Sunday, 22 February 2009
a change of life
Right, i've decided to write the 202th entry to mark the end of this blog that depicted my life since may 1 2007.
why the change you would ask. well... while i was bathing after a badminton session with the badminton khakis at bishan sports hall, it made me think abt how i'm going to be a changed person.... oh, btw the 'it' means the wierd feeling after the game and how the words from a so called coach told me just now.He said that i need to find someone to practise my basic skills....well of course my skills are lousy as compared to others... and those experts are trained in school, by proper coach..
right so tell me where to get a 'proper' coach?
i'm going to get it and this so called 'determination' from it and the 'determination' from learning music from ben makes me feel as if i'm accomplishing something i've dreamt abt.
well...what i dreamt abt is to pursue what i want, like with freedom?? like paying with my own money...of course i've yet to find a job...going to find one soon...monday..going to call the photography job..
so pursuing music is what i like... exercising is also what i wanted, but in this case, cos i'm not that 'welcome' and as a lousy communicator, i failed to talk to many pple and build rapport with them. and this exercising thing is soon going to flop cos .... i just dislike the feeling of being the odd one out. even sandra gave me this wierd look.... of unfamiliarity and awkwardness..
i dunno.. i guess if my skills are there, i'll be slightly happier in there.
and btw, my arms and thighs ache like shit. plus, i did alot of heavy moving of the washing machine, my arms are totally flabby and why i still can type this entry out, it's becos the love for blogging.. muahaha! ok..lame
anway, the 'determination' to find a job and to do part time while i am studying makes me feel that many things would turn for the better.... The year of the Ox should be at least a better year?? cos...i'm starting to get in touch with pple, starting to see why i should focus even more in perhaps studies.. my future... my ....pgd...
no need them to email me, i oso noe i am not going to make it into the Hons...
right... with many new things going to come up in my life...i feel really excited abt it and i would like to... take this opportunity to tell everyone who reads my blog that i'm converting my style of blogging from lamentation to LESSONS IN LIFE!
yeah!! *applause*
so for eg. guys are not into me, i'll say it such that the post goes like this:
¬¬¬¬
Lesson no. 1 He's just not that into you (the show coincides btw)
****blah blah like Alex......****
¬¬¬¬
get it? haha! i feel like a teacher...
Saturday, 21 February 2009
He's JUST NOT THAT into you
Watched the touching show 'he's just NOT that into you.'
it soooooooooo reflect how i felt and what all i did and all those misunderstandings i went thru!!!
the signs, girls linking up things guy does, girls fantasizing..... damn, Alex in that show was so right.
his role made me think alot. but same for GiGi that character. she made me feel that i should just clear up the misunderstanding i had wth yd.
i think i;ll just msg him to meet up to talk abt it. despite him who had already put everything at the back of his mind. i'll just have to say everyting clearly...so i wont dream or even make the same the mistakes of linking all the 'signs' up and make a fool out of myself.
but of course, according to Alex in the show, if guys really like you, they will be in contact with you, and girls just dun bug them or call them... urgh!
this is the part i dread the most.. he nv call and you'll be wondering why he didnt. and why didnt he reply my msg when he said he will..
all these... are so irritating. well.. for me, i kinda get things like these like,.... all the time..
so yah.. now i know where i stand... sigh..
i told qy abt yd, and she said that her fren is a 'GOOD PLAYER' that is, well i din exactly interpret full what she meant but she means that just frens and dun be into the whole mood of love first???
i dunno... but yeah.. .that is always the case, isnt it?? guys will initiate and girls just wait... even tryin to 'casually' stopping by his workplace would be a 'great' bad idea.
So am i still going to msg him to say that i wanna talk abt the misunderstanding??
oh, haha... until now, qy or whoever reads my blog still dunno what is the whole misunderstanding abt.. haha.. i think jy knows.
but anw, it's not the misunderstanding abt musically inclined thing but rather, it's the misunderstanding abt 'trying to hit on you', abt ' linking every actions up that i thought will lead to a bloody thing', and abt the 'blog for best frens and not for public to read' and perhaps some other details that are not so specific. ithink... i dunno...
so... i guess i'll just be GiGi for another moment, but i'll just text, and nt call. text that imma meet up with him someday to talk abt this... and this someday has to be soon. if not, i will feel guilty....
or according to the show, i dunno how the guy will think.??? hhaha.. right.. so funny.
anw, i like the part when GiGi got back home with Bill sending her off ( alex's fren, whom she tot was fictitious), den alex came all the way, wanting to tell her how much he became her( symptoms of liking someone) and gg was like saying, 'someone wise told me... blah blah'
PLUS!! with MY FAV SONG!!!
KEANE'S SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW
IT makes this confession scene sooo touching!!!!!! seriously... cos this song itself is very melodious, melancholic but inspiring...... and now, with this scene... my tears welled up in my eyes.
my God! lucky i watched it with my best female frens. i was able to relate how i felt over the whole issue and now i'm kinda enlightened by this show, i am.. haha! relieved in a way.
and i think i'm kinda lucky not to watch this show with dinnie and yd...if not... what the hell, i'm going to feel so embarrassed! cos i think both of us know...the scene when alex told gigi that he din like her at all and gigi was oh so embarrassed for showing her love by kissing him.
she cried of course, and.. blah! i did too. cos i feel she's just too pitiful....but i'd say brave becos what she said to alex was so true.... not like.. mr alex!? for that moment, i felt that Alex was a jerk for saying that outright infront of her!!!
ah... its 1238am, oh... yes..
he just msn-ed me...cos i just realised i'm on ebuddy... no signals to tell me he msn-ed me..
ya...he said i gotta chill... yeah... stillllll i sense something'sstill missing? ok gotta chill...
clear sky now.. BLUE SKY - A-Ha!
check it out! it's a great song!
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
today and 1st May
Finally, the 200th post has come... still, do i change??? perhaps not... cos.. whatever i 've written, the public had seen it... and this ' public ' sounded rude, after 1 incident...
so, i guess i gotta be careful in what i say in the future........just keep quiet lor.. abt this blog, i'll just be discreet... i guess... i'll have to rvert back to writing my feelings in a diary book...tangible and not the internet...
..................................................!........................!!........
ok, today, my dad brought his car to the shop to paint a scratch...
den i went to queenswy to by badminton shoes. .yay!!! it was fast..cos the colour was great and the size, even thoughit says 40.5, it fits nicelyfor my feet.. very happy!!! yayy!!!
after that, went to isetan, oh my goodness... there is fair again! there is ths.. TOSA jap fair... and they have this pastry made of total sweet potato, it's cold and it's SUPER NICE!!!!!!
bought one. thought of giving to yd, but since he said he dun like pple to visit him and see his terrible face, i just forget the whole thing... and i think i was dumb to ask a qn that might have hurt anyone...sigh... another mistake in life.....
ok, then, ate udon which is handmade, and sauce... bought it. then ate crispy fish...its small... and has black sesame. it sweet too. yum~
den ate, tomato jelly. can you believe it??? oh my god!!! SO YUMMY!! so is yuju--- what we call citron, 柚子.
it's very refreshing!!! they also have citron or yuju soy sauce?? urgh, it tasted, wierd.. sour like vinegar but salty like those soy sauce... but it was nice. :D
den they had sorbet of different flavour...HEAR PROPERLY, ITS DIFFERENT FLAVOUR!!
english tea, citron, orange... etc.. i din eat them all..cos... many pple were there.. and i was tired with the heavy music book...
den, bought an apple ..pie??? from sun moulin. it was soooonice!!! the apple slices are not thin but thick! no sour taste but nice sweet pleasant meat of the apple... oh my god!!! i'm more in love with apple now!!!
i love apples.. really... all kinds... can i have my english name as apple?? but that's my fren's nick oready... cherapple?? eww.. no.. sounds wierd.
ok, so .. oh wait... before we even went to isetan, my mom and i walked the dfs shopping. checked outthe watch area... i was feeling high cos it's watch!!! my dad said that he's going to get me a watch..
yay!!! i'm soo excited! my bday's coming and nv knew it came that fast..and i'm definitely going to have a nice party... inviting my frens to come.. wow
but seriously, i dunno where... i dunno where to hold that party... any suggestions??
but the criteria would be that i want games, and mingling session, if anyone wants, they can sing...and muahaha, invite Ben to play the piano..
WOW!!! sounds like i'm such a princess.. hhahaha! an ugly princess indeed.. i cant imagine.. seriously.. cos 1st, i dun know of anyone whom i can hold long convo with.. which is sad... 2nd, not rich enough
3rd, not flashing enough to tell pple i 'm the star today...cos of my complexion... and perhaps my braces?? ahaha braces is not in the list anyway. in another words, plain and ugly.
4th, i dun have a nice house, so i cant invite pple to my house,, unlike my school mate from sec, Reine. she got nice big house... and she invited people to play the violin and cellos... of course,, that i dunno for what occasion.
5th...etc..
yeah, my mom's going to give me key pendnt or some necklace.. wow... i love them to bits.. not that i'm materialistic.. but judging from the way they splurge the money despite financial low ability, i am really grateful to them...
probably, i'll just list down the pple i want to invite, tentatively..
(JCU)Qy and her bf(hopefully), Annie, Jessie, Wisnu, esther?? louis?? jy?? corlizz??, rebecca group??, melissa and group??
(JC)Simin, Adeline, Rebecca, michelle, sock shyan.
(Sec) jo, cy,hwee, jade? yuehan?? hansong??? ws?? xavier?? conrad?? handi??
btw,, those sec with ??, they are more like the group frens of mine.. not like best buddies.. cos irarely mingle with them like cy hwee and jo... dunno la.. see how..
if they want to ask them along, it's going to be great. cos it's wierd to invite them myself..
as well as jcu and jc ones...
ok... den, perhaps... dinnie, ben, yc...ching?? nicolas???the badminton khakis?? jiesheng and aunt( my cuzzie), paulvin singh and family??, (xiewli, aaron and uncle??),
looks like there's alot.. hahaha, but pple, anyone i know, if u want to come, perhps you can msg me? den i see if the place is enuff for fill that many pple first..not that oyu're not impt in my life.. cos i believe that everyone has an effect on everyone they know/ :D:D:D
but depends on what kind of place i book, cos even the above pple, i might have to sdly, remove from the list. ya.
probably, i might get a chalet or somethin?? so whoever wants to stay over, can do so... i'm sure there will be games.. going to consult my JC SC and debators for games... hehehehe!!! oh, whoever knows, please tell me! thanks
oooh... i m sooo excited!!!
Monday, 16 February 2009
Fires between Nokia and Sony Ericsson. LOL
i realised that i'm so cut off from the world outside.... sigh....when can i really get out of my shell??
i'm sure it's all got to do with nature and nurture. how the family shapes you and how you're born makes a great difference to what kind a person is and how they interact.
anyway, it's my 2nd last post, i want to end it with a bang.. but on the other end, i dun wish to change....
should i change??
anyway. sad topic please shoo....
*Tong tong, mic test*
* 'ahem'. the emcee clears his throat into the mic, pulled his blazer proper and braced himself up and smile. He speaks into the mic with the utmost enthusiasm.*
* "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MAY WE STAND AND WELCOME THE MOST HAPPENING PHONE OF THE YEAR AND FOR THE FOLLOWING YEAR. PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR SONY ERICSSON, X1.
XPERIA!!!!!!!!!!!!
(((((((( That above was written on 16 feb,))))))))
* some one barges in the big grand doors, and stood there, panting. guards at the back finally chased up and stood there, gaping at the bad situation that was going to happen.*
*It's a lie! dont believe single word he said.*
* mumbles..and wierd looks at the man that barged in*
*"nokia 5800 and E75 are far more advanced and stable than X1. what's important is the price."*
*more and louder gasps*
* beaded sweats trickles down the round and baldy forehead of the emcee. he swallowed, his adam apple went down like the lurch of his stomach, and up.*
*" take a look at yourself, pity yourself! attending a gala that is one big illusion. thinking you're the best?? go and look at your reflection in the tiny surface of your wine. your reflection stares back at you, utterly disfigured. would you accept yourself in believing all these so called 'truths'? all these so called, prestige? "
* ladies and gentleman, may we resume our opening of the latest handphone? may we, ignore this filthy, insane unruly man? He of course, is not speaking the truth. he is a bold as a lion but as foolish as a ~~~~can we say mule here?? i forgt what animal to use here~~~~
Guards, please escort this gentleman out."*
*" Foolish people! dun take a word from that man, HE'S LYING! HE'S LYING. NOKIA 5800 AND E75 ARE BETTER THAN X1! "*
*The door shuts tightly and there is an air of uncertainty. mumbles start and the emcee brings the mic quickly to his dry lips. " Accept my apologies for that embarrassing moment. That was
not expected in today's programme though. May we turn our attention to our Chairman of Sony Ericsson as he speaks about the ever first windows mobile handphone for son ericsson? please put our hands together to welcome, mr. ......"*
* as the chairman speaks, one brave soul stands up suddenly and shouted, 'you're absolutely lying! how can you be so thick-skinned to promote your product when the whole thing is not revised and tested? you should have done more surveys!'*
O right, right up to now, guess who that brave soul?? the twin of the man who barged in.
ok ok... that will spoil the ending... it's actually a spy from the nokia.
*" As a police, i have the right to arrest you for your groundless claims and claims that will dothe market no good. You may remain silent but whatever you say may be used as an evidence against you. May i have my colleagues escort you from the stage?'*
just as finished his sentence, the chairman, scoot off quickly, as 2 body guards from the company bring him to the back door to escape. the police officer in his nice blazer, along with others gave chase.
gun shots were heard, and the crowd screamed and bent down to hide under the tables. some ran around to find the exit, trying to escape. it was the secretary of the chairman's that pulled the trigger. the policemen took cover and both xchanged a few rounds before the secretary ran out of bullets. he made a run for the back door and a few shots almost hit him. but alas! he escaped even though the police ran up to the topmost floor because they took flight.
the moral of the story goes like this: please compare and ask around first before deciding on one thing.
sigh... this story took a twist after my fren told me the pros and cons of both kind of hps. and that's 17th feb
but nevermind... just use it...
finally, a piece of art in mind
right...chatted with ben from 330 like that toabt 6 plus??? i need to read up alot of things..cos most of the tiime it's him who's talking..sigh.. so sad for me... no input..
den decided like so happily that he will teach me piano. so we went up to united sq this floor where kids learn instrument.den he chose a grad 1 theory exam booklet..
he took abt 1 hour i think to teach me the basics..
paying him of course, he's a dip in music piano.. wow! but glad to have met a fren like him
it's worth it.
i cant believe i'm learning music!!!!!!!!
i am soooo excited!!!!!!!!!!
oh my God....Thank God for all these arrangement. finally a chance to learn... imust really put my heart into it becos i long wanted to learn.
i like listening to classical music...and i like singing... dancing to the rhythm...aesthetic.. wow...
but no confidence so no more dance.. but i still like it alot... :)
i actually like violin.. but no body i know of can play...and yamaha at ps charge 107 in a group per mnth.
i still have my reserves bah...
i saw a piano.. it's around 6600. ex right??? walao...
violin... about 1000???
guitar about 770...
sian...
but for the love of music... i'll perservere..
his image still imprints in my mind, hardly fading away. i may have gave him the wrong impression and disappointed him. but i guess, there's no hurry. :)
Sunday, 15 February 2009
embarassment
al right... he really read my blog....sucks to the core man...
actually wanted to stop writing after 200 entries but he made it clear to me via sms abt e musical inclined issue...
i realised something... wat ever he said, he meant it like.. innocently?? or rather... he sees it as one plane... whereas me or if u want... girls generally would see it in 2 planes or more...
haha
sounds mathematical
well.. it's just me that's extra... cos....he did tell me once that he lost faith.... dunno anyone would be faithful to him... and he dunno to find one or not or he meant it as he's not ready kinda stuff...
dots.... i just realised that the 'watever' in is preventing me from becoming a good counsellor...
i need to be precise!! help me!!!
ok, back to the topic..yeah... so i am now totally embarrassed...
and he didnt pop The Qn, so i'll just stay s it is-- Friends
anyway, i shall treat him like how i treat ben- brother... older or younger?? older perhaps, cos i m a blur queen?? lol.. watever la... my role now is like a counsellor and a fren.
all right
whoever reads my blog, thanks for patronizing, and JY and Rebecca, i know you're reading my blog too.. hahaha!!!
People who reads my blog, just msn me to get the new url. i thank u all..
*bows*
ok..decide to fill the last 4 entries with other stuff. :)
PS to Yan: if you happen to read my blog, please, dun worry, there's no misunderstanding seriously!!! they are all my rants, nothing much... afterall, i noe how to view things!!! i know how to counsel myself... so ya... no misunderstandings but frens. :)
Saturday, 14 February 2009
V day
Happy V day to all kinds of pple!!!
today met up with Danny, before that, i called uncle francis and realised that there's no badminton! alamak!!! so i decided to meet yd at 7.
ok.... danny's 19 and i'm 21...that's 2 yrs diff... and we think differently too. he's a thinker, he likes to do things alone and he's a leader himself... great for guy like that. but he thinks too much i guess, we rarely talk... and wierdly we talk more of ns stuff when we walk around ps area. wanted to watch movie to tide time but there's no availabe time. he's very nice to walk around with me despite having blisters on his feet.
he's got nice pair of eyes, though, big and intense pair. of course, a nice smile. that's not including his teeth. hahahahah!!!
how mean right?? whatever, i say what i feel though, but there's no harm seriously!!!
yeah, i told him that i m meeting a fren, but i went back home instead, felt bored though...
met yd at bishan eventually and watched the wedding game or matter... it's super funny!!! my god!!!
esp the wrestling part... or rather slightly b efore that part! i laughed till i nearly had asthma!!! and sadly, i laugh disgracefully infront of yd... it's v day and i shouldnt do that...must be more feminine abit.
but heck la... it's funny and i m not going to restrain myself. be it my bf or potential guy bside me. muahahahahahahahaha!!!!
bought drinks from Mac and later, he told me to wait, i wait by playing with straws and later, he pop out and say, for you ..(i think. cos i'm shocked that he would buy) i was like... happy but surprised. i nv tot he'll buy. cos
1stly, i treated him as friend... and i thought he treat me the same way too.
2ndly, i tot normally guys will give when they meet e girls immediately. but he gave like in the middle??? or rather when we're going home.
3rdly, i dun see the need when we;re frens... but of course, v day, a day where guys thought it would be gentleman to buy a flower for a girl.
anyway,, it's a full bloomed one.. as compared to the one danny bought me... he said it's a complimentary gift.. like that kind of 1st time meeting gift?? yeah...
but i kept my tots abt the flower...
we walk around market and best denki...and i was still drinking my drink... milo... and i kinda got high i think...and i think i said something really wrong...
i said im attracted to guys who are musically inclined... and he said.. i'm not that kind of guy who's musically inclined.. i'm musically retarded. den the anti climax came, i said, who's attracted to you............
.............*crows fly by*...........*red flushes*.........*deep embarrassment* cos he said something that meant like 'i dun mean that i like you, and yo're getting the wrong idea! i dun like you, you're just a friend!?!?'
sigh.... i guess i'm high on milo... and on that show too. blame it on the v day i think... but seriously, he's quite gentleman.
....
and btw, i'm notthe only female fren any guy have only lor, including yd.
and he's just broke up with his gf.. i saw two neoprints in his wallet though, with his gf. really pretty. but it's just a glimpse anw.
so yeah bck to that awkardness, he said he's going washroom. so i went there too... i feel bad...
we din speak when we were walking to the mrt... he sent me home... that's very sweet.. or rather...just another job of a gentleman a guy would do???
oh... at the mrt station, i told him that the flower that's fully bloomed is for older ladies.. i think or matured women?? i forgot...but he said next time i buy you seeds.
and when we watched the wedding game, i was puzzled when i noticed there's no rest bar on my left. i sat at the inner most column, so he's on my left. yeah i even fiddled around to see if theres's really no rest bar forthis cinema.
whatever la... today was great. :0)
Friday, 13 February 2009
wierd day tmr
hmm.... jy and rebecca read my blog??? oh my goodness.. i gotta really stop writing abt yd... oh ya.. yd oso reads my blog!! alamak!!! must refrain.... must refrain....
ok... i still feel wierd when i look at yd... cos... he's just to small sized!!! makes me feel so big sized... that's the prob i think... it's me that i cant get over bah....
and also , he's really not in my category of guys!!! how??!! (a BIG W for whatever, and L for Loser...and M for me..... :'(
tmr's a wierd day... and even wierder at night. playing bad with ben tgt with bad seniors.. so excited!!!! and yes.. i've yet to buy my badminton shoes...
anyway, the wierd part is, not going for dinner after badminton , but go to changi airport or ecp?? that's far man! going to starve....
narf narf..
right... v day need not to be couples going for candle light dinner or spending time together... meetup with frens like that stupid ben is one example.... but ok la... playing bad still ok... :D
qy's alvin went to LA how cool is that!!?!?!?? oh my god!!! i soooooooooooooooooooo feel like going abroad now.. esp to western countries... even the nearest australia i oso can....
ya... but anyway really wish to meet guys of the category. :)
and it's like every v day, i'll just treat it as another happy occasion cos everytime, eg jc, you see pple giving and getting beautiful flowers, and sc setting up the V day booth... you feel happy for them!!! oh my... i so miss my jc days!!!! and that reminds me of Chalit... i tot i had feelings and he had feelings for me too... but...i guess he kinda felt offended, becos instead of talking happily with him as always on the train, i read my notes....please.... i hope he understands that im studying for my exam!! it's going to be A levels then!! well he din understand i guess cos he's not in my position.... he din board the same train as me le... sad...
and untill now, i dun feel the excitement from him when i talked like once on msn, with him.
argh... so many kinds of pple are on earth man!! personality... a great topic to study!
pre valentine?? iono
Right, or left by rule...
i havent seen the guy i like for a long time. yes , a diff of 1 week tortures me. I guess i needa try to forget the hope of meeting him for a while before i get the chance to meet him again.
It's more like some fate or destiny matter, the more u wish to be with, the more you're not going to be wit him.
and yandao asked me out for movie, but i suggested daimaru's jap food. too bad mom cooked great thai food, i cant eat the jap food. seriously, the tom yum koong was great man!! not too hot.. i just love it!!! oh my god!!!!!!!! and the morning glory vege (thai vege) was an oomph! cos theres bao yu abalone sauce. yummay!
so, i decided to drive ourselves to daimaru. he ate some katsu curry... :) i ate salad... it was super salty... -_-"
ate strawberry champagne gelato... nice and makes u feel feminine and in a celebrated mood. literally yes...
walked around kino and later, clarke quay... he's complaining that i should bring him to CQ instead of the very little shoppers daimaru.... eh arlow! it's the food i want u to taste ok??? darn... watever... will go to CQ if we're drinking... haha!!! today no time to go CQ and enjoy the night la... can??
hahaaa!! den walked in central,, to find the shop Gobi....ah.. so he was talking abt the shop that i told my mom i want to taste their stuff.
den send him home to kembangan... super rich ok!!! i'll exchange anything for that kinda house for my family... hahaha!!!
and so.... 'lucky' his aunt saw me!!! so jia lat now... and mr yandao said i am his gf... wth? scandalous...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i hope he's joking though.... be frens still ok... close friend no prob... but ...going out like once only, you expect a girl to be ur gf?? that's wierd ok? admit i had good time just now...but...isnt that too fast? its even faster than Alvin with QY. and alvin's tall.. nt saying that short's bad..but while we were walking thru CQ back to carpark, i felt a wierd notion from this guy who looks not bad but abt the same height as yandao, and he's got a gf. he looked at me den to yd.... and he looked kinda mildly shocked....
i felt uneasy...
but watever la... just treat everybody as friend..with equality... we the citizens of singapore, pledge ourselves as one united pple. regardless of race, language or religion. to build a democratic society based on justice and equality, so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation.
u think i should go for tmr's meeting with him?? i got something on though....dunno!!!!! help me!!!
oh, abt him...he's funny but...i can barely find any common topic to talk with him... sigh...this might lose my chance to be friends with him...or haha!!! may this be a chance to lose him as potential one becos i'm boring him with wierd accents and wrong eng??? haahahahahahahA
oh, we passed by central, and saw this station selling valentine's stuff with roses... he asked if i want... i answer no thanks almost without thinking. and he said, you should say yes.
i was like... er... is this about social etiquette?? i need to go for some etiquette class man.... sigh..
but i just gave him some good excuse... to save money....
should have said yes, cos he's spending like a flick of an ice from the iceberg of his wealth! hhahahahahaha!!!!
but watever la... flower,... are nice to smell and have and whatever, but they just dun last... seeing them wither makes me feel even sadder cos i cant always keep the bloom... pic of them is....so fake.
no teddy bears cos they collect dust only... no choc....cos they will make girls gain weight only..and my braces look dirty.. hahaha!!!
what else??no ..wait.. i'm listening to majula singapura on tv... at 2am... hahahaha!!
reminds of my jc days...sigh....
ok back to dos and donts... ok... aas long asthey can be used... keychains... books..notepads....pens. (of course with quality please.. hahahaha) etc....
but anyway... valentine's day i'm busy... :P
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
what a day to kick start life
watched ' The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'
and it was so touching!!! it's inspiring and made me think abt life.... brad pitt was attractive even if he's old. even more charming when he's young in his 30s to 40s. i love the ballet dancer Daisy.
my goodness...its a movie that surpass many movies i've watched. it's indescribeable.
i need more time to blog abt it. but it would be faster if you watch it. it's about 2 and 1/2 hr movie.. very nice... but u needa go to the washroom first before u watch. cos i bear untill cannot le den went out of the cinema, missing out the parts. ;(
benjamin's voice's sexy too. got the accent of New Orlean citizen. ;)
watched it with Dinnie and her church fren, yan. or yan chao. or yan dao.. LOL! no he's notthe last one. he's ordinary and we're taller than him yes... Dinnie and I are tall accordin to Yan haha!!! haha!! den he got tiger teeths. haha! and he's skinny... feeling jealous abt that... wat the hell?? i'm feeling fat now... but serious i'm gaining mass...a lot of extra fatty meats are forming...
ok... he asked me out on V day. damn daring huh? never had this kind of encounter. feeling great. :) perhaps the year of the Ox is a good year for me?? iono...needa check out for my zodiac.
and cos V day is sat, got alumni meeting in e morning and Danny a new found friend on fb meeting me in e afternoon. dun get any wrong idea here, i dun expect him to be anyone impt but just friend cos i think he's younger n hes from ITE. but i agreed to meet up cos he gave me the impression that his eng's good.. .at least better than some 22 years studying tp guy...he said, " me study biz"
is that short form or bad eng? shouldnt it be I'M studyING biz. and he dun look good looking... to me at least... i dunno abt others of him... so i shouldnt be saying much abt him. :P:P:P
sorry!!! i'm a straightforward person.
in e night 7pm, there's badminton..with my dad's bad's khaki i told u before. i'm kinda guilty that i missed that gathering last sat.... i really wish to go cos there's Matthias, the lawyer to be cute charming son of uncle raymond... and i believe he's not going to be there this sat... i feel no confidence at all when i see him... he's too cool... but i'd like his kind. he's like in the 'category of dream guy'. LOL!!
i'm feeling wierd anyway... liking different pple... :S
forget abt everything... take it as it comes... but then... pple would say opportunities are self created... and they dun come by easily or often.
sigh... i sounds like i feel like controlling my fate... my life... i feel like i want to be special!
life's full of surprises and yet some unwanted....
right... so i told yan that can go supper after badminton...:) u know why?? cos he suggested clubbing for an alternative after i said no time for him on sat but after badminton... and he said he 'messed up'. funny... ben would forbid me to go clubbin whereas yan asked me to go clubbing... haha!!!
oh btw ben is my fren... that's all... he's lame... and he's childish..argh!
haha!!! anyway... abt the height... cos i'm taller, this might pose some prob.. but but... that all depends on him bah? i'm ok de la...
but but... nothing's been clear yet...so i'm not hoping... i'll be treating him as friend though.. super normal fren... who knows he got some bet with his ns fren (like those in the movies) that if he get me, he'll get money!?
haha!! it rhymes! and seriously, i barely know him... talked to him like less than 20 sentences???
so yan, dun blame me for suspecting you. :P sorry ah... i'm still in the old times, thinking girls will be cheated that way... hahahahahaha
but i like oldies. .they're nice.
oh a few days ago i watched 'tang bo hu dian qiu xiang' a stephen chow's movie... on channel 8..my god, i love it soooooo much!!
those were the days!
gotta sleep... and quoting from benjamin button's show, " good night, benjamin (change the name if you want to whoever you want me to say good nite."
and ben, i'm not literally saying that to you and neither i said that while thinking of you. i meant the good night only.. :D
Sunday, 8 February 2009
mixed feelings
this year's Ox Chinese New Year is rather quiet, perhaps it has all to do with the economic crisis. LIfe goes on like a super mundane life with sun being s quiet and nothing to do. of course, i need to do something. and that is to draft out my plan on what to do for this month.
Valentine's Day is coming and to start counting from sec 1, 8 years of lifeless valentines'day had passed, including this year's, it's 9. wow
i wonder if people can stay single for 9 years. hahahaha!!! even my closest friend is off the shelf for now. haha! not saying that it's a temp or a puppy love for her but, i feel that to really lift oneself off the shelf permanently, one would go into a rlship when one is aboutthe age of 25 and above. that kind of rlship would be mutual and long lasting.
but who cares abt that now? esp in a modern society, everyone gets in and out of rlship really fast.
if someone would ask what kind of guys i like, i dunno. seriously i find myself a bit of a contradict. I have always like guys who are intelligent, tall and slim, caring and pleasant looking oh and of course, it would be a bonus if he's lil rich. Dr Gary would be one of them. :P for ur info, he's a chinese, not angmoh but he had a nice english speaking accent. hahahaha!!!
i saw him again when i bought nose spray. he made me fly once again. lol! ok ok,, out of that imagination, now i like middle age guys. and they are not in the category somemore! dumb right??
hes not attractive at all, a plain guy in his 30s and 40s i think, money earned enough for himself and not dashing at all..... intelligence, i guess not so if you think in terms of his job. nah, not going to say what job.
yet everyday, i hope to catch a glimpse of him... of course, it's not going to bear any fruits of relationship. of course, my focus now is VE and studies.... MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!
LIFE keeps on moving, and passes without u knowing....u may be dreading sun but others like the pple in VE are working and earning money and climbing the ladder of fame... i was really inspired by those who went up to get their certs and prizes....but how can i be like them??? i guess i need to come up with plans before i ask mel to hopefully arrange a meeting with those clever pple on how to close deals.....
:D life is _____________. fill it up urself and think abt it!
Sunday, 1 February 2009
socially fake
had countless dreams for the last 2-3 days. it was nice to dream but unsettling. havent got a good sleep after cny day 1. i even dreamt about jumping on some small wooden chair and get floated up, and spinning around. lol! i even dreamt about deb. yes, you know who... talkin to me about baking cookies, which are of the same colours as the paper used to put the cookies. lol!!! i even dreamt of my sociology flown in lecturer, Glenn Dawes. haha! yes, i dreamt abt him showing me his very mini tiny jug filled with magic potion, and when he added a bit to another colour, it disappears like some bubbles popped.
nice. there were more, but i ws too tired to rmb all. anyway, today is the gathering... annual gathering of the badminton khakis of my dad's generation. It was organized by one of the khakis who happened to be an SAF member, or to put it specifically, BG, brigadier General. it's great to have such gathering or party.. well, it was nice becos it faces the sea and you get a great seaview if you were there at around dusk. but we reached there like almost 9. said 'hi' to many senior 'badkhaks' and ate their food. it wasnt good. i merely like the watery hokkien mee and perhaps the humunguous eclair.
then, i said hi to Alice, the one who sold my family RAV4. den, my dad, mom and i talked to another 'BK' called Albert. Tall slim and quite good looking guy. of course, all BK are old enuff to be my dadssss... talked to the 'bk' chairman, Francis. he rmbed alot of their good ol' times and he was funny, kept laughing.
soon, Alice intro-ed me to her son, whom i met only once. And that was the day his father sent my mom and i to the mrt when i sent my car for servicing. tot he was younger than me. haha! and it turned out to be we were both the same age. he was playing mahjong! argh.. why does almost everyone at my age plays mj tht well? He's Matthias (reminds me of that Matthias from cog neuro, kinda missed his cold and eerie jokes. haha!!!) and his sister, jc 1 this year, is called Matthea, the female version. hahaha! according to Alice though. lols!
Saw Xavier, the son of BG. oh my goodness, super emo looking man. the face itself is already a typical emo looking face!!! sharp chin, small round mouth, small eyes and sharp nose. the hair of course, covering almost 80% of the face and goodness gracious, he sounded like one too!!! so soft when he said '1 year old'.
Saw Saunder, same age as me too, is the 2nd son of Francis, the chairman of BK. oh Francis' eldest son is Sebastian from Power 98! hello!! I dunno but Saunder's behaviour does resembles of a very sweet female male?? i dun want to say the 5 lettered word of triple 'S' cos it's too mean to a vry good looking male like him. but i like these kinds of 'sista' haha!! it seems as though you can confide into him almost everything and he can understands you like some good friend. haha!!!
i talked to matthias, wait, is it matthew?? watever... and yes, he studies in TJC and wow, As and Bs are his score. please, someone. can someone just get me out of this whole gathering thing i just agreed to join?!??!! shit!
he's very inquisitive, very knowledgeable, loves to discover things and wow, he speak with confidence and of course, with no air. he's super humble man! he even said, 'pardon me if i'm wrong.' oh my goodness, how good are his manners and his command of ENGLISH!!!
i was feeling so inferior when i spoke to him. plus!!!!! he asked sooooooooooooo much about what i've learnt!!! so paiseh whenever i said 'i forgot'.. ...............damn... he must be thinking, walao, so dumb/ everything you study you forgot. ' to what i assume, it's like forget=lousy in studies.
**** whoever's going to console me over this point, forget it becos it's the truth. i know it's a matter of how well you want to present yourself. well, from now on, i'll try to recall many of the things i've learnt. so at least i wont embarrass myself in front of him and those who sat around to listen.
Right, in case you didnt know, i was shivering, i was stuttering, i was rambling and i did sooo many things to embarrass myself!!! why was i so anxious? why was i shivering until it can be heard in my speech?? why why???
is it becos it's cold there? i lied to pple like my mom and him. was i excited to talk abt the things i know? was it becos there were too much to talk abt psychology until my brain was jammed and nothing good came out, and indirectly caused my brain to go blank>>>????
or perhaps, he's too smart for me to handle and hence felt inferior, shivering in fear when i spoke to him?? or perhaps its the the last alternative that i am reluctant to talk abt. he's too good looking? no no.. it's NOT just good looking ALONE, it's more of goodlooks, smart, confidence, good questions and smiles......... etc... more more. oh, and also he's friendly and amicable to new pple by nature and his dad is close to mine.
sigh, next sat there's another gathering at temasek club...near dover, ayer rajah..... i so dun feel like going...i kinda regretted when i said i'll join the bad gang EVERY SATURDAY.... sian.... go there to play until i stink and not know anyone good enuff to be as my companion....and their so called 2nd gen are playing,,which are so pro. and it could be that the so called 2nd gen are alll so younger than me... SIGH......
when i first talked to her at the gathering, i told her that i enjoy gatherings like today at Changi Cottage, and it's great to have gathering every sat... i merely said it as a sweeping statement, so i can get closer to her, pull closer our relationship and perhaps ask her to get something for her family. but she went around telling that i like gatherings argh! she even told Matthias, that i like gatherings, and said i'm very cute(not looks but as in generally), likes to talk to pple and likes to have grouping blah blah...
i was actually 'faking' it...so i can get into the social setting without feeeling out of place. well for the sake of netwrk, i've chosen the path to talk to pple and socialise...
it's a dilemma i'd say for the path i chose. cos 1 thing i like abt socializing its becos i want to be kept in the loop, i dun want to be left out. but sometimes, i dun like socializing becos i am scared......i dun like the effort of socializing and racking my brains to find topics and elaborate on them.... so tell me what to do man...i can safely say that i'm a person who is of both opp kinds...
such strong contrast of YIN AND YANG.
Good night all, i hope i can cope well with the socialization this coming sat....i need to call Auntie Binder and UncleChiaba. i dislike them...sigh...
