with regard to my previous post, i seriously still cant find what constitutes my SELF. although i've gone for the social psych lectures on Self, social perception, group dynamics and so on, it seems that i could only help others to regain their self and related stuff( i put the word 'could', so it means that i normally fails. hahaha! ) However, it seems like I cant counsel myself and i cant help myself to find the self.

after reading my friend's post, i realised that i seems to hve a similar case man! haha! to be happy becos i've got a mate who's like me? or to be sad because my fren's in a terrible state like i am.

I guess my friend's in a better yet worst state than me. why the contradiction? Bettter because my friend did not lose his self identity. my fren knows what is it and its a choice as to whether to go back or not. For me, even if i really had gone back to my self during certain situation, i wouldn't even know because i assumed too much roles. LIke what my friend said....


assuming roles is not difficult, you just have to act it out that's all and laugh it away, coming back to reality. But is it just assuming a few roles only?? is it just assuming thats all? i guess not. everyday we meet different people of new faces and of different characters and mood. we want to be liked, we desire to be like anyone else so we do not appear as freaks who is the odd one out of the norm. thats what we call in social psych, the NORMATIVE INFLUENCE. (all capital words will be words derived from the 'social psychology alive' book)<br>
practically, i live by what others define me as... in another words, i have HIGH SELF AWARENESS(or monitor). i am so conscious about myself that i worry about how and what people see me as... i am sad if the person doesnt like me, i'm happy if the person often talks to me like some good fren. i have high self-esteem when i dress up pretty BUT when others dress the same. I have low self-esteem when i know others surpass me in certain areas i regard myself to be incompetent in it.

ya..that's what my friend's a little better. My friend's worst than me when there's a large group of people. my friend do not know how to react i supposed.. dunno to adhere to some social rules and put on a vizard assuming certain roles. I understand tat man...but for me, i'd JUSTIFY it by giving myself reasons why would i want to socialise. is there a purpose?

i know there's no obligation to do that because i myself dont like that either. but what for should i increase my facial cuticle to make friends or to socialise? I hated it but i tell myself, i'll need them one day. or it will be fun to talk to someone of different perspective. I live by this idea that making friends is to gain knowledge from people. They may have experiences taht we dun and they may be the opportunities that we are searching high and low.

Attended this talk in sch by Mr KAMAL KANT. He gave a career hunt talk and he said that 'not all guys talking to you(in this case i'm a girl) would mean that he likes you.( and vice versa) you need to go out there to network. be brave and you might find that opportunity hiding in that dark corner.' he advised us to not 'look udner the light', which means that we should not only find opportunities that are in the light but to search..and not wait.


oh my...he is so right...i really take my hats off him.

well...anyone can say that this post is ALSO dedicated to my friend. i'm not saying that i AM but i said i ALSO. that means i'm writing this becos i am in this predicament and i was inspired to write in a more formal fashion...


social thinker