had countless dreams for the last 2-3 days. it was nice to dream but unsettling. havent got a good sleep after cny day 1. i even dreamt about jumping on some small wooden chair and get floated up, and spinning around. lol! i even dreamt about deb. yes, you know who... talkin to me about baking cookies, which are of the same colours as the paper used to put the cookies. lol!!! i even dreamt of my sociology flown in lecturer, Glenn Dawes. haha! yes, i dreamt abt him showing me his very mini tiny jug filled with magic potion, and when he added a bit to another colour, it disappears like some bubbles popped.
nice. there were more, but i ws too tired to rmb all. anyway, today is the gathering... annual gathering of the badminton khakis of my dad's generation. It was organized by one of the khakis who happened to be an SAF member, or to put it specifically, BG, brigadier General. it's great to have such gathering or party.. well, it was nice becos it faces the sea and you get a great seaview if you were there at around dusk. but we reached there like almost 9. said 'hi' to many senior 'badkhaks' and ate their food. it wasnt good. i merely like the watery hokkien mee and perhaps the humunguous eclair.
then, i said hi to Alice, the one who sold my family RAV4. den, my dad, mom and i talked to another 'BK' called Albert. Tall slim and quite good looking guy. of course, all BK are old enuff to be my dadssss... talked to the 'bk' chairman, Francis. he rmbed alot of their good ol' times and he was funny, kept laughing.
soon, Alice intro-ed me to her son, whom i met only once. And that was the day his father sent my mom and i to the mrt when i sent my car for servicing. tot he was younger than me. haha! and it turned out to be we were both the same age. he was playing mahjong! argh.. why does almost everyone at my age plays mj tht well? He's Matthias (reminds me of that Matthias from cog neuro, kinda missed his cold and eerie jokes. haha!!!) and his sister, jc 1 this year, is called Matthea, the female version. hahaha! according to Alice though. lols!
Saw Xavier, the son of BG. oh my goodness, super emo looking man. the face itself is already a typical emo looking face!!! sharp chin, small round mouth, small eyes and sharp nose. the hair of course, covering almost 80% of the face and goodness gracious, he sounded like one too!!! so soft when he said '1 year old'.
Saw Saunder, same age as me too, is the 2nd son of Francis, the chairman of BK. oh Francis' eldest son is Sebastian from Power 98! hello!! I dunno but Saunder's behaviour does resembles of a very sweet female male?? i dun want to say the 5 lettered word of triple 'S' cos it's too mean to a vry good looking male like him. but i like these kinds of 'sista' haha!! it seems as though you can confide into him almost everything and he can understands you like some good friend. haha!!!
i talked to matthias, wait, is it matthew?? watever... and yes, he studies in TJC and wow, As and Bs are his score. please, someone. can someone just get me out of this whole gathering thing i just agreed to join?!??!! shit!
he's very inquisitive, very knowledgeable, loves to discover things and wow, he speak with confidence and of course, with no air. he's super humble man! he even said, 'pardon me if i'm wrong.' oh my goodness, how good are his manners and his command of ENGLISH!!!
i was feeling so inferior when i spoke to him. plus!!!!! he asked sooooooooooooo much about what i've learnt!!! so paiseh whenever i said 'i forgot'.. ...............damn... he must be thinking, walao, so dumb/ everything you study you forgot. ' to what i assume, it's like forget=lousy in studies.
**** whoever's going to console me over this point, forget it becos it's the truth. i know it's a matter of how well you want to present yourself. well, from now on, i'll try to recall many of the things i've learnt. so at least i wont embarrass myself in front of him and those who sat around to listen.
Right, in case you didnt know, i was shivering, i was stuttering, i was rambling and i did sooo many things to embarrass myself!!! why was i so anxious? why was i shivering until it can be heard in my speech?? why why???
is it becos it's cold there? i lied to pple like my mom and him. was i excited to talk abt the things i know? was it becos there were too much to talk abt psychology until my brain was jammed and nothing good came out, and indirectly caused my brain to go blank>>>????
or perhaps, he's too smart for me to handle and hence felt inferior, shivering in fear when i spoke to him?? or perhaps its the the last alternative that i am reluctant to talk abt. he's too good looking? no no.. it's NOT just good looking ALONE, it's more of goodlooks, smart, confidence, good questions and smiles......... etc... more more. oh, and also he's friendly and amicable to new pple by nature and his dad is close to mine.
sigh, next sat there's another gathering at temasek club...near dover, ayer rajah..... i so dun feel like going...i kinda regretted when i said i'll join the bad gang EVERY SATURDAY.... sian.... go there to play until i stink and not know anyone good enuff to be as my companion....and their so called 2nd gen are playing,,which are so pro. and it could be that the so called 2nd gen are alll so younger than me... SIGH......
when i first talked to her at the gathering, i told her that i enjoy gatherings like today at Changi Cottage, and it's great to have gathering every sat... i merely said it as a sweeping statement, so i can get closer to her, pull closer our relationship and perhaps ask her to get something for her family. but she went around telling that i like gatherings argh! she even told Matthias, that i like gatherings, and said i'm very cute(not looks but as in generally), likes to talk to pple and likes to have grouping blah blah...
i was actually 'faking' it...so i can get into the social setting without feeeling out of place. well for the sake of netwrk, i've chosen the path to talk to pple and socialise...
it's a dilemma i'd say for the path i chose. cos 1 thing i like abt socializing its becos i want to be kept in the loop, i dun want to be left out. but sometimes, i dun like socializing becos i am scared......i dun like the effort of socializing and racking my brains to find topics and elaborate on them.... so tell me what to do man...i can safely say that i'm a person who is of both opp kinds...
such strong contrast of YIN AND YANG.
Good night all, i hope i can cope well with the socialization this coming sat....i need to call Auntie Binder and UncleChiaba. i dislike them...sigh...
