had my period that day...it could due to the stress and confusion i stated above that brought forward my period or my period made me so confused and all that i felt above...argh..

yes yes i know i know what you're thinking when i mention period...eh...be scientific can!? and not being sexism or wathever u wanna think and talk abt...besides..i'm rather...eh.....open about stuff if you are. yes..i;m socially defined..so if u are someone i thought as great, you got a grip over me!

hey hey..why am i giving out my secrets?! hahaha! watever...anyway..i guess i'll need to buck up on my hardworkingness..i've been procrastinating and feeling oh so lazy these twoo weeks.

i'll love if someone would msn me...right now!

Ciao!

2008-03-10T22:35:00.002+08:00

I want to take this opportunity to thank Sharon Casey, a forensic psychologist who's teaching us lot. she's experienced and she's cute and funny! yes...cute because she sometimes act as some little girl......welll..i've been trying hard to find a chance to talk to her personally but i guess i can try my best.

she's leaving tmr...and i'm going to miss her. yes i am going to miss her info filled lessons although i admit that i sometimes drifts off and find myself not able to understand what she had said for the past 1 minute. i tried hard to catch myself back even though there's help of a recorder....in fact 2! hhah! but it's better to experience it myself and getting down to work out a way to re write the notes she gave us. in fact her notes are greater than any lecturers i've seen. eh...am i bias!?!?!?! oh my!

because she comes from the southern aussie, she carries a heavy quick speaking aust accent that i couldnt make out what she was talking during the first lecture! hahahah! but yeah, i got used to it and started to perk up becos she now sounds more sensible to me. haha i mean her accent!

yes..i think i'm going to speak eng in aust accent sooner or later...i guess im going to forget my brit accented(fake) eng....oh...it was recently acquired back bythe help of pirates of the carribean:curse of the black pearl show on channel 5 yesterday. yes t'was set in Britain...so i managed to speak like them.

and yes..as long as it's not american accent, though it sounds more luscious...i hated it somehow..esp after today!

yes today 1-2 ladies of i dunno what race were they and what country they were brought up from, spoke so deliberately in american accent and acting like pure b****y american bl**des! i guess i'm influenced too much by the tv shows...but yeah! speaking with such eng with such actions like u're proud and almighty with others bowing low to you!

argh!! but one point to make here.

she knows her stuff and yea..i respect her for that....

once more, sharon! i love you!...ok....i guess enough of my idol praising

oh have i told anyone that she changed my views and interest to forensic now? oh my..though there's so many readings to read! whhich i hated, i think it's worthwhile???? dunno..but yeah. forensic's cool!

2008-03-04T19:47:00.002+08:00

3rd march was the start of the school term oready and it started off with social psychology, taught by John L Tan. Well...he's a sociologist and he's rather ok...social psych was rather difficult because of its nature...well...cant say much.

stats and env were taught by patrick and it was a sleepy afternoon...hahaha! sorry patrick.

hahahahaha!

oh, Alevel's coming out this fri. imma go back to sch to help out.

there isnt much to blog so yup....catch me around soon!

2008-03-02T00:11:00.004+08:00

KRIS PHILLIPS is the best of all men and the role model for us to learn from. Girls will fall for him and guys will be jealous of him!

ENJOY! WATCH MORE OF HIS SUCCESS FROM YOUTUBE!

2008-03-01T01:31:00.000+08:00

OH I SWEAR THAT THE FOTOS THAT I'M IN DOES NOT IMPLY THAT I'M PREGNANT EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKED LIKE! IT'S THE WIND!!!!

Born New

a change of life

He's JUST NOT THAT into you

today and 1st May

Fires between Nokia and Sony Ericsson. LOL

finally, a piece of art in mind

embarassment

V day

wierd day tmr

pre valentine?? iono

what a day to kick start life

mixed feelings

socially fake

facial facade

SIGHS!

goodbye 2008 and seriously, not very welcoming 2009

童星 ,释小龙 和 郝劭文

i'm loving Sundays!

christmas carnival!!

reality vs surreality???

it's still abt me!

not abt me or abt me??

model of the day. LOL!

Flying away

MEN- ironic yet the same

privacy? i did respect

recent update

LIfe Goes on with new found pal

Olympic Ogle

童星 ,释小龙和郝劭文