Tobias:

Ladies and Gentlemen!
May I have your attention please?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair.
To discover your pillow is covered with hair.
Wot ought not to be there?

Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken with ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare.
Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose.
From the dead!On the top of my head.

'Twas Pirelli'sMiracle elixir.
That's what did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true. Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,Just like an elixir.
Ought to do!How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed.

Does Pirelli's Stimulate the growth, sir?You can have my oath, sir,'Tis unique. Rub a minute. Stimulatin', in'it?Soon you'll have to thin it Once a week!